You Belong To Me [2/2]
---
Consequences sucked. It had been a week and Ryan hadn't even called Brendon. They usually tried to see each other in the hallways. But nothing. Ryan was like a ghost. A ghost in Brendon's life.
He didn't mean to say any of those things to Ryan but he was having a bad day. And he didn't expect for Ryan to pretty much disappear off the face of the earth. He could go to Staci, but that was just a big no in his book.
He would not stoop low enough to ask Ryan's girlfriend why he was ignoring him. She probably encouraged this kind of behavior. Brendon was pretty sure that Staci didn't like him one bit. She was a cheerleader and her boyfriend didn't need a band geek as a best friend.
Ryan didn't even go to the football game the previous Friday at all. Ryan's never done that their entire four years in high school. He was always at a game. In the last two years it was either to cheer on Staci or to hang out with Brendon.
He really missed the guy. And if this was how this was going to go, he didn't want Ryan to choose. He would rather have his best friend than nothing at all.
He missed how Ryan would know right away that Brendon was in a shitty mood. If he knew how down Brendon was, he'd be over within seconds to take him out and just watch the guys in the park try to pick up girls with their dogs. Or something equally amusing.
It went the other way around too. He knew when someone spoke of mothers too much, Ryan got really upset. But Brendon would just talk about how his parents secretly just wanted to give him up for adoption. How they wanted to give him up for a well behaved kid from Britain, with a real British accent.
And Ryan would laugh every time. Even when Brendon threw in a horrible, horrible British accent.
They shared the same music, the same sense of humor, and sometimes even the same emotions. When Ryan was having a really shitty day, Brendon would almost always be brought down with him. Or if Ryan was ecstatic, most of the time Brendon would be ecstatic too.
They went to the same haunts; just naturally had a good time always. A lot of the things they did together were an accident. Brendon was just futzing around with an old guitar in his basement when Ryan came down and Ryan told him about how he wanted to be a rockstar and he played some guitar too.
It was as if every day they got closer and closer, and now it seemed like Brendon ruined it all.
It was getting late, and even though the days seemed to drag longer and longer, the nights were the worst.
Most nights he could barely fall asleep. He knew he was a zombie in marching band but he couldn't help it.
He went to shut his blinds and out of the corner of his eye he noticed a car sitting on the corner, lights still on. Brendon walked away before he realized it.
Brendon ran back to the window and the car was gone. Brendon rubbed his eyes, but figured he was just imagining it. The car looked a lot like...
A car in his imagination, he realized.
He put out the light and for once instantly fell asleep, to dreams of Ryan, and how he wished everything was the same. Even if he was pining for him. That was better than a Ryan-less life.
---
It was the next week and Ryan still hadn't contacted Brendon, even though they did see each other in the hallway. Once. They waved and Brendon rushed forward, but some girl dragged him in another direction.
Other than that, nothing.
Brendon still hadn't been able to sleep without Ryan. It was stupid because it wasn't as if Ryan actually slept with him, but once it seemed that Ryan didn't want any part of his life anymore that Brendon just couldn't sleep.
He had started this habit of him sleeping in the lunchroom. He knew that he wasn't going to be very good company to Pete and Patrick anyway, at least he had a plausible reason for not being as happy go lucky as he usually was.
Pete and Patrick usually shoot him some looks, but don't question it. They just look at him occassionally and chatter on about normal things that Pete and Patrick talk about.
Like how Patrick is the apple in Pete's eye and sure that new kid is pretty hot, but Pete will never see anyone other than Patrick, and Patrick needed to realize that.
That was one day where Brendon was in between sleep and consciousness. He realized too late that he wasn’t' going to get any sleep that day.
Pete and Patrick were arguing, with Patrick blushing a little at the comments Pete was making. Brendon was strangely on Pete's side in the argument.
Pete only saw Patrick. If there was a crowd of buff guys, and girls in short skirts and sticky lipstick, Pete would only see Patrick. That's kind of how he was built.
Patrick obviously didn't realize that. "That is such a bullshit line, seriously," Patrick said, but his cheeks were still flushing.
Pete looked hurt at that accusation, but didn't say anything further. He just stared with his lunch.
Brendon sat up and decided to actually eat his lunch. He didn't want to become anorexic over this stupid thing.
