"I feel pretty. Oh so pretty..." Or do I?
I have a request for those in charge of the skin care industry. I’m a major customer of their products, so maybe they’ll listen to me, eh? Oh, wait, I have two requests…the first one is pretty easy….can they get rid of the term ‘anti-aging’ in relation to their products? We can all look our best at any age…..but, we can’t stop aging. That keeps on keeping on, no matter what...there is no point in being 'anti' aging. I get that. So, when I buy a product with ‘Anti-aging’ plastered across the front of it, I’m actually embarrassed when it rolls down the register belt, as if the cashier is thinking I’m a stupid woman, who thinks she can turn back the clock with this product….or that the cashier is staring back and forth between the box and my face thinking, “Oh Honey, what a waste of money….this aint doin’ a thing….maybe you should save all this money for a trip to the plastic surgeon, Sweetie.” There are tons of brilliant people in the cosmetic industry….can’t they figure out a better term?
My second request is a little harder and a little vainer. Can they come up with a product that can ‘tighten up’ elbows? This subject hit my brain almost a year ago, when I was sitting in the house of my brother-in-law and his lovely wife. My five year old nephew, Grayson, stopped mid-story and pointed at my elbow. “What’s that?” says he. I twisted my arm around and stared at my wrinkly elbow. “Uh…my elbow.” He leaned closer. “Did you hurt your elbow? I think your elbow is hurt.” I gave him a reassuring smile. “Nope, that’s just the way my elbow normally looks. So…” redirecting him back to his story…”what happened when you took your brother’s transformer?” Grayson looked sideways at his younger sister, who glared back….because even at the tender age of three years…a woman knows not to point out another woman’s foibles. The rest of the time I spent around Grayson, I kept my arms bent to avoid unsightly elbow wrinkles. Anyway, everyday, I slather my body with so many serums, moisturizers, creams and lotions that the sun would have to be damned determined to reach my actual skin. My skin is collagened, retinoled, and salicylic acided….but, there is nothing that seems to help tighten my saggy elbows. Forget the neck or the hands….the elbow is actually the body part that shows a woman’s true age. Please, skin care industry, help a grandma out. I’m scaring the youngsters.
And for anyone, who is currently making plans to check out my elbows next time they see me?....be forewarned that said elbow will, at that point, become a weapon aimed at one of your tender body parts. And, trust me....my elbows may be wrinkly, but they are also lethal weapons.
My second request is a little harder and a little vainer. Can they come up with a product that can ‘tighten up’ elbows? This subject hit my brain almost a year ago, when I was sitting in the house of my brother-in-law and his lovely wife. My five year old nephew, Grayson, stopped mid-story and pointed at my elbow. “What’s that?” says he. I twisted my arm around and stared at my wrinkly elbow. “Uh…my elbow.” He leaned closer. “Did you hurt your elbow? I think your elbow is hurt.” I gave him a reassuring smile. “Nope, that’s just the way my elbow normally looks. So…” redirecting him back to his story…”what happened when you took your brother’s transformer?” Grayson looked sideways at his younger sister, who glared back….because even at the tender age of three years…a woman knows not to point out another woman’s foibles. The rest of the time I spent around Grayson, I kept my arms bent to avoid unsightly elbow wrinkles. Anyway, everyday, I slather my body with so many serums, moisturizers, creams and lotions that the sun would have to be damned determined to reach my actual skin. My skin is collagened, retinoled, and salicylic acided….but, there is nothing that seems to help tighten my saggy elbows. Forget the neck or the hands….the elbow is actually the body part that shows a woman’s true age. Please, skin care industry, help a grandma out. I’m scaring the youngsters.
And for anyone, who is currently making plans to check out my elbows next time they see me?....be forewarned that said elbow will, at that point, become a weapon aimed at one of your tender body parts. And, trust me....my elbows may be wrinkly, but they are also lethal weapons.