Is it just me?
Well, I just don't quite get this whole woman thing. I mean I deserve to have a nice relationship, one with someone I find attractive and with whom I like. Why can't I have a healthy or semi-healthy relationship
So here is what has transpired over the past week.
1) I started working the new job on Wednesday, and I really kinda like it. It is easy work and it does give the oppertunity to work with others -- I mean what else am I going to say when I am watching someone else pee?
2) On Tuesday afternoon I called OH like I usually do, and she told me "We have to talk" -- It was not one of those 'I have something that will make you laugh' or 'you will never guess what happened to me.... It was one of those 'there is something going on and we have to talk' which in relationship speak means 'lets talk about us and where we are going'. I could not talk with her at that time as I was doing my last removal for the embalming service (which on a side note has not completely left my life) and was unable to run right over to her house and talk. So, I called Wednesday and Thursday and go no answer.
So, on Friday at noon, I goto an NA meeting that is right next to where she works (she works at OCARTA, and OCARTA owns the meeting room) for a meeting, I got there late, and left early so I could be back to work at 1pm. She decides to text me with something to the effect of "you can't even stop in and say hello" Now, this kind of pisses me off since she has made NO attempt to contact me the previous two days. I call her on my afternoon break where she asks me if I am not wanting to see her anymore (which is not the fact, I just can't seem to see the fact that I am supposed to be the only one calling, and with her not calling me, it makes me wonder what the hell is going on anyway). Anyway, I tell her that I will be back at the 630 NA meeting that meets at the same spot on Friday nights.
We end up standing outside of her office talking. It seems that she IS NOT ready to make a committment, even though she is the one to initiate it. I just don't understand. When we left off, we decided to continue on as we were minus the sex, which is not that big of a deal -- not that I don't like to have sex, but it is not the primary reason I want to see OH, it is a bonus. As we left it, we were still "boyfriend and girlfriend". There are several reasons on her part that I am not going to mention because it is really not important to this conversation. Lets just say that, understandable so, she has some issues with committment. And she assured me that it has nothing to do with me, granted, we all know what she is probably saying,,, but again, that is only me trying to devine what she is thinking. I am not very good at that.
3) So tonight I goto a 6pm meeting. This is after I spent a wonderful day with Mia in Seminole. She called me earlier today and told me that she had plans tonight with a friend of her's. At 620pm, she comes sauntering in the meeting and was suprised to see me there. Anyway, it turns out that she and I were going to get something to eat, and we did, along with her son. On the ride to the resteraunt, her son asks if we were still "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" and OH was very clear in no uncertian terms, that we ARE NOT, but rather we are just seeing each other with the option to do our own thing. What the FUCK?
I guess I just don't understand the way she thinks. I also probably need to find out what the fuck has happened since Friday (almost 24 hours from the time we had the conversation).
I am so frustrated. I am not really sad, I am not pissed, but rather I am bamboozled.
They are calling colors tomorrow, so I am going to be collecting piss tomorrow. For those who do not understand what that means see here.
I am trying to work out a deal with the emblaming service to work on the new ME contract on a 24 hour shift every weekend. I will explain more as more develops there, but I did express that to the boss there.
So here is what has transpired over the past week.
1) I started working the new job on Wednesday, and I really kinda like it. It is easy work and it does give the oppertunity to work with others -- I mean what else am I going to say when I am watching someone else pee?
2) On Tuesday afternoon I called OH like I usually do, and she told me "We have to talk" -- It was not one of those 'I have something that will make you laugh' or 'you will never guess what happened to me.... It was one of those 'there is something going on and we have to talk' which in relationship speak means 'lets talk about us and where we are going'. I could not talk with her at that time as I was doing my last removal for the embalming service (which on a side note has not completely left my life) and was unable to run right over to her house and talk. So, I called Wednesday and Thursday and go no answer.
So, on Friday at noon, I goto an NA meeting that is right next to where she works (she works at OCARTA, and OCARTA owns the meeting room) for a meeting, I got there late, and left early so I could be back to work at 1pm. She decides to text me with something to the effect of "you can't even stop in and say hello" Now, this kind of pisses me off since she has made NO attempt to contact me the previous two days. I call her on my afternoon break where she asks me if I am not wanting to see her anymore (which is not the fact, I just can't seem to see the fact that I am supposed to be the only one calling, and with her not calling me, it makes me wonder what the hell is going on anyway). Anyway, I tell her that I will be back at the 630 NA meeting that meets at the same spot on Friday nights.
We end up standing outside of her office talking. It seems that she IS NOT ready to make a committment, even though she is the one to initiate it. I just don't understand. When we left off, we decided to continue on as we were minus the sex, which is not that big of a deal -- not that I don't like to have sex, but it is not the primary reason I want to see OH, it is a bonus. As we left it, we were still "boyfriend and girlfriend". There are several reasons on her part that I am not going to mention because it is really not important to this conversation. Lets just say that, understandable so, she has some issues with committment. And she assured me that it has nothing to do with me, granted, we all know what she is probably saying,,, but again, that is only me trying to devine what she is thinking. I am not very good at that.
3) So tonight I goto a 6pm meeting. This is after I spent a wonderful day with Mia in Seminole. She called me earlier today and told me that she had plans tonight with a friend of her's. At 620pm, she comes sauntering in the meeting and was suprised to see me there. Anyway, it turns out that she and I were going to get something to eat, and we did, along with her son. On the ride to the resteraunt, her son asks if we were still "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" and OH was very clear in no uncertian terms, that we ARE NOT, but rather we are just seeing each other with the option to do our own thing. What the FUCK?
I guess I just don't understand the way she thinks. I also probably need to find out what the fuck has happened since Friday (almost 24 hours from the time we had the conversation).
I am so frustrated. I am not really sad, I am not pissed, but rather I am bamboozled.
They are calling colors tomorrow, so I am going to be collecting piss tomorrow. For those who do not understand what that means see here.
I am trying to work out a deal with the emblaming service to work on the new ME contract on a 24 hour shift every weekend. I will explain more as more develops there, but I did express that to the boss there.