They were having sweet and sour chicken with rice and a fortune cookie. Brendon fiddled around with the rice for a minute before he opened his fortune cookie.
eventually all best friends fall in love, it's up to you what happens next
Brendon crumbled up the piece of paper. He didn't need some guy in a room, who typed all these out telling him what to do.
Pete was swirling his rice around with his sweet and sour sauce and didn't seem to pay attention. Brendon leaned over to Patrick. "You know, he really does have eyes for you." he confided.
Patrick glared at him but didn't say anything. He did turn to look at Pete though, so that was a start. Brendon had to try again. He had to fix Pete and Patrick if his own love life was in the shitter.
Brendon placed a hand on Patrick's forearm. "Patrick, the kids head over heels, twice over for you. He wouldn't even look at someone else,"
Patrick didn't say anything for the longest time and just kept staring at Pete. Pete eventually looked up and they just stared at each other before Brendon saw Patrick's lips quirk up.
"You really weren't looking at her?"
Pete let out an exasperated breath. "Trick. No, I wasn't."
Pete smiled at Patrick and all felt right in the world.
Brendon pushed his lunch away and put his arms down to try to actually get some sleep since world war three wasn't about to happen.
"Hey, not so fast sleeping beauty," Pete told him.
Brendon popped his head back up, because he didn't feel like the new rejuvenated Pete and Patrick to turn their anger on him.
Since they had him up, he could at least show them the decency of staying up and giving proper conversation. He offered some humming for them, which was a start. It would be nice to get some human contact again.
Pete laughed into Patrick's shoulder. "You're sleeping all the time. What, is Ryan keeping you up all night?"
Brendon frowned. Pete was on something. "What are you talking about?"
Patrick and Pete exchanged a look, and that would be creepy if Brendon didnt' want to know what was going on so bad.
Patrick leaned forward in his seat a bit to whisper at Brendon. "It's okay, we know." he promised.
Brendon felt his eyebrows furrow together. He didn't know what either one of them were smoking, but he wanted some. Stat.
He sighed. "What are you two talking about?"
They shared another look. "About you and Ryan. You mean you guys didn't get together?
Brendon sent them a long glaze. "No, why would we?"
Patrick bit his lip and Pete made a face. Where in the world would they get that ridiculous idea? Not that Brendon minded it one bit. His life would be pretty cool if he and Ryan were together.
Pete nodded towards the cheerleader table. "Ryan broke up with Staci last week, and we kind of figured, you know, that it was because of you."
Brendon froze, because seriously, what?
Brendon looked over to the table in question and he seen a bunch of cheerleaders, a few football players and Staci. But no Ryan. Ryan wasn't sitting with them.
So Staci and Ryan broke up. Allegedly. Brendon kind of wanted facts before anything was really set in stone. He could really believe it.
He didn't know when this happened, why, or anything. But Brendon was a little more confused than tired. He really didn't know what was going on.
---
He knew this was kind of a stupid idea. Calling might have been a smarter reaction, but that did not almost ensure that there would be some face to face contact. This way, Ryan couldn't ignore him.
Ryan's dad would make sure that Ryan at least talked to him, because he was good for some things.
It was kind of stupid that he had to indirectly use Ryan's dad to talk to him. He should knock and Ryan should answer and everything should be fine.
Brendon really hated this distance that may or may not be between them. He didn't even know because he hadn't seen Ryan in a week and a half pretty much.
He hadn't been online; he wasn't answering Brendon's texts, nothing. This was unlike Ryan.
Brendon tentatively knocked on the Ross' door. He took a step back and tried to calm down before the door opened to reveal Ryan's dad.
Of course.
But Mr. Ross smiled nonetheless. "Brendon, how are you doing these days? Haven't seen you in a while."
Brendon scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. Is Ryan here?"
Mr. Ross took a step back and leaned towards the living room where his and Ryan's rooms were.
He stood straight and shook his head. "Nope. He hasn't been home that much lately. Gets home late almost every night." Brendon felt weirdly smug, because ha. Patrick and Pete didn't know what they were talking about.
Mr. Ross looked up towards the ceiling. "Hanging out with some Jon kid. Jon something or another. Seems alright. He brought him home the other night."
Brendon's heart sunk, because Jon. Jon was a boy's name. Ryan was dissing Brendon and spending all of his time with this Jon character.
Brendon automatically didn't like this Jon guy. If that was even his real name.
Brendon coughed and needed to go before he let the jealousy in his through do something bad like trash Ryan's room.
