(no subject)
so yesterday i watched the valencia v athletic bilbao game yesterday. it was terrifying but awesome. i think i kind of freaked out my neighbors from screaming and swearing a lot, but that's not new. also! i watched it on the bootiful television and that was GLORIOUS. *_* grass was so green. by the end though, i was freaking out too much and wanted the game to be over because i couldn't handle it anymore. i think i had like ten near heart attacks guh and i kept holding my breath so much while hiding behind my hands...especially during that penalty kick OMG.
the point of this post is that during half time, about 3 kay jewelers commercials. three. in a row. ok i could be exaggerating on that.
but has anyone else noticed the increasing broadcasts of these commercials? well it's the holiday season so i guess that makes sense.
anyways HOW FUCKING CREEPY ARE THEY HUH? like i've seen them before but i never really gave them a thought and the more i watch, i'm just like...what the hell?
the first one i can recall is one i saw a year ago with that dude and his deaf girlfriend in front of a christmas tree and he's all I PRACTICED SO HARD TO LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE HERE MERRY CHRISTMAS. yes because it's so hard to practice how to sign MERRY CHRISTMAS. not that i know how, but that's not the point. ANYWAYS. he hands her this box which turns out to contain a watch because nothing says i love you more than that. then he's all omg do you like it and she signs ~read my lips~ *sexy makeout*
there was one i remember around valentine's day season. it was kind of cute actually but still dumb. there was this dad giving the mom a necklace from kay and she just gushes at how much she freaking loves it and their impressionable kid is watching this interaction obviously getting ideas. then we see him making a necklace and putting it in a tiny box and writing on the lid KAY, which he then gives to his crush for valentine's and she's all OMGAW I LOVE IT BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY TWEENS ARE GOING TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS. she kisses his cheek while he just looks ridiculously blissful and the only message i get from this is that i'll never get any physical sex unless a dude gives me a fucking diamond. or that if i was a dude i ain't never getting any unless my wallet's empty cause women just love their jewelry that much. GOD DAMNIT THESE COMMERCIALS ARE AWFUL.
one that i really hated was where this young woman and little girl were making something in their living room. i dunno if it was a mother or a babysitter, the commercial never says, but the girl's all SO BRIAN SAYS HE LUUUUUVS YOU like they're two gossipy chicks at a sleepover and the woman goes um what, how do you know.? the girl says in that little miss know it all tone that makes you want to smack her upside the head ~cause he told me so~ and the woman gives this smile and reveals this heart necklaces she has on, "WEELL HE TOLD ME TOOO~~~"
gag. why do i remember these and not remember the different case laws for forensics. damnit.
but the one that had me nearly giving myself a whiplash to stare at the tv was where this couple is in this cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere while this huge ass rainstorm is going on outside and they're just standing by the window watching the rain. the guy's all IN ALL THE YEARS WE'VE BEEN COMING HERE I'VE NEVER SEEN A STORM LIKE THIS then BOOM BOOM THUNDER LIGHTNING OMG SCARY~~ the woman turns to embrace him like how i would imagine it to happen in harlequin romance novels cause o dear the lightning is too scary. this is done in slow mo of course. he embraces her while laughing cause HOHOHO MEN NO SCARED OF LIGHTNING *thumps chest* and it's soooo romantic. the cocky man he is already being goes "HAHAHAH SILLY WOMAN I'M RIGHT HERE!!" in this very light mocking tone, while she giggles to herself at how o so silly she was being.
then all the sudden i swear it was like he decides to turn his mojo on and deepen his voice into what i can only describe as a sinister murder ready to slice his victims up -- he whips out this jewelry box and goes, "AND I ALWAYS WILL BE."
i pretty much groaned at this point while the commercial goes on to show the new ~lover's embrace~ collection they have and how the guy's love should be shown by giving her tacky expensive jewelry and that it will comfort her and shit blahblahblah ~ the lady puts the necklace on, gives him a seducing look (because you just know they're gonna be boning each other the second this commercial is over), and ~embraces him~ saying in a sultry way, "DON'T LET GO...EVER."
then they proceed to make out while the commercial ends with a sing songy mocking way ~EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH KAY~ OHOHO I C WUT U DID THARR KAY JEWELERS. clever clever.
