[Fic] John'Verse - Story Eleven - In His Grace (Part 2/3)
In His Grace - Part II
Continued from Part I
“Holy shit…” Dean muttered.
“So true Kiddo, I am the Holy Shit, ain’t I? Miss me? That lost guppy look on your face sure seems like you did,” floppy brown hair, sparkling whisky eyes and a wide irreverent grin.
“But you’re…”
“Little more than celestial dust? Yeah, well, things change. And I’ve always kinda been one of Daddy’s favourites, why do you think he let me frolic down here amongst you belly crawlers for so long, huh? Turns out he got tired of running things solo again, and called me back from the nether. Gabriel and his big horn are back in business, Baby! And, my first task is as follows…” the small man grinned.
“Daddy… who…?” John asked peeking up over the edge of the couch to the angel behind it.
“This is Gabriel,” Dean said a little dazedly.
John’s eyes widened and he scrambled right over the couch stopping in front of the archangel and looking up into his dancing eyes. “Woah…” John whispered in awe.
“Hey there Munchkin, it’s real great to meet you! I’ve always been a bit of a fan of your dad and uncle and Cassie is one of my favourite little Bs. You’re something pretty special, you know that?” Gabriel was crouched in front of the child angel, smiling gently at him in a way Dean would never have thought the false-Pagan god would be capable of.
“You… you’re… you’re one of the first. You’ve seen God! Daddy! This Gabriel the Archangel can you believe it? Everyone was saying he was dead, that Lucifer killed him, but Daddy!” John gushed, running back and forth between his father and the being in the middle of their living room. “Daddy! Papa’s gonna be okay now! Right, Sir? You’re here to help him?”
Gabriel winced, “Wow there Sprout, don’t start in on the Sirs, you’re making be feel old… well… older… Man, I actually forgot how old I am… Now if that isn’t a weird feeling. So where’s Castiel, Dean? I outta take that little brat over my knee for the whole Holy Oil incident but I think he’s been through enough.”
John’s eyes were comically wide as he gaped up at his father, “Papa trapped Mr. Gabriel in Holy Oil?”
“Well… it was more your Uncle Sam and I,” Dean grimaced, “but yeah, your Papa got most of the blame for that little incident… Sorry Man.”
“Whatevs. Over it. Wouldn’t have helped you two chumps out back when the whole Pagan Powwow thing was going down, if I hadn’t been. Besides, you guys saved the world, you pretty well get the Awesome-Hat for that one. God knows I love this little mud-marble,” Gabriel waved it off.
“Cas is down the hall,” Dean said, nodding in the direction.
“Cool. You’re gonna wanna shut those pretty greens of yours Dean-o, things are gonna get real shiny in a minute,” Gabriel flashed another grin and with a wave popped away.
-*-
John and Castiel both had angel blades in hand when Sam and Dean made it down the hall to Jasper’s room. Mary was huddled in a corner, hazel-green eyes wide as she took in the three unfamiliar angels standing menacingly in the center of the room. Sam rushed to his daughter the moment he saw her and gathered her up in his arms hushing nonsense into her ear, while keeping one eye trained ahead.
“So…” Jerazol mused, the smarmy grin of his vessel flashing in the dim light. The man was attractive in a dark blue pinstripe suit that looked custom made. He had sandy brown feathery hair and deep brown eyes, a different vessel than the one that he had when he visited them ten years previous.
“Jerazol,” Castiel growled stepping forward threateningly.
“No, no Castiel. That will not do, you honestly don’t believe I would come here unprepared now, do you?” Jerazol stepped aside and revealed that an angel in a pretty female vessel had been crouching behind him, holding Jasper. The child’s mouth lax and eyes closed, looking so like death that a lurching sickness crawled over Dean’s entire body.
“Don’t you fucking hurt him!” Dean snarled bounding forward only to be stopped by his older son’s steel strong arms. Dean glared at the boy and cursed his strength and was grateful for it all at once. It was an unsettling moment though, when one realized their seventeen year old son could break them in half or destroy them with a thought.