"Can you just tell him that I came by?"
Mr. Ross beamed and Brendon tried to match it but it was kind of hard. "Sure thing, my boy. I'll tell him you stopped by."
Brendon nodded and hopped off the Ross' stoop and back to his own ghastly purple minivan.
The entire rest of the evening passes by a blur. Brendon remembers sitting in front of the television, but he can't remember what he was watching. He knew he did some homework but he couldn't remember what he wrote.
His mind was in a completely different place. He had so much crap to process that he couldn't really pay attention to the world around him.
Ryan and Staci broke up. And on top of that, which was a mind fuck in its entirety, he was hanging out with some Jon guy that Brendon's never heard of before.
It was all spinning around in his head, and he didn't even hear the phone ring around eight thirty. John had to throw the phone at Brendon, to get his attention.
Brendon picked the phone up and he still felt as though he was in a faze. "Hello?"
"Hey Bren, its Ryan. Your, uh, your phone was shut off."
Brendon immediately came out of his daydream state and was back in reality once again because it was Ryan and he was on the phone. Which meant that he didnt' hate Brendon.
Brendon sat up, and tried to straighten his posture, as if Ryan could tell over the phone. "What's up? I haven't heard from you in a couple weeks."
There was a second silence, but Ryan immediately went into story mode. "Yeah, I know. It's just after that fight. I had to think about some things," he trailed off.
Brendon's heart thudded in his chest. He could feel time slow down, each breathe of Ryan's speech, slow down until it was just a buzzing in Brendon's ear.
It couldn't.
This wasn't happening.
He shook the thought out of his head. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was just having a shitty day and--"
"Hey man. Don't apologize. You made me see things that I wasn't seeing so clearly."
Brendon tried to keep a squeak from coming out of his mouth. This was happening. It was all coming out so nicely. Ryan was finally seeing what was in front of his face. "So, I heard you broke up with Staci," he said, as nonchalantly as he could.
Another beat. "Yeah. Just, it was hurting me more than it was helping me. And I'm kind of glad I did. Because now I can figure out my full potential and what I want to do with my life," he paused for a second before adding in "Relationship wise."
Brendon bit his lip. His life was perfect, and you had to go down low before you reached your high, right? That explained the last three weeks to a tee for Brendon.
But now everything was falling into place. "And what is it you want to do?"
Brendon held his breath, and he felt all of it leave his body within seconds.
Ryan took a breath and Brendon could feel him smiling from the other line. "I've realized that Staci isn't what I wanted. I found what I want, and I've kind of fallen in love with him."
Brendon felt all the hope leave his body. What. "Him?" he hoped he didn't give too much away in his voice.
But he fell in love with someone else?
"Yeah. I realized that it was in front of my face the entire time. And I was just too stupid to realize it. And now everything's going to be perfect."
Brendon swallowed down the bile that landed in his throat. He couldn't do anything; he wouldn't lose Ryan for weeks again. He was going to keep waiting.
He waited two years for Staci, and this was a step in the right direction. He was in love with a guy, so that was an easier transition to Brendon.
And he would not ruin this friendship. This friendship was all Brendon had. Ryan would realize that they were meant to be one day.
This was not that day.
He swallowed again, finally trusting himself to talk. "So we're cool?"
Ryan sighed. "Yes. It's just been a hectic three weeks. But don't worry, everything will be awesome after the concert."
Shit. Brendon forgot about that.
"You still want to go together?"
Ryan hissed in the other line. And this was totally not Brendon's day.
"Actually, Bren, is it cool if we just meet up there? I have something to do before or I'd go with you."
Brendon laid down in his bed just staring at the ceiling. He saw this as the first of many changes.
He still scoffed, just for good measure. "I don't care, it's no big deal."
They talked and chatted and everything fell back in place. It's kind of funny how three weeks could change everything and nothing at all.
He laughed and joked, even making Ryan cry with laughter a few times but the fact of the matter was, he was still pacing around the back of his mind.
He could still be Ryan's best friend, but the part of Brendon that was in love with him, couldn't stop thinking about everything.
He had a feeling this would be another sleepless night.
---
There was a long silence on the phone before Patrick started up again. "Or maybe I should wear the green one," he asked.
Patrick probably had roughly any hat he's ever purchased laying around his room. Or had them bought as gifts. Brendon knew that Patrick had offered to wear his fifth grade pirate hat.
