Always Attract (Chapter 75)
Luke sat on his mother’s couch as he watched her pace back and forth. He ran his hands over his face and sighed. He wanted….no, needed to talk to Reid, but unfortunately couldn’t. Reid had been out of town all week, but even more than that, Luke wasn’t sure how to talk to Reid. Was he really just a blip on his radar? Was whatever they had nothing more than just an experiment? There were so many questions he had. He just wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to get the answers.
“Call him Luke,” Lily said stopping right in front of him.
“No.”
“Luke.”
“I’m not doing it. How many times mom?” he said defeated. “How many times are we going to have to do this? I’m not calling Noah. I don’t love him. At this point, I don’t want anything to do with him. You know our past. Why would you want me with someone like that?”
“Exactly Luke! I know your past and so does he. He’s always come back to you.”
“He would’ve never had to have come back to me if he never would’ve left. Once I could forgive, but it happened over and over and over again. What’s worse is he left or blamed me for things that weren’t even my fault. He made me feel awful about myself. Does that mean anything to you?” He looked pleadingly at her. Surely, the mom who had always loved him and would do anything for him had to be in there somewhere.
“Mom?”
She turned around and hung her head. “I’m just so disappointed in you Luke.”
Luke blinked back tears and grabbed his coat, darting out the door.
*
Casey walked over to the bar and sat down. Luke was next to him with his shoulders slumped forward. The glass of whiskey sat in front of him, untouched.
“Rough day?” Casey asked making conversation.
Luke snorted. “Do you ever wonder how you could let your life get so messed up?” He shook his head. “Do you ever wish you could go back and change it all?”
Casey laughed ruefully. “Is that a joke? Of course I do. For starters I would’ve never have gotten myself arrested. I would’ve never have gone to prison. I would’ve never have hurt Maddie the way I did. I would’ve never have talked you into that rigging that stupid election. I would’ve never have started something with Emily or Alison, I never would’ve……” Casey paused before staring off into space.
“Slept with Matt,” Luke filled in for him. At Casey’s questioning glance, he continued. “He told me.”
Casey looked down at the bar not really saying anything.
“Are you okay?” Luke asked. “I mean…..that’s a big change…for you.”
“I’m fine and I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said shortly.
Luke nodded. “Okay.”
“You wanna talk about that?” Casey said pointing to the drink in front of Luke.
“Nope,” he replied, tracing the rim of the glass with his finger.
“What do you think you’re doing Luke?”
“I’m sitting.”
“At a bar!”
“So?”
“I take it we’re in the feeling sorry for our self stage at the moment.”
“Don’t judge me Casey. You’re here doing the same thing.”
“Maybe, but I’m also not an alcoholic.”
“So you can drown your sorrows in booze, but I’m just supposed to what….sweat it out?”
“I don’t care what you do, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting you drink that.”
“I didn’t know you still cared.”
Casey lifted up Luke’s shirt to reveal a darkened scar. “Damn it Casey,” he said pulling at the cloth on his left side.
“You have Matt’s kidney inside you. He gave it to you and what are you going to do Luke? Are you going to throw that away? You won’t just be ruining yourself, but you’ll be ruining a part of him.”
Luke straightened up. “I’ve been staring at it for over an hour,” he murmured. “I haven’t taken a drink yet.”
Casey’s anger dissipated a little. “Good,” he said softly. “Don’t.”
Casey ordered a soda for himself and a water for Luke. He had the bartender take the whiskey away and the two sat there in an uncomfortable silence.
“He’s back you know.” Luke turned to the side and stared at Casey. “He got back last night.”
“H-how is he?”
“He’s fine. We haven’t….talked about it you know. About you I mean. Being sick,” he clarified.
“But you told him about Matt,” he assumed.
“No,” Casey shook his head.
Luke looked confused. “Why not?”
“Because it’s not something that needs to come from me. It’s something he should hear from you and from Matt.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Luke said seriously.
“Why not?”
“Why are you mad at Matt again?”
Casey smirked. “Because I’m an idiot.”
Luke smiled in reply. “We all are.”
“You should go and talk to him.”
“I tried to already. He didn’t want to listen. I want him to, but……”
“He lashes out. When he’s been hurt; he lashes out. Then when he realizes he’s giving too much away with his emotions, he retreats, acts like he doesn’t care. You know this Luke.”
A tear slid down Luke’s cheek. “Casey?”
“Yeah?”
“I should’ve come to you. When I felt myself slipping. You were going through your own stuff, but….I know you would’ve been there. We could’ve helped each other. You were my best friend and I…..I miss you.”
Casey attempted to cover up his own watering eyes at Luke’s admission.. “I miss you too,” he said seriously. “I was angry, but….I wanted you to come back. Reid….” He cleared his throat. “I don’t think you should give up on him yet. He told me what he said…to you. We avoided the kidney thing, but….Luke….”
“I love you Casey.” He stood up and threw his arms around him.
“Oh.” He hugged him back awkwardly. “Okay…..Luke……can’t breathe.”
“Sorry. It’s just……thank you.”
He grabbed his coat, putting it on. “Luke,” Casey called when he was halfway through the door.
“Yeah?”
“You’re stronger then you think you are. Just….don’t forget that. No matter what anyone else says.”
He fixed his collar and smiled before walking out.