“See Dean, that all depends on the angel on your shoulder here. It’s a trade really. I take my pound of flesh out of dear little Jasper or I kill Castiel. We all know the only way I would succeed in hurting His Grace,” Jerazol sneered, “is if he allowed me to, but I will have no trouble whatsoever killing your sweet little one here. Not quite the prodigal that Johnny-boy was, is he? No angel manifestations yet, as I gathered… Well, except for the wings.” Jerazol leaned down to the unconscious child and ran a hand through the invisible feathers at his back. Dean’s stomach crawled and he struggled against his son’s arm, even though he could feel the tension coursing through John and his power pinging into the room. The boy was barely holding himself in check.
“What’s to stop us from destroying you right now, and ending this whole thing,” Castiel said dangerously.
“Well, you’re good, of course you are. I’m not going to deny that, but you’re a little under-matched here. The minute you kill me, my companions will be able to take out at least one of your pet humans. So who do you want to risk here, Castiel, your life or theirs?”
-*-
Dean was able to see the white-gold burn of Grace even from behind his closed eyelids once Gabriel had knocked down Castiel’s wall. Dean opened his eyes the minute the warmth faded away and took John in his arms running down the hallway with him. He sucked in a breath when he entered their bedroom, to see far more angels in it than he expected or ever wanted.
“So you do you want to risk here Castiel?” a man, Jerazol Dean guessed, in the centre of the group was musing, he had black wavy hair and smooth leather brown skin, black liquid eyes glinting maliciously. A musical lilt to his borrowed voice belying his viciousness, “You give up your grace and the child’s and you live happily ever after with your little pet human or you keep it and I get the boy. He’s an abomination Castiel, a nephillim of old, he’ll turn eventually. I’m actually doing you a favour.”
Gabriel was leaning against the windowsill behind Castiel looking bored as he dug under one blunt manicured nail.
“No,” Castiel gravelled out, voice low, raw and dangerous. “He’s nothing of the sort. He’s a remarkable creature, one that none of us have ever before witnessed. He is the Latest and Most Perfect Creation of Our Father and you commit blasphemy with your words. He was given to Dean as a gift, a reward for his work. But above all, he is my son and I will not have you speak of him in such a way.”
Dean cheered internally while at the same time looking for a way to get the hell out of dodge because Cas looked like he was about to go nuclear at any moment and Dean didn’t want to stick around to find out if The Righteous Man could survive an angel death canon.
Dean was just gathering John up again and backing towards the bedroom door when the heavy wood slammed shut behind him. Dean jumped and blinked, cursing under his breath.
“You stay here,” Jerazol sneered. “I greatly appreciate collateral.” Castiel’s gaze flickered over to Dean, the steely determination wavering. Apparently Castiel didn’t want to run the risk of Dean getting caught in the inevitable blast either and reined in the crackling energy that had been jumping around the room.
“Well, that was fun, good show Kids. A little cliché, but whatever, angels aren’t exactly known for their creativity. So here’s where the climax occurs… and no, not a fun one, sorry boys. This is where I jump in to save the day and you all owe me a big favour. Capiche?” Gabriel grinned bounding away from the windowsill.
“And who are you?” Jerazol raised a bored eyebrow, seemingly not at all impressed by the small man. Dean blinked, he supposed angels couldn’t always recognized one another. Well Jerazol was certainly in for a surprise.
“Yeah, I think I ran off before you were born. Don’t really know you much either, heard the whispers of course. Always heard the whispers. You were never anyone’s favourite, though ol’ Raph apparently had a soft spot for you. But anyway, I’m back now and duties are duties. Oh woe is my life… Oh, right, you asked who I was…” the archangel grinned, “Gabriel, pleased to meet you and I don’t appreciate lesser creatures stomping all over my Castiel and his family. You get me? Daddy says you’re grounded.” Gabriel’s eyes flashed darkly and with a whoosh and a flash that had Dean once more shielding his gaze, the other angel was banished from their presence. Gabriel brushed his hands together and turned around grinning.
