Thanksgiving week
Well, it kinda sucked to be honest. A lot happened though, which is weird. My heart just hasn't been here for a while. Its not that I feel lonely or anything, just not happy. Seventeen years since I haven't had a Thanksgiving with my mother. I wanted to call her, but I don't know where she is. I don't know where she could of gone since I have left. But I am afraid to speak to her........Anyway, for Christmas I am going to go to Laredo to get my mind clear of a couple of things that were left unanswered and hopefully return back here. Thats something that bothers me, if I ask my dad if I can go see my family he asks if I will come back? Now if that occurs, I don't know if I would. I don't have anything going for me here. Sure I have friends and family, don't get me wrong it really means a lot to me, but maybe this might be the right thing to do, ya know. I am doing my best to keep a smile on my face, but it is fading away pretty quickly. I'm tired of smiling, what good does it do? It just prevents people from really seeing how you feel. Why should I wear this mask of happiness when all I feel is sorrow? Maybe I should just stop whining or something. Forget it, whatever I just put probably isn't important anyway. I will just try to make through the week and the rest of the semester and maybe things will get better for me who knows. Maybe tomorrow I will get my big break or maybe the day before I leave, nobody knows. Nonetheless, to whoever reads this, goodnight and sweetdreams.