Comments | stocksgrrl: Room 513 of Internation Relations; Thursday Morning [ 02/19 ].

stocksgrrl

Room 513 of Internation Relations; Thursday Morning [ 02/19 ].

Feb 19, 2009 08:46

Sometimes, there were weird things that happened on this island that were just weird or stupid or annoying, and, other times, there were weird things that happened on this island from which one could learn something ( Read more... )

seeeeex?, ruining your childhood, bad island. bad., jeff, room 513 is no longer british

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scary_jeff February 19 2009, 13:56:12 UTC

Jeff was paralyzed. Jeff could not move. Jeff's fingers had started cramping up for no apparent reason. He was trying not to mutter things under his breath, but his entire system was geared for full-on panic.

He didn't move.

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:03:39 UTC

"Je~eff." Once Turtle realized that Jeff wasn't moving ,there was...a little bit of worry, but most of it was just desperation. She started nuzzling her head in against his neck, lips against it as she quietly asked, "Are you up?"

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:06:49 UTC

"No," Jeff wibbled. Bibbled. Babbled. "Nothing is up here. Absolutely nothing at all. We are out of up, the storage unit is empty. An up-monster took all the up in the building. No."

He still wasn't moving, but sort of seized up.

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:11:18 UTC

"But you're talking," Turtle said. "If you weren't up, and you were talking in your sleep, there'd be more 'breasts' in those sentences."

She pushed again him a little more, in a way that might remind him that, hey, look, she had breasts. Kind of. It probably wasn't a very effective gesture, so she was thinking about just telling him to refresh his memory.

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:20:08 UTC

"You don't understand," Jeff whimpered, staring down to his groin. "The traitor has refused us our daily supply of up. It might never be coming back, Turtle. The Melty Man has come to our bed at last, and never shall up be seen again!"

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:24:54 UTC

There was a bit of a pause, followed by a sigh. "Do you really have to call it that, Jeff?"

Because, really, the visualization power of the phrasing along was enough to be a mood killer.

Well, almost.

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:34:27 UTC

"Its name is its name," Jeff whispered, "He's already come, so it's not as if I've got to fear pulling him back. The great Gods have spoken of him, Turtle, the end times are near in Jeff Murdock's groin!"

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:39:53 UTC

"But..." Turtle faltered a little. "Maybe it was just a...thing. It could be better now; you don't know until you try."

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:45:08 UTC

Jeff laughed desperately, his head turning so that he could look at her. "I've been trying, Turtle, oh, how I've been trying." He held up his hand. "I've chafed."

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:47:40 UTC

Turtle whimpered a little, her head lowering so she could bury her face in Jeff's shoulder. Because if Melty Man wasn't enough of a mood killer, there had to be chafing brought into the picture.

But, the thing was, it wasn't killing the mood. Not really. It just made Turtle think in desperation that she was probably never going to have sex again in her entire life and that only made her really want it even more.

"Well, then, maybe you're trying too hard!"

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:48:50 UTC

Jeff had been about to launch into the next part of his diatribe, because all of this was very distressing and oh god his life was going to end and he'd... he'd have to jump out of a window.

"...like a break," he ventured, "of chafing?"

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 14:54:01 UTC

"Or maybe," Turtle offered, softening again and melting against Jeff a little as her arm settled across his chest and her finger traced along his jaw, "just a break from thinking about it. Maybe you should let me do the thinking about it."

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 14:55:08 UTC

"...Okay," he said, staring at her with wild eyes.

Wild, oh-god-I'm-going-to-blow-up eyes. "You can try thinking about it. For once."

That lasted about five seconds. "Ohgodwhatifit'snevercomingback?!"

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 15:01:19 UTC

"Je-eeeeff!" Turtle whined, feeling frustration rise up and take over with that last bit. "Stop thinking about it so much! You're only making it worse."

scary_jeff February 19 2009, 15:03:41 UTC

"I can't help it, Turtle!" he whimpered, "It's in my head now! Worse than breasts, or, or thighs, or gussets! Just over and over, this constant cacaphony of melting things." He scrambled at the bed, which was horribly ineffective considering that Turtle was still there.

stocksgrrl February 19 2009, 15:07:25 UTC

Especially since, when Jeff moved, Turtle just clung, even wrapping a leg around his to help. "Then think of those things instead! Think about breasts. How many times am I going to actually tell you to think about breasts, Jeff? None. So you really ought to be taking advantage of this; it's kind of a once in a lifetime offer."

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