“All right, day is done. I’ve cast out the cankers. I’ll just be off now, but Johnny, you ever want anything, you give me a call. Give it three more years or so first though, all right? Everyone has to deal with an interesting revelation first.” With that obscure comment Gabriel winked and fluttered out of sight.
The interesting revelation came later that year when Sam stumbled through the door, a pink bundle clutched tight to his chest and what John wanted turned out to be a baby brother three years after that.
-*-
Now though, John stood on the flip side of the situation ten years later fighting to hold back his dad while shooting anxious glances at his father. Jasper, his Jasper was hurt and alone and in so much danger and John should have known better than to worry about his parents when he had his vulnerable baby brother that he should have been worrying about instead. How could he have been such an idiot? Of course Jerazol wasn’t stupid enough to attack an archangel flat out. Of course he would have gone for the weakest link in the chain. The weak spot of them all: family.
“Now it was a pretty stupid thing of Gabriel not to kill me when he had the chance, but favoured though he may be he was never the brightest bulb in the bunch, was he?” Jerazol smiled. “Though of course, perhaps he was just following orders. Whatever the case, I am not going to be lenient this time. You destroyed Raphael, Castiel, you rebelled, you fell, you’ve committed sin as you lay with this human. You do not deserve to live, regardless of what you may think. I know Our Father would have punished you had He been able. Punished you properly. However, for whatever reason, He could not and you flout His Word and Authority at every turn. Creating these things you call children. Claiming they are God’s Gifts to you. But you tell me Castiel, what have you done to deserve such kindness from Him?”
Castiel deflated then, slumping in the folds of his overcoat and staring down at the silver-flecked blue of the carpet at his feet, “I have done nothing to deserve His kindness, but He found it within Him to bestow it upon me. Perhaps, I gained His Favour through mere happy accident as His gifts were intended for Dean. I have worked hard to atone for my sins, and I assure you being with Dean is not and never has been one of them, Brother. I realize how many I have committed and what pain I spread and though He brought me back He did not bring me back as I stand before you now. Years I existed, half of what I was before He Graced me once more with this power and strength. Had He removed my Grace entirely or I from this world, the punishment would have indeed fit the crime but He did not. He chose to give me one more chance. For whatever reason, for The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways.” Here Castiel flickered a small smile over at Dean who groaned and rolled his eyes.
“So I now give you a solution Brother. It is a simple one. As Our Father is All-knowing and as Our Father’s Word is The Word, you release my son to his father and I go with you. We have one chance each, one moment. If I succeed in killing you then what has occurred is right. If you succeed in killing me as you claim Our Father wishes, then you will succeed regardless of the difference we have in our abilities and strengths. In an effort to be fair, the first strike will be your own. Then everyone gets what they want, don’t they? If you succeed, my child is safe and well and I’m gone from this world. If I succeed then I never need lay eyes upon you and your filth again,” Castiel finished with a dangerous gleam in blue eyes belying his resigned tone. Dean wanted to argue, to fight to throw up his hands and demand justice be done here, but he had to have faith that Castiel knew what he was doing.
Jerazol mulled the proposition over for one tense agonizing moment before he nodded grimly, “Very well. I need not fear, for I am right. I accept your terms Castiel. Your human may retrieve the boy.” At Castiel’s steady nod Dean rushed forward in an instant and took his unconscious son out of the female angel’s arms. She released him easily enough and Dean backed hurriedly away.
“I will bring along only one of my companions and you may bring along one of your own, to bear witness,” Jerazol said.
“I agree. John, will you come with me?” Castiel asked. John nodded readily, and a word of protest hung on Dean’s lips once again but he bit it down at a look from his angel.
“I will bring Ashriel,” Jerazol said. The woman nodded and rose the two male companions that had remained silent through the entire exchange disappeared with a flap of wings.
“Go to Jerazol, I will meet you shortly. I need a few moments to… make my goodbyes,” Castiel said quietly.
“Very well. If you default Castiel, I know where to find you.”