EFF these jewelry commercials are so mind blowingly stupid. not only did i learn that love only comes with jewelry, but also that i will never be secure without a man. thanks guys, thanks. to be honest though, i wouldn't expect any better out of these kinds of commercials because how else are they going to sell right?
the point of this post is that during half time, about 3 kay jewelers commercials. three. in a row. ok i could be exaggerating on that.
but has anyone else noticed the increasing broadcasts of these commercials? well it's the holiday season so i guess that makes sense.
anyways HOW FUCKING CREEPY ARE THEY HUH? like i've seen them before but i never really gave them a thought and the more i watch, i'm just like...what the hell?
the first one i can recall is one i saw a year ago with that dude and his deaf girlfriend in front of a christmas tree and he's all I PRACTICED SO HARD TO LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE HERE MERRY CHRISTMAS. yes because it's so hard to practice how to sign MERRY CHRISTMAS. not that i know how, but that's not the point. ANYWAYS. he hands her this box which turns out to contain a watch because nothing says i love you more than that. then he's all omg do you like it and she signs ~read my lips~ *sexy makeout*
there was one i remember around valentine's day season. it was kind of cute actually but still dumb. there was this dad giving the mom a necklace from kay and she just gushes at how much she freaking loves it and their impressionable kid is watching this interaction obviously getting ideas. then we see him making a necklace and putting it in a tiny box and writing on the lid KAY, which he then gives to his crush for valentine's and she's all OMGAW I LOVE IT BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY TWEENS ARE GOING TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS. she kisses his cheek while he just looks ridiculously blissful and the only message i get from this is that i'll never get any physical sex unless a dude gives me a fucking diamond. or that if i was a dude i ain't never getting any unless my wallet's empty cause women just love their jewelry that much. GOD DAMNIT THESE COMMERCIALS ARE AWFUL.
one that i really hated was where this young woman and little girl were making something in their living room. i dunno if it was a mother or a babysitter, the commercial never says, but the girl's all SO BRIAN SAYS HE LUUUUUVS YOU like they're two gossipy chicks at a sleepover and the woman goes um what, how do you know.? the girl says in that little miss know it all tone that makes you want to smack her upside the head ~cause he told me so~ and the woman gives this smile and reveals this heart necklaces she has on, "WEELL HE TOLD ME TOOO~~~"
gag. why do i remember these and not remember the different case laws for forensics. damnit.
but the one that had me nearly giving myself a whiplash to stare at the tv was where this couple is in this cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere while this huge ass rainstorm is going on outside and they're just standing by the window watching the rain. the guy's all IN ALL THE YEARS WE'VE BEEN COMING HERE I'VE NEVER SEEN A STORM LIKE THIS then BOOM BOOM THUNDER LIGHTNING OMG SCARY~~ the woman turns to embrace him like how i would imagine it to happen in harlequin romance novels cause o dear the lightning is too scary. this is done in slow mo of course. he embraces her while laughing cause HOHOHO MEN NO SCARED OF LIGHTNING *thumps chest* and it's soooo romantic. the cocky man he is already being goes "HAHAHAH SILLY WOMAN I'M RIGHT HERE!!" in this very light mocking tone, while she giggles to herself at how o so silly she was being.
then all the sudden i swear it was like he decides to turn his mojo on and deepen his voice into what i can only describe as a sinister murder ready to slice his victims up -- he whips out this jewelry box and goes, "AND I ALWAYS WILL BE."
i pretty much groaned at this point while the commercial goes on to show the new ~lover's embrace~ collection they have and how the guy's love should be shown by giving her tacky expensive jewelry and that it will comfort her and shit blahblahblah ~ the lady puts the necklace on, gives him a seducing look (because you just know they're gonna be boning each other the second this commercial is over), and ~embraces him~ saying in a sultry way, "DON'T LET GO...EVER."
then they proceed to make out while the commercial ends with a sing songy mocking way ~EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH KAY~ OHOHO I C WUT U DID THARR KAY JEWELERS. clever clever.
EFF these jewelry commercials are so mind blowingly stupid. not only did i learn that love only comes with jewelry, but also that i will never be secure without a man. thanks guys, thanks. to be honest though, i wouldn't expect any better out of these kinds of commercials because how else are they going to sell right?