Brendon just pretty much laid on his bed while Patrick decided what to wear to the concert. He mostly agreed and said "No, not that one," which Patrick would throw it to the side and berate himself because "Duh. Obviously not that one."
Brendon found the entire thing hilarious.
This would be one of Pete and Patrick's first gig's that wasn't in front of Brendon and Patrick's parents. Patrick still got stage fright, but Pete tried to be the frontman even if Patrick was singing.
They made a nice pair, even if they were singing folk. It was cool and all, but anyone who knew Patrick knew that he would want to do rock or something.
"I could just go nude," Patrick offered.
Brendon was barely paying attention when he agreed to it. The next thing he knew there was a bullhorn in his ear, making him jump up and hitting his head on the windowsill.
He grasped his head. "The fuck, man. I'm gonna have amnesia and it'll take me seven years to get my life back in order," Brendon complained.
He could hear Patrick roll his eyes over the phone. "Yeah, or you'll just have a bump on your head."
Brendon made a vague noise, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Patrick. Patrick was all set, he just needed a hat. Brendon didn't even know what to wear. He didn't even know if he was going to go or not.
"What? Of course you're going. You have to go," Patrick yelled immediately. "You're going if I have to drag you out of that bed myself,"
Brendon smiled. "I’m naked." he informed Patrick bluntly.
"Well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. At least me and you will match."
Brendon laughed, and alright, if Patrick went to the concert nude Brendon's year would be made. Naked Patrick plus pissed off Pete, was an evening full of both win and therapy.
"You should wear the bingo hat," Brendon decided for him.
There was some rustling on the other line, a few curse words, and then a winning "Aha!" before Patrick returned to the line.
Brendon smiled to himself. "Find it?"
"Yep. And nice choice by the way." Patrick rarely liked Brendon's fashion choices, so this moment needs to be commemorated and signed by Patrick that this really happened.
Which, he will deny next time Brendon brings it up.
Brendon sighs. "Now, if only I knew what to wear," he pretended to be looking for something, then sighed. "Nothing to wear, guess I'm not going," he pretended to be distraught.
Patrick snorted on the other line. "Dude, you have to go."
Brendon sat up and rolled his eyes, making sure his jeans weren't wrinkling. Pete and Patrick were being really weird about this concert. They were pretty adamant about Brendon being there.
Not like he would miss it for real, but that they would think he would. He's never missed one of their live gigs, but the idea that he'd skip out has never been in their heads
"Dude, I'm going. I say I'm not going almost every time. You and Pete need to stop freaking out," he told him.
Patrick laughed on the other side of the line and he just sounded weird, to Brendon.
He got off the phone with him and decided to actually get dressed. If Ryan wasn't going to be with him that meant that he could be as early as he liked.
That was one thing about Ryan; he liked to be punctually late to pretty much anything.
Brendon took one look in the mirror and made a conscious decision to look the best he's ever looked.
He pulled out some jeans, a t-shirt and he even took his eyeliner out of his secret place.
He was going to look so good.
---
It was actually a pretty big venue they were playing at. It wasn't the House of Blues or anything, but it was bigger than any of the local concerts Brendon's been to. Pete and Patrick were playing, some folk duo that Brendon's never heard of and then some power pop group. Brendon just came for Pete and Patrick's set but he didn't mind listening to new bands.
Brendon ran into some of Pete's friends on the floor. His teenaged friends. They were little fourteen year olds who thought Pete created the modern world, except for one. The littlest one always kicked him in the shins when he was up close. It was kind of hilarious. He was Brendon's favorite.
"Do you know the last band?" Brendon asked the one who wasn't yelling the 'We want Pete!' mantra.
He shrugged his shoulders and wasn't looking at anything in particular. "Not Pete, so they might be halfway decent."
Brendon laughed and took a swig of his water. Yes, water. Brendon might be alone, but he was still (mostly) straightedge. "Why do you hate Pete so much?" Jack opened his mouth to say something but Brendon interrupted him. "And you can't mention his hair, his shoes or his fashion sense."
That would be the first three things Brendon would say and Brendon generally liked Pete.
For a little fourteen year old, Jack could put a lot of hate in his glare, as he squinted at Pete who was setting up the stools and microphones. "I'm not an Alex," he grumbled.
Well...duh.