“I will not default,” Castiel glared and Jerazol and Ashriel disappeared.
“Cas…” Dean said hesitantly when the angel turned resigned eyes on him. Dean was still clutching Jasper close to his chest, feeling the softly beating heart and easy breaths, the motion and sound reassuring him when the worst possible thing could happen in mere moments.
“Dean, don’t worry,” Castiel said with a smile. “I am not going to die this night. And not for many, many years to come. I promise. I’ll return as soon as I am able. I love you,” Castiel said, brushing a tender kiss against Dean’s lips and then dropping a healing kiss on their young son’s brow. Jasper’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked up at his parents.
“Daddy, Papa, what’s…” Jasper murmured.
“It’s okay Jass,” John said gently, brushing a few stray strands of thick hair from his baby brother’s brow.
“Okay,” Jasper nodded, easily taking John’s words at face value. Always ready and willing to believe what his big brother said to him. Dean shot a look at Sammy, who was still huddled with the gently crying Mary against his chest and they gave one another watery smiles.
“We should go,” Castiel said quietly.
“See you on the flip side, Dad,” John grinned with a wink.
“Take care Brat,” Dean grinned back. “You die, I kill you. You know the drill.”
“Yeah, yeah, play me the other one. Night Jass, see you later. See you Uncle Sam,” John sent a jaunty wave over at his uncle and cousin and Dean watched as he lifted a few feet off the floor, hovering and waiting for Castiel. Castiel nodded, smiled at Dean and Sam, brushed a tender hand along Jasper’s forehead and then with a gust and a flutter John and Castiel left the room.
-*-
When Castiel didn’t come back that night, and neither did John, Dean got worried. When it was three days later and Jasper and Mary were asking where Castiel and John were, Dean got terrified. He called and prayed to both of them, whispered words into silent nights as he kept vigil every moment at his sleeping son’s bedside, holding the child’s hand in hopes that the Grace he shared with the other two men in Dean’s life would carry his words up to the heavens or beyond or wherever it was that John and Castiel had gone. But nothing worked, he heard no tell-tale flutter of wings. Saw no cocky grin from his son or gentle smile from his angel. Felt nothing but a dull ache thrum through his chest and he could only watch as Jasper wandered around the house, lost confused and utterly terrified to be without his big brother because Jasper had never before been without John.
“Daddy,” Jasper whispered crawling off his bed and over to Dean’s lap where the man sat hunched and sore in the chair he placed there.
“I know Jass,” Dean whispered hugging the boy to his chest feeling small hands curl into the well-worn T-shirt he had on.
“Daddy, it’s been five days,” Jasper whispered again, his voice steady and dull.
“I know Jasper,” was all Dean could say again. “I know.”
“Daddy, I can’t-”
“Jasper!” Dean cut in before the boy could finish that sentence. He didn’t want to hear it, he couldn’t hear it. Because sure, maybe he wasn’t a celestial being like his children and their father but he was still inexplicably linked to them all and he could feel that strange hollowness too in the centre of his heart, that leak of whatever it was that was slowly trickling out of them, because he had been feeling it for far too long and was having hard time ignoring it now. That’s why he cut in harsher than he intended and would not let Jasper finish that sentence.
“Okay,” was all Jasper whispered instead. That always ready, always willing ‘okay.’ That simple two syllable word that Jasper never failed to utter because his parents and his brother had never steered him wrong before and it was so easy to just listen and to just agree and just say ‘okay.’
Dean heart flipped and his teeth clenched and he felt guilt bubble, “Jass… You don’t have to… You don’t have to do that all the time.”
“Daddy?” Jasper asked.
“Jass, you don’t have to agree all the time. Like that. We’re not always right, we… You can have your own thoughts,” Dean tried haltingly to explain this to a not even seven year old child and knew he was failing miserably.
“Okay,” Jasper said quietly. “Okay Dad.”
Dean hugged his youngest closer as tears burned and maybe if a few trickled over. It was just because it was dry in the room. Jasper clung just as tight back, but no telling dampness filtered into Dean’s thin shirt. The child’s eyes were dry.
