dangerous thing
it feels like i am asking the same question every night. I have to have a different issue every night with one person or another, it keeps me awake I guess. I would like to say that people create their own drama, but sometimes it's hard to please everyone. Well it's always hard to please everyone. I need to stop asking for advice because I always hate the answer or do what i want to anyway, and people are insulted. It's hard to convince people that what they're doing is wrong when you weren't there for everything. I guess that's part of being independent.
Felt soo good to see a band again. LUCERO I love that group. and swhwing i got a half price tshirt and a free sticker! The whole smell of a concert, just feels right. All of these people excited and accidently bonded about the same thing. Everyone sings together, no need to talk, and you can make an ass out of yourself, because no one knows you. Everyone's just there to chill and have a good time, good place to be. But where there's teenager's, there's drama... yuck i hate starting shit. Why would you think I would go that out of my way just to hurt you? I hate that I feel like I should feel guilty about what I do. I might be acting like a total bitch, but I can't watch my shoulder forever hoping that someone isn't seeing something they wouldn't like. I told you it would be like this. You'll move on, like people do. One day I'll be a "O yeah, Stevie, I remember her..." Believe it or not, I feel like shit doing this, but in the end, people tend to watch out for themselves. yeah, you can call me a selfish whore now.
I'm sorry im going to miss wren ward in LR, but i hope you have fun with the fams and scroggins.
g2g to chemistry for the first time all week... =( to go with the lucero theme, i leave the song:
life is short
despite of your plans
so tell the girls they're pretty while you can
'cause one day they're gone
and all you got left
some empty bottles and an old country song
plays on and on
i wasted my time
with these cigarettes
and these ashes are all i got left
watch this old town
nothing's left for me
wash downstream
and into the sea
because this big old river
will kill us in time
'till then we'll drink it's weight
in cheap beer and wine
we can drink just as fast
as the river is strong
and we'll drink 'till we're gone
I started thinking in chemistry, i sat next to this guy who obviously had anxiety disorders or something. I couldnt help but be scared or nervous of him. He kept talking out loud and asking me questions real loud, and i was kind of embarrased. Then, I started to feel really normal. that I was part of the crowd, that I wasn't as different as I thought I was. I might feel weird in a group of fraternity people, or the "popular" crowd, but I'm sure that guy in chemistry class wishes he could be even noticed by those people or that he could feel normal around anyone. that he could be as normal as them, and hold himself together. Despite what anyone says, everyone wants to be popular, well liked. It raises the esteem, despite whether you follow mainstream or not. It's our want for other people's approval. No one is totally immune to it. The way we act is so much simplier than it seems. We all follow about the same format, have the same wants and needs, just in different styles. i wonder sometimes why i act the way i act.. do i do it on purpose, like I think my personality appeals to the majority of people so i will play it. I can tell that my personality, my style, my attitude, all changes according to the people I am around. I adapt. I don't know if that's bad, or if everyone does it, like no one can help it. At a concert, we have the need to be punk, or rebellious, at church camp, we act more religious or open to God, at a family reunion, we feel the need to make the impression that everything is fine, whether this be with school, or boyfriends. When a relative asks you how everything is, you always answer "everythings great. school is good. i love my friends there. yeah im never lonely. oo,boys are great. yeah it's great having guys everywhere. yeah they're totally just falling all over me and they're such gentlemen, it's so much fun! yeah im keeping up with my grades though. I always go to class, and my policy is no partying on the weekdays. Im going to study physical therapy yeah, yeah. so im excited. no no problems whatsoever. everything is completely great. dont worry. i am carefree. O you like my sweater and kackies? thanks!" At least they care to ask though, or at least act like they care. A family's good to have, they dont typically turn their backs on you. anywho, when im around preppy people i can act like im interested in why brad and jen broke up. Common interests... it's all about common interests. Find some common interest with people, and you're typically on their good side. I wish i was ignorant. back to school.
Felt soo good to see a band again. LUCERO I love that group. and swhwing i got a half price tshirt and a free sticker! The whole smell of a concert, just feels right. All of these people excited and accidently bonded about the same thing. Everyone sings together, no need to talk, and you can make an ass out of yourself, because no one knows you. Everyone's just there to chill and have a good time, good place to be. But where there's teenager's, there's drama... yuck i hate starting shit. Why would you think I would go that out of my way just to hurt you? I hate that I feel like I should feel guilty about what I do. I might be acting like a total bitch, but I can't watch my shoulder forever hoping that someone isn't seeing something they wouldn't like. I told you it would be like this. You'll move on, like people do. One day I'll be a "O yeah, Stevie, I remember her..." Believe it or not, I feel like shit doing this, but in the end, people tend to watch out for themselves. yeah, you can call me a selfish whore now.
I'm sorry im going to miss wren ward in LR, but i hope you have fun with the fams and scroggins.
g2g to chemistry for the first time all week... =( to go with the lucero theme, i leave the song:
life is short
despite of your plans
so tell the girls they're pretty while you can
'cause one day they're gone
and all you got left
some empty bottles and an old country song
plays on and on
i wasted my time
with these cigarettes
and these ashes are all i got left
watch this old town
nothing's left for me
wash downstream
and into the sea
because this big old river
will kill us in time
'till then we'll drink it's weight
in cheap beer and wine
we can drink just as fast
as the river is strong
and we'll drink 'till we're gone
I started thinking in chemistry, i sat next to this guy who obviously had anxiety disorders or something. I couldnt help but be scared or nervous of him. He kept talking out loud and asking me questions real loud, and i was kind of embarrased. Then, I started to feel really normal. that I was part of the crowd, that I wasn't as different as I thought I was. I might feel weird in a group of fraternity people, or the "popular" crowd, but I'm sure that guy in chemistry class wishes he could be even noticed by those people or that he could feel normal around anyone. that he could be as normal as them, and hold himself together. Despite what anyone says, everyone wants to be popular, well liked. It raises the esteem, despite whether you follow mainstream or not. It's our want for other people's approval. No one is totally immune to it. The way we act is so much simplier than it seems. We all follow about the same format, have the same wants and needs, just in different styles. i wonder sometimes why i act the way i act.. do i do it on purpose, like I think my personality appeals to the majority of people so i will play it. I can tell that my personality, my style, my attitude, all changes according to the people I am around. I adapt. I don't know if that's bad, or if everyone does it, like no one can help it. At a concert, we have the need to be punk, or rebellious, at church camp, we act more religious or open to God, at a family reunion, we feel the need to make the impression that everything is fine, whether this be with school, or boyfriends. When a relative asks you how everything is, you always answer "everythings great. school is good. i love my friends there. yeah im never lonely. oo,boys are great. yeah it's great having guys everywhere. yeah they're totally just falling all over me and they're such gentlemen, it's so much fun! yeah im keeping up with my grades though. I always go to class, and my policy is no partying on the weekdays. Im going to study physical therapy yeah, yeah. so im excited. no no problems whatsoever. everything is completely great. dont worry. i am carefree. O you like my sweater and kackies? thanks!" At least they care to ask though, or at least act like they care. A family's good to have, they dont typically turn their backs on you. anywho, when im around preppy people i can act like im interested in why brad and jen broke up. Common interests... it's all about common interests. Find some common interest with people, and you're typically on their good side. I wish i was ignorant. back to school.