He growled. "Not like that. Because Assgarth likes to hang out with all Alex’s, he just bunches us up and calls us 'the Alex's'. I'm Jack, and he's a dumbass."
Brendon shook his head and silently laughed. Pete was kind of an asshole. No wonder Jack always kicked him. Brendon would have done the same. He rung up all the Alex's: Suarez, Gaskarth, DeLeon, Marshall and Johnson.
Jack was still grumbling but Brendon ignored him. He was one whiney, stubborn kid. "So, fuck Pete. You guys are now going to be called 'The Jack's', alright?"
There was a second before everyone started yelling at Brendon.
"No fair!" Marshall yelled.
"But, he's a minority," Gaskarth crossed his arms and muttered.
"You can't veto Pete Wentz!" DeLeon shouted triumphantly.
Suarez said something in Spanish that may or may not have been "Fuck you mother".
Brendon scowled and looked down at them, dancing a little in his head because he could actually do that. Jack stopped grumbling, so that was the only plus that came with this. "Hey, freshmen. I'm a senior, you're freshmen. What I say goes kay?" They started muttering to themselves and Brendon felt oddly victorious.
He was so going to enjoy this. He always wanted a group of freshman to shove around. He did notice Johnson didn't have a complaint. He shrugged. "Jack Johnson is cooler than Alex Johnson."
Brendon laughed harder at that. "Jacks! Go to the front row and save me a seat," he commanded them. They all grumbled but Jack kicked them until they moved. Brendon handed Marshall his cup, and they marched.
Brendon turned around to get another cup but he was met with Ryan's brown eyes. He was sporting a little smirk, making Brendon smile wider.
Ryan was looking good. He couldn't tell if it was because he hadn't seen Ryan in a few days or the surroundings but he was looking especially hot.
"Did you just rename a group of freshmen?" he asked, his lips curving up.
Brendon turned around to look at them pushing and shoving at each other. He took a giant breath and felt like a proud parent. "Yep. They're pretty cool kids and now they're all mine."
Ryan snorted and rolled his eyes. "Pete's going to kill you for stealing his kids."
Brendon raised his finger in counterpoint to Ryan. "On the contrary. The Alexes were his kids. My kids are the Jacks. And if Pete's going to kill me, he's going to kill you too."
Ryan's smile faltered and his eyes turned into saucers. "Me? Don't get me involved with your stolen children."
Brendon scoffed. "Totally like a man. Once there's kids involved, the men bow out."
Ryan punched him in the shoulder. Brendon squawked and held his bruised arm. "Domestic violence!" he yelped. "See, you're treating me like a real baby mama now." He told him cheekily.
Ryan rolled his eyes and covered Brendon's mouth with his hand. "Shut. Up. Christ, people are gonna think I'm really beating you," he shook his head, but his eyes were filled with laughter. "Besides, I treat my women right."
Brendon didn't question it. He was more focused on Ryan's hand covering his mouth. It felt nice and Ryan was smiling at him like he hadn't in months. His thoughts headed straight to the why behind the smile but cut it off as soon as it was halfway there.
There was some feedback on the microphone and Ryan whipped his head around. "Dr. Ross. Paging Dr. Ross. You're needed in the pussy department."
Ryan dropped his hand and groaned. "Take as many kids as you want. Hell, take Patrick away from him. Please."
Brendon blanched. "No thanks. Patrick's not really my type," he said sourly.
Ryan was staring at his face, almost with an affectionate smile. It was kind of freaky.
He made thumbs towards the stage. "Well I gotta go," he trailed off.
Brendon's head popped up. "You're performing?
He just nodded and...fluttered? He fluttered off to the stage. Then he was standing next to some bearded guy and talk about going from one polar opposite to another.
Cheerleader to lumberjack, and Brendon was probably in the middle of that. Brendon got another glass of water and stopped for a minute.
Brendon sighed and became his happy go lucky self, before he went to find the...The Jacks.
That was going to take sometime to get used to, even if he did make it up himself. He stood in front of the stage in between Jack (Marshall) and Jack (Suarez). Suarez gave him a look before he inspected his water. He sniffed it and looked disappointed at Brendon's beverage choice.
"I'd get wasted if I could," he simply said before Pete and Patrick took the stage. Brendon simultaneously clapped for Patrick and booed for Pete.