Continue to Part III
Continued from Part I
“Holy shit…” Dean muttered.
“So true Kiddo, I am the Holy Shit, ain’t I? Miss me? That lost guppy look on your face sure seems like you did,” floppy brown hair, sparkling whisky eyes and a wide irreverent grin.
“But you’re…”
“Little more than celestial dust? Yeah, well, things change. And I’ve always kinda been one of Daddy’s favourites, why do you think he let me frolic down here amongst you belly crawlers for so long, huh? Turns out he got tired of running things solo again, and called me back from the nether. Gabriel and his big horn are back in business, Baby! And, my first task is as follows…” the small man grinned.
“Daddy… who…?” John asked peeking up over the edge of the couch to the angel behind it.
“This is Gabriel,” Dean said a little dazedly.
John’s eyes widened and he scrambled right over the couch stopping in front of the archangel and looking up into his dancing eyes. “Woah…” John whispered in awe.
“Hey there Munchkin, it’s real great to meet you! I’ve always been a bit of a fan of your dad and uncle and Cassie is one of my favourite little Bs. You’re something pretty special, you know that?” Gabriel was crouched in front of the child angel, smiling gently at him in a way Dean would never have thought the false-Pagan god would be capable of.
“You… you’re… you’re one of the first. You’ve seen God! Daddy! This Gabriel the Archangel can you believe it? Everyone was saying he was dead, that Lucifer killed him, but Daddy!” John gushed, running back and forth between his father and the being in the middle of their living room. “Daddy! Papa’s gonna be okay now! Right, Sir? You’re here to help him?”
Gabriel winced, “Wow there Sprout, don’t start in on the Sirs, you’re making be feel old… well… older… Man, I actually forgot how old I am… Now if that isn’t a weird feeling. So where’s Castiel, Dean? I outta take that little brat over my knee for the whole Holy Oil incident but I think he’s been through enough.”
John’s eyes were comically wide as he gaped up at his father, “Papa trapped Mr. Gabriel in Holy Oil?”
“Well… it was more your Uncle Sam and I,” Dean grimaced, “but yeah, your Papa got most of the blame for that little incident… Sorry Man.”
“Whatevs. Over it. Wouldn’t have helped you two chumps out back when the whole Pagan Powwow thing was going down, if I hadn’t been. Besides, you guys saved the world, you pretty well get the Awesome-Hat for that one. God knows I love this little mud-marble,” Gabriel waved it off.
“Cas is down the hall,” Dean said, nodding in the direction.
“Cool. You’re gonna wanna shut those pretty greens of yours Dean-o, things are gonna get real shiny in a minute,” Gabriel flashed another grin and with a wave popped away.
-*-
John and Castiel both had angel blades in hand when Sam and Dean made it down the hall to Jasper’s room. Mary was huddled in a corner, hazel-green eyes wide as she took in the three unfamiliar angels standing menacingly in the center of the room. Sam rushed to his daughter the moment he saw her and gathered her up in his arms hushing nonsense into her ear, while keeping one eye trained ahead.
“So…” Jerazol mused, the smarmy grin of his vessel flashing in the dim light. The man was attractive in a dark blue pinstripe suit that looked custom made. He had sandy brown feathery hair and deep brown eyes, a different vessel than the one that he had when he visited them ten years previous.
“Jerazol,” Castiel growled stepping forward threateningly.
“No, no Castiel. That will not do, you honestly don’t believe I would come here unprepared now, do you?” Jerazol stepped aside and revealed that an angel in a pretty female vessel had been crouching behind him, holding Jasper. The child’s mouth lax and eyes closed, looking so like death that a lurching sickness crawled over Dean’s entire body.
“Don’t you fucking hurt him!” Dean snarled bounding forward only to be stopped by his older son’s steel strong arms. Dean glared at the boy and cursed his strength and was grateful for it all at once. It was an unsettling moment though, when one realized their seventeen year old son could break them in half or destroy them with a thought.
