i love g., but

i can't stop fucking thinking about him.

kc, g., k-hen, al, and i all played monopoly tonight. 
and even though g. was sitting right there next to me, i couldn't stop myself from staring at kc.  
i think i like like him.
he's the reason i'm dressing up in a short skirt for halloween.
i want him to see me as sexy, not just his friend or roommate.

i wish i didn't care what he thinks.

i got to talk to lala today (my niece, who's five, and about whom i am absolutely crazy).
i asked her how kindergarten was going, and if she was learning anything cool, and she told me that they just learned the letter s.
i asked her if she could tell me any words that start with sshe thought for a minute, then went, "eskimo ( Read more... )

i'm feeling (slightly) better today.  i slept, like, all day (until about 3:30, but i stayed in bed until after 5).  i'd promised my roommates that i'd cook dinner for them for a while, so i finally got up and did that.
i made roasted chicken, garlic and herb mashed potatoes, and biscuts.  and for dessert, i made snickerdoodles (they're k-hen's ( Read more... )

i have a secret, one that i've never, ever spoken aloud before, even though some people may have already guessed from my behavior.
i'm suicidal. 
it's bad right now. all i want to do is stop hurting. g. says (and has been saying for the past two years) that it'll get better, life gets easier, the hurt will go away.
he's lying. it never gets any ( Read more... )

so, okay. so, k-hen decides that he's going to try to get me to open up to him, since he's been noticing that i've not exactly been myself these past couple weeks.
right.
like i'm really going to talk to him? i can't tell anyone what's going on. i can't even talk to the med about it, and she's been my best friend for the past fifteen years.
the thing ( Read more... )