my first entry of a new year....
like that really means anything. why is it when you think to the future you sometimes think you wont be there? is it because we only live day by day.
ive found a place to live with layla after her sister moves out, which is great but my boyfriend thinks for some reason that he can find a place by himself and be able to pay actual bills. i want to be happy for him because i really would like to live on my own again not having to pick up after him all the time, because im not his fucking mother, but for some reason really dont think he can afford it since he just bought a new car and his insurance just went up from 250 to 400. there goes both his pay checks for the month. although he does make bank in tips i doubt it will be enough to pay for rent and bills and a phone and booze money and food. oh well we will see what happens. ive gotten to this point in my life to let more things go and finding myself less stressed out in the long run........its just that when big problems do arise i sometimes find myself lost, as if there are so many things that i can not control and it drives me mind to worry about them. i wonder if my solution is to just ask myself whether or not my problem will be solved if i just let it go. i think one of our biggest problem in life is letting go, to except things as they are and try to make the best of it while we can, or just live a life of stress and fear and loneliness. people think that not being with anyone makes you lonely, but i sometimes feel lonely when i with someone. do people realize when you die you will be alone. you cant take the one that you love with you, but you can enjoy the time you have together. im tired and out of smokes so goodbye.
wintey
ive found a place to live with layla after her sister moves out, which is great but my boyfriend thinks for some reason that he can find a place by himself and be able to pay actual bills. i want to be happy for him because i really would like to live on my own again not having to pick up after him all the time, because im not his fucking mother, but for some reason really dont think he can afford it since he just bought a new car and his insurance just went up from 250 to 400. there goes both his pay checks for the month. although he does make bank in tips i doubt it will be enough to pay for rent and bills and a phone and booze money and food. oh well we will see what happens. ive gotten to this point in my life to let more things go and finding myself less stressed out in the long run........its just that when big problems do arise i sometimes find myself lost, as if there are so many things that i can not control and it drives me mind to worry about them. i wonder if my solution is to just ask myself whether or not my problem will be solved if i just let it go. i think one of our biggest problem in life is letting go, to except things as they are and try to make the best of it while we can, or just live a life of stress and fear and loneliness. people think that not being with anyone makes you lonely, but i sometimes feel lonely when i with someone. do people realize when you die you will be alone. you cant take the one that you love with you, but you can enjoy the time you have together. im tired and out of smokes so goodbye.
wintey