“See Dean, that all depends on the angel on your shoulder here. It’s a trade really. I take my pound of flesh out of dear little Jasper or I kill Castiel. We all know the only way I would succeed in hurting His Grace,” Jerazol sneered, “is if he allowed me to, but I will have no trouble whatsoever killing your sweet little one here. Not quite the prodigal that Johnny-boy was, is he? No angel manifestations yet, as I gathered… Well, except for the wings.” Jerazol leaned down to the unconscious child and ran a hand through the invisible feathers at his back. Dean’s stomach crawled and he struggled against his son’s arm, even though he could feel the tension coursing through John and his power pinging into the room. The boy was barely holding himself in check.
“What’s to stop us from destroying you right now, and ending this whole thing,” Castiel said dangerously.
“Well, you’re good, of course you are. I’m not going to deny that, but you’re a little under-matched here. The minute you kill me, my companions will be able to take out at least one of your pet humans. So who do you want to risk here, Castiel, your life or theirs?”
-*-
Dean was able to see the white-gold burn of Grace even from behind his closed eyelids once Gabriel had knocked down Castiel’s wall. Dean opened his eyes the minute the warmth faded away and took John in his arms running down the hallway with him. He sucked in a breath when he entered their bedroom, to see far more angels in it than he expected or ever wanted.
“So you do you want to risk here Castiel?” a man, Jerazol Dean guessed, in the centre of the group was musing, he had black wavy hair and smooth leather brown skin, black liquid eyes glinting maliciously. A musical lilt to his borrowed voice belying his viciousness, “You give up your grace and the child’s and you live happily ever after with your little pet human or you keep it and I get the boy. He’s an abomination Castiel, a nephillim of old, he’ll turn eventually. I’m actually doing you a favour.”
Gabriel was leaning against the windowsill behind Castiel looking bored as he dug under one blunt manicured nail.
“No,” Castiel gravelled out, voice low, raw and dangerous. “He’s nothing of the sort. He’s a remarkable creature, one that none of us have ever before witnessed. He is the Latest and Most Perfect Creation of Our Father and you commit blasphemy with your words. He was given to Dean as a gift, a reward for his work. But above all, he is my son and I will not have you speak of him in such a way.”
Dean cheered internally while at the same time looking for a way to get the hell out of dodge because Cas looked like he was about to go nuclear at any moment and Dean didn’t want to stick around to find out if The Righteous Man could survive an angel death canon.
Dean was just gathering John up again and backing towards the bedroom door when the heavy wood slammed shut behind him. Dean jumped and blinked, cursing under his breath.
“You stay here,” Jerazol sneered. “I greatly appreciate collateral.” Castiel’s gaze flickered over to Dean, the steely determination wavering. Apparently Castiel didn’t want to run the risk of Dean getting caught in the inevitable blast either and reined in the crackling energy that had been jumping around the room.
“Well, that was fun, good show Kids. A little cliché, but whatever, angels aren’t exactly known for their creativity. So here’s where the climax occurs… and no, not a fun one, sorry boys. This is where I jump in to save the day and you all owe me a big favour. Capiche?” Gabriel grinned bounding away from the windowsill.
“And who are you?” Jerazol raised a bored eyebrow, seemingly not at all impressed by the small man. Dean blinked, he supposed angels couldn’t always recognized one another. Well Jerazol was certainly in for a surprise.
“Yeah, I think I ran off before you were born. Don’t really know you much either, heard the whispers of course. Always heard the whispers. You were never anyone’s favourite, though ol’ Raph apparently had a soft spot for you. But anyway, I’m back now and duties are duties. Oh woe is my life… Oh, right, you asked who I was…” the archangel grinned, “Gabriel, pleased to meet you and I don’t appreciate lesser creatures stomping all over my Castiel and his family. You get me? Daddy says you’re grounded.” Gabriel’s eyes flashed darkly and with a whoosh and a flash that had Dean once more shielding his gaze, the other angel was banished from their presence. Gabriel brushed his hands together and turned around grinning.