Pete glared at him and stood up to the mic to greet the crowd. He introduced the name of the band which changed from "Beastiality" to "Kidding, kidding. We’re Pete and the Lunch ladies" to a "Fuck, don't kick me, Trick! We're...whatever you want. It's a choose your own adventure," before they went into their first song.
The first song was one Brendon's heard seen time but it was still way better live. From what he's heard from Pete it's about Patrick's dog. Which, yeah okay. Brendon believes that. The "movie" he talks about is totally about Patrick's dog.
They finished and the crowd clapped, not overly impressed but Patrick would win them over by the end. That's what they did. Pete would piss everyone off by being a douche and Patrick's voice brought them back in.
"So, what do you think? Any names?" Pete asked the crowd.
"Queer!" Jack, the real one, shouted, cupping his hands over his mouth to amplify the noise.
Pete shot him a glare. "Fuck off, Barakat." he threatened, still smiling.
Brendon bit his lip and took action. "Patrick and the Tool shed!" he yelled. He had to at least throw some ideas out there.
"Urie, what are you doing with my Alex's? Are you turning Jackie against me?" Pete questioned before Patrick whispered in his ear. He wasn’t' really looking at anything, just staring out in the crowd. HE turned to look at Patrick, then back at Brendon. "You stole them and renamed them?!"
Brendon smiled smugly, but didn't answer. Pete and Patrick went on from the set, but not without he making jabs at Brendon every chance he could get. Brendon was used to it.
The set went smoothly and they eventually got more of a crowd going by the time they left the stage. Before they left, of course, Pete had a final message. "To any A and R out there...sign us!"
Pete came down and tried to molest the Jacks but Patrick eventually stopped him. Which Brendon thought was funny. Pete was so obediant to Patrick that it was laughable.
The other set, band thing was setting up and by the looks of it, and Ryan was up next. Ryan and this Jon guy.
Then Brendon noticed there were some misplaced children.
"Where'd Jack and...Jack go?"
DeLeon pointed to the left wing. "They're setting up. They're playing after Ross."
Brendon turned to look at him. "How do you know Ross?" he asked.
DeLeon turned to look at him like he suddenly grew two heads. Then he looked over Brendon shoulder and shrugged. Brendon turned to look and Pete was shaking his head until he noticed Brendon there. He just transitioned into a smile.
He stared at Pete a few seconds longer before Ryan was on. He cheered and wolf whistled as loud as he could.
There were also two stools, and it was just Ryan and Jon. Ryan seemed jittery, he didn't know if it was nervous energy or what, but he looked deathly afraid.
Ryan wasn't one for segways, so he pretty much named the song and played it, with Jon playing the bass. The first song was really sweet. He didn't know what the words were but the tone was a really happy song.
The second song went from happy plucking into a depressing guitar solo. That song broke Brendon's heart a little bit.
The lyrics were easy enough to figure it out. That song was about Staci, and how it didn't work, but he found something better.
Brendon gulped; he didn't like the message that these songs were sending. They were probably all about Jon, and Brendon didn't know how to react to that. It hurt, but it was better than love songs about Staci, right?
Ryan fidgeted with the microphone stand until it was right at his mouth's level.
"Hey folks, we wanted to play a few covers for you if that's alright. This one, we didn't really know we were playing until a few minutes ago. Hope you enjoy it's called "Stay Together for the Kids" by Blink-182."
Brendon was kind of confused. He knew Ryan loved, that was an understatement, Blink, but that song? There were a bunch of different songs, and why choose that one?
But Ryan sang pretty well. He had this unique sound to it, especially with Jon's voice intertwining with it.
It went from the end of that song to a Queen song. Ryan smiled out in the audience. "And this song's for someone really special to me," he addressed the crowd and he started to sing.
Brendon tried to swallow his heart down. This hurt more than it should. Queen was one of Brendon's favorite bands, this was one of Brendon's favorite songs by them and Ryan was singing it to someone else.
He tried to stay inside as long as he could. He knew if he left he wouldn't come back, and he wanted to see Jack and Alex's band.
It went into the second verse, and God, why was this song so long? At one certain line, Ryan and Jon's gaze met and Ryan smiled. That was when Brendon couldn't take it anymore. He turned on his heel and tried to make it past the giant crowd of people.
They made it hard because they were pushing forward, while Brendon was trying to go back. It wasn't an easy concept. Brendon felt like a salmon trying to go upstream. Brendon was the salmon, the crowd was the stream and Ryan's voice was the grizzly eating him whole.
