Just to clear some things up...
I'm hearing some rather unusual rumours. Things like Chris and I "plotting" against HOL and trying to set out and hurt people. I have to agree with what Chris said in his journal. If you could even begin to think that either he or I would do something like that, than you quite obviously don't know either of us at all.
I'm was going to post in here the email that I sent to Rames about my resignation, but instead have decided to just write what has been going on with me.
As most of you should know, I was ill for some time in March, then ended up having pneumonia in April. I ended up going on leave without pay at one point because of having missed so much work due to all of this. I am still regaining strength, having had pneumonia twice in under two years is not a good thing. I get up every morning at 5 am for work, and get home around 5pm at night. I sleep an awful lot on weekends. After being up and about for 12 hours, I don't have much energy left to deal with a lot of things, and I do have a home and other things that I need to take care of.
Those that read my journal should also know that I have been dealing with my father having cancer for almost a year now. What you may or may not know is that my father is still my hero. I am very close to my father, and I am watching him waste away. This is a man who has never been ill in his life. I am the eldest of 3 children, and my sister is having a very hard time coming to terms with all of this. In some ways, I am more fortunate because I deal with things like this in my work. But it is still very different when you are going through it personally. My father means the world to me, and I am having the hardest time just dealing with not being able to talk to him because the cancer has made it damned near impossible for him to talk. But I still try, and so does he.
You also know that I have a very demanding job, and work full time, often more than full time. My days are long and stressful, sometimes almost unbearably so. I have been known to break down and cry at work over some of what goes on there, or over some of the situations that I have to help people through.
When I sent in my resignation, I said very clearly that I just don't have the energy to give to HOL that it deserves. I'm barely holding my own on things I need to do for me. Then to hear that people are thinking that there is a plot? It would almost make me question what I'd been a part of for so long if I really took that too seriously, but it still hurts.
Real life happens. People get worn out. I did not want to keep things going as they were because I felt it was unfair to HOL if I kept the positions I had but did not have the energy to do all that I needed to be doing. And for this, people are saying how hurt they are. If I had the energy to take time to go over this with everyone who wishes I would have talked to them, I wouldn't have needed to do this in the first place. I have to take care of myself now, and be strong for my family. If that can't be understood, then I am truly sorry.
If anyone has noticed, I've not even taken time to update here in quite some time. Though I was never a very active poster here, I have always tried to keep up on what is going on with everyone else.
I'm was going to post in here the email that I sent to Rames about my resignation, but instead have decided to just write what has been going on with me.
As most of you should know, I was ill for some time in March, then ended up having pneumonia in April. I ended up going on leave without pay at one point because of having missed so much work due to all of this. I am still regaining strength, having had pneumonia twice in under two years is not a good thing. I get up every morning at 5 am for work, and get home around 5pm at night. I sleep an awful lot on weekends. After being up and about for 12 hours, I don't have much energy left to deal with a lot of things, and I do have a home and other things that I need to take care of.
Those that read my journal should also know that I have been dealing with my father having cancer for almost a year now. What you may or may not know is that my father is still my hero. I am very close to my father, and I am watching him waste away. This is a man who has never been ill in his life. I am the eldest of 3 children, and my sister is having a very hard time coming to terms with all of this. In some ways, I am more fortunate because I deal with things like this in my work. But it is still very different when you are going through it personally. My father means the world to me, and I am having the hardest time just dealing with not being able to talk to him because the cancer has made it damned near impossible for him to talk. But I still try, and so does he.
You also know that I have a very demanding job, and work full time, often more than full time. My days are long and stressful, sometimes almost unbearably so. I have been known to break down and cry at work over some of what goes on there, or over some of the situations that I have to help people through.
When I sent in my resignation, I said very clearly that I just don't have the energy to give to HOL that it deserves. I'm barely holding my own on things I need to do for me. Then to hear that people are thinking that there is a plot? It would almost make me question what I'd been a part of for so long if I really took that too seriously, but it still hurts.
Real life happens. People get worn out. I did not want to keep things going as they were because I felt it was unfair to HOL if I kept the positions I had but did not have the energy to do all that I needed to be doing. And for this, people are saying how hurt they are. If I had the energy to take time to go over this with everyone who wishes I would have talked to them, I wouldn't have needed to do this in the first place. I have to take care of myself now, and be strong for my family. If that can't be understood, then I am truly sorry.
If anyone has noticed, I've not even taken time to update here in quite some time. Though I was never a very active poster here, I have always tried to keep up on what is going on with everyone else.