Shabbat. At Last!
I just experienced a small glimmer of what Shabbat is supposed to be. I went out to get some breakfast (Coke and fruit and cheese from 7-11 because I'm depressed, at 3:20 AM because my sleep/wake cycle is all screwed up).
I walked out of my house at 3:20 AM and was dumbstruck by how quiet it was, and how dark (dark enough to see stars, which is rare in Central Austin), yet I could also see clouds, which were moving SO fast! I've never seen such fast clouds. But then again, my neighborhood has never been that quiet or that dark, either. It was just SO quiet and calm and beautiful, that I felt peace and comfort for the first time in a long time.
So if I know what Shabbat can be, how come I can't turn off my computer and my TV? I guess because I still feel depressed and lonely and just need my small "creature comforts/guilty pleasures" to tide me over right now. But at least I also feel a little hopeful. I guess I am blessed after all.
I walked out of my house at 3:20 AM and was dumbstruck by how quiet it was, and how dark (dark enough to see stars, which is rare in Central Austin), yet I could also see clouds, which were moving SO fast! I've never seen such fast clouds. But then again, my neighborhood has never been that quiet or that dark, either. It was just SO quiet and calm and beautiful, that I felt peace and comfort for the first time in a long time.
So if I know what Shabbat can be, how come I can't turn off my computer and my TV? I guess because I still feel depressed and lonely and just need my small "creature comforts/guilty pleasures" to tide me over right now. But at least I also feel a little hopeful. I guess I am blessed after all.