“All right, day is done. I’ve cast out the cankers. I’ll just be off now, but Johnny, you ever want anything, you give me a call. Give it three more years or so first though, all right? Everyone has to deal with an interesting revelation first.” With that obscure comment Gabriel winked and fluttered out of sight.
The interesting revelation came later that year when Sam stumbled through the door, a pink bundle clutched tight to his chest and what John wanted turned out to be a baby brother three years after that.
-*-
Now though, John stood on the flip side of the situation ten years later fighting to hold back his dad while shooting anxious glances at his father. Jasper, his Jasper was hurt and alone and in so much danger and John should have known better than to worry about his parents when he had his vulnerable baby brother that he should have been worrying about instead. How could he have been such an idiot? Of course Jerazol wasn’t stupid enough to attack an archangel flat out. Of course he would have gone for the weakest link in the chain. The weak spot of them all: family.
“Now it was a pretty stupid thing of Gabriel not to kill me when he had the chance, but favoured though he may be he was never the brightest bulb in the bunch, was he?” Jerazol smiled. “Though of course, perhaps he was just following orders. Whatever the case, I am not going to be lenient this time. You destroyed Raphael, Castiel, you rebelled, you fell, you’ve committed sin as you lay with this human. You do not deserve to live, regardless of what you may think. I know Our Father would have punished you had He been able. Punished you properly. However, for whatever reason, He could not and you flout His Word and Authority at every turn. Creating these things you call children. Claiming they are God’s Gifts to you. But you tell me Castiel, what have you done to deserve such kindness from Him?”
Castiel deflated then, slumping in the folds of his overcoat and staring down at the silver-flecked blue of the carpet at his feet, “I have done nothing to deserve His kindness, but He found it within Him to bestow it upon me. Perhaps, I gained His Favour through mere happy accident as His gifts were intended for Dean. I have worked hard to atone for my sins, and I assure you being with Dean is not and never has been one of them, Brother. I realize how many I have committed and what pain I spread and though He brought me back He did not bring me back as I stand before you now. Years I existed, half of what I was before He Graced me once more with this power and strength. Had He removed my Grace entirely or I from this world, the punishment would have indeed fit the crime but He did not. He chose to give me one more chance. For whatever reason, for The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways.” Here Castiel flickered a small smile over at Dean who groaned and rolled his eyes.
“So I now give you a solution Brother. It is a simple one. As Our Father is All-knowing and as Our Father’s Word is The Word, you release my son to his father and I go with you. We have one chance each, one moment. If I succeed in killing you then what has occurred is right. If you succeed in killing me as you claim Our Father wishes, then you will succeed regardless of the difference we have in our abilities and strengths. In an effort to be fair, the first strike will be your own. Then everyone gets what they want, don’t they? If you succeed, my child is safe and well and I’m gone from this world. If I succeed then I never need lay eyes upon you and your filth again,” Castiel finished with a dangerous gleam in blue eyes belying his resigned tone. Dean wanted to argue, to fight to throw up his hands and demand justice be done here, but he had to have faith that Castiel knew what he was doing.
Jerazol mulled the proposition over for one tense agonizing moment before he nodded grimly, “Very well. I need not fear, for I am right. I accept your terms Castiel. Your human may retrieve the boy.” At Castiel’s steady nod Dean rushed forward in an instant and took his unconscious son out of the female angel’s arms. She released him easily enough and Dean backed hurriedly away.
“I will bring along only one of my companions and you may bring along one of your own, to bear witness,” Jerazol said.
“I agree. John, will you come with me?” Castiel asked. John nodded readily, and a word of protest hung on Dean’s lips once again but he bit it down at a look from his angel.
“I will bring Ashriel,” Jerazol said. The woman nodded and rose the two male companions that had remained silent through the entire exchange disappeared with a flap of wings.
“Go to Jerazol, I will meet you shortly. I need a few moments to… make my goodbyes,” Castiel said quietly.
“Very well. If you default Castiel, I know where to find you.”
“I will not default,” Castiel glared and Jerazol and Ashriel disappeared.