He eventually made it outside and the fresh air would do him some good.
He couldn't believe Ryan would do that. It wasn't like he did that intentionally but what were the odds that Ryan would sing one of Brendon's favorite bands to some other person?
There was silence.
It just didn't make sense. He didn't know if it was rude to walk out of his best friends gig, but he really didn't care. He was hurt, and who knew that music could hurt so bad.
This felt worse than if Ryan stood up there and shouted "Brendon, I'll never love you, but I'll always love Jon."
That would have hurt a hell of a lot less.
He didn't know how long he stood out there, but it was kind of cold but he made no move to go inside the venue.
Eventually the door opened and Ryan found him.
"Hey Bren, I was looking all over for you," he sighed, relieved.
Brendon didn't acknowledge him but Ryan stood on the side of the building with him.
"Did you like our set? Turns out that Jon teaches guitar, so I've been taking some more lessons. That's why I've been so busy this last month. I just wanted this gig to be perfect," Ryan kept chattering away and Brendon just sat there. Silent.
He felt like he was in a bad remake of a Jay and Silent Bob movie. Maybe this was why Bob was always quiet. Jay didn't know how much music meant to him and rubbed it in his face.
He felt a need to say something. Anything. It felt awkward and he didnt' want it to. And Brendon never liked being quiet.
"I'm glad you found someone like Jon," Brendon blurted out.
Ryan stopped talking mid-sentence and his smile slowly fell. It looked like a piece of snow that was falling off your window because it was melting, until it was a pile of water on your driveway. "What?"
Brendon shoved his hands in his pocket. He turned away from Ryan and took a deep breath. "I'm glad you found a guy like Jon to make you happy." He said with a shrug. He turned to face Ryan.
Ryan was giving him the same look like DeLeon was. He absently felt his shoulder to see if it was true. Nope, just a plain old shoulder.
He didn't really understand why everyone was looking at him weird, though.
Ryan was still staring at him and he didn't understand why. Brendon shifted under Ryan's scrutinizing eyes. He felt naked.
"You're glad... that I'm happy with Jon?" Ryan asked, sounding quieter than he had ever. Even after run ins with his dad, and when his old best friend Spencer called after years of no contact.
Brendon bit his lip. He could do this.
He turned to look at Ryan. "Yeah, I'm glad you found someone to treat you good." He smiled, but somehow he felt as if Ryan knew it was fake.
Ryan was just looking at him, his features softening. He just kept staring and staring. Brendon opened his mouth to ask if there was something on his face, but Ryan smiled. Barely.
"Why do you have to be so dense?" he whispered. Brendon wasn't sure if it was even out loud or he imagined it.
He was confused, and Ryan took a step closer to him. "I am not dense," he countered. And this all felt familiar. This scene...
Ryan was standing in front of him, his right hand ghosting right by Brendon's hip. "Why can't you see what's right in front of your face," he asked, somehow louder. His hand was covering Brendon's cheek and suddenly a similar conversation came into play.
Brendon smiled. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew for a fact that they've had this same exact conversation once before. "You're a dork."
Ryan smiled and leaned in closer, and closer. "And you're an idiot." he said. Brendon almost took offense to that, but Ryan's lips were so close to his. And he was giving Brendon the look like he'd always been waiting for. "Like I could have someone like Jon when I have someone like you," his breath ghosted over Brendon's lips "Always here. Always waiting. Meant for me."
Brendon gasped because the words took him by surprise. Then Ryan's lips touched his, and Brendon's mouth closed and he leaned forward, bracing himself against Ryan.
Ryan leaned back and opened his eyes. His fingers were playing with Brendon's bottom lip. "It was always you," he whispered. "It was always you I loved, I just didn't," he was cut off this time by Brendon kissing him.
Brendon lifted his hand to hold the back of Ryan's head softly. Ryan leaned forward, and blocked Brendon to the building. The love word was out in the open; Ryan's lips were on his, and this. This was what was meant to be.
Suddenly a thought bubbled on Brendon's tongue and he broke the kiss. Ryan's eyes fluttered open, but he looked mildly confused.
"So the song was about me?" He asked.
Ryan groaned, and just shoved Brendon back to the wall and kissed him.
Brendon shifted his body, and held Ryan closer. He was pretty sure the song was for him.
fin
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