“Cas…” Dean said hesitantly when the angel turned resigned eyes on him. Dean was still clutching Jasper close to his chest, feeling the softly beating heart and easy breaths, the motion and sound reassuring him when the worst possible thing could happen in mere moments.
“Dean, don’t worry,” Castiel said with a smile. “I am not going to die this night. And not for many, many years to come. I promise. I’ll return as soon as I am able. I love you,” Castiel said, brushing a tender kiss against Dean’s lips and then dropping a healing kiss on their young son’s brow. Jasper’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked up at his parents.
“Daddy, Papa, what’s…” Jasper murmured.
“It’s okay Jass,” John said gently, brushing a few stray strands of thick hair from his baby brother’s brow.
“Okay,” Jasper nodded, easily taking John’s words at face value. Always ready and willing to believe what his big brother said to him. Dean shot a look at Sammy, who was still huddled with the gently crying Mary against his chest and they gave one another watery smiles.
“We should go,” Castiel said quietly.
“See you on the flip side, Dad,” John grinned with a wink.
“Take care Brat,” Dean grinned back. “You die, I kill you. You know the drill.”
“Yeah, yeah, play me the other one. Night Jass, see you later. See you Uncle Sam,” John sent a jaunty wave over at his uncle and cousin and Dean watched as he lifted a few feet off the floor, hovering and waiting for Castiel. Castiel nodded, smiled at Dean and Sam, brushed a tender hand along Jasper’s forehead and then with a gust and a flutter John and Castiel left the room.
-*-
When Castiel didn’t come back that night, and neither did John, Dean got worried. When it was three days later and Jasper and Mary were asking where Castiel and John were, Dean got terrified. He called and prayed to both of them, whispered words into silent nights as he kept vigil every moment at his sleeping son’s bedside, holding the child’s hand in hopes that the Grace he shared with the other two men in Dean’s life would carry his words up to the heavens or beyond or wherever it was that John and Castiel had gone. But nothing worked, he heard no tell-tale flutter of wings. Saw no cocky grin from his son or gentle smile from his angel. Felt nothing but a dull ache thrum through his chest and he could only watch as Jasper wandered around the house, lost confused and utterly terrified to be without his big brother because Jasper had never before been without John.
“Daddy,” Jasper whispered crawling off his bed and over to Dean’s lap where the man sat hunched and sore in the chair he placed there.
“I know Jass,” Dean whispered hugging the boy to his chest feeling small hands curl into the well-worn T-shirt he had on.
“Daddy, it’s been five days,” Jasper whispered again, his voice steady and dull.
“I know Jasper,” was all Dean could say again. “I know.”
“Daddy, I can’t-”
“Jasper!” Dean cut in before the boy could finish that sentence. He didn’t want to hear it, he couldn’t hear it. Because sure, maybe he wasn’t a celestial being like his children and their father but he was still inexplicably linked to them all and he could feel that strange hollowness too in the centre of his heart, that leak of whatever it was that was slowly trickling out of them, because he had been feeling it for far too long and was having hard time ignoring it now. That’s why he cut in harsher than he intended and would not let Jasper finish that sentence.
“Okay,” was all Jasper whispered instead. That always ready, always willing ‘okay.’ That simple two syllable word that Jasper never failed to utter because his parents and his brother had never steered him wrong before and it was so easy to just listen and to just agree and just say ‘okay.’
Dean heart flipped and his teeth clenched and he felt guilt bubble, “Jass… You don’t have to… You don’t have to do that all the time.”
“Daddy?” Jasper asked.
“Jass, you don’t have to agree all the time. Like that. We’re not always right, we… You can have your own thoughts,” Dean tried haltingly to explain this to a not even seven year old child and knew he was failing miserably.
“Okay,” Jasper said quietly. “Okay Dad.”
Dean hugged his youngest closer as tears burned and maybe if a few trickled over. It was just because it was dry in the room. Jasper clung just as tight back, but no telling dampness filtered into Dean’s thin shirt. The child’s eyes were dry.
Continue to Part III