Women. Odd.
Thinking about things, probably too much.
How come.. it does appear to be 'open season' on Steve, but I just can't do all this dating crap. I hate the whole atmosphere of being with someone you've barely met, and being expected to be all 'you'. It's absolute arse, I'd rather have my lips removed with a vinegar-soaked bread knife.
For some reason, everybody bangs on about how nice I am, and what a 'great person' I am, and how they really value me, and how I'm apparantly good-looking, and make people feel so special... and I'm fucking single! Most bizarre. Not a reference to one person in particular, just generally.
I've got a theory on this, I don't think it's true. What I do believe is that I'm a good friend, I always try to be. You can't choose the way you look, the way you act, the way you feel, or the way you look, but you *CAN* choose your friends, so I reckon it's a pretty honoured thing to be a friend to someone.
My theory is that as I'm a good friend (or I hope I am), friends feel honour-bound to try and raise me up a little, and to be honest, it's more harm than good. I'd always rather hear the truth, it's never bothered me, and never will. Probably not right, but it's something to think about.
And girls... what's the score? I just don't get it. Sound odd? Okay, to give you an example of the girl weirdness that surrounds me :
Case Study 1.
A nice lass who shall remain nameless was all over me one night, and I was likewise, extremely over-friendly, and flirting to the point of sheer ridiculousness. She goes home at the end of the night, and as I have the unnerving knack of listening to two conversations at once, I hear her and her mate 'so are you gonna go out with Ste?' 'I've tried, but it's no good, he's just not interested' ... What! I couldn't have been more obvious if I'd have whipped it out and bonked her on the pool table.
Case Study 2.
Sitting curled up with (lets call her Kay) Kay on her couch watching TV one night, sort of doing a bit of the stroking thing, and I get 'You're wonderful, you're so cute, so good to talk to, and so gentle, I wish I had someone like you'. At this point my eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling, and it took all my restraint not to accuse her of being David Blunkett's blinder lovechild.. How 'You can have me' do you want me to be? Jesus Christ!'
Case Study 3.
Dropped a girl off the other night, she proceeds to keep me talking for ages, keeps touching me, hugging me, being incredibly 'friendly', and then asks me out. So I sort of go 'err, great yeah (As I wouldn't say no, she's seriously cute)' and we arrange to go out, and she leaves with the promise of ringing me to sort it out. Next day at 7, I get a text message off her mate telling me that she can't come out. A text message. Off her mate. Well thanks for that one... Why bother asking if you're going to pull shit like that?
Women.
I'll never understand 'em.
*DISCLAIMER*
Warning, grumpiness may be catching. Steve holds no liability for grumpiness caught by this post by any persons, living or dead, although the dead have a right to be grumpy. It must suck. Any confusion about the female gender, and whether you're included in my scathing definitions should be directed to georgewbush@whitehouse.gov. Dubya has the answers. And he's not grumpy. Just stupid.
How come.. it does appear to be 'open season' on Steve, but I just can't do all this dating crap. I hate the whole atmosphere of being with someone you've barely met, and being expected to be all 'you'. It's absolute arse, I'd rather have my lips removed with a vinegar-soaked bread knife.
For some reason, everybody bangs on about how nice I am, and what a 'great person' I am, and how they really value me, and how I'm apparantly good-looking, and make people feel so special... and I'm fucking single! Most bizarre. Not a reference to one person in particular, just generally.
I've got a theory on this, I don't think it's true. What I do believe is that I'm a good friend, I always try to be. You can't choose the way you look, the way you act, the way you feel, or the way you look, but you *CAN* choose your friends, so I reckon it's a pretty honoured thing to be a friend to someone.
My theory is that as I'm a good friend (or I hope I am), friends feel honour-bound to try and raise me up a little, and to be honest, it's more harm than good. I'd always rather hear the truth, it's never bothered me, and never will. Probably not right, but it's something to think about.
And girls... what's the score? I just don't get it. Sound odd? Okay, to give you an example of the girl weirdness that surrounds me :
Case Study 1.
A nice lass who shall remain nameless was all over me one night, and I was likewise, extremely over-friendly, and flirting to the point of sheer ridiculousness. She goes home at the end of the night, and as I have the unnerving knack of listening to two conversations at once, I hear her and her mate 'so are you gonna go out with Ste?' 'I've tried, but it's no good, he's just not interested' ... What! I couldn't have been more obvious if I'd have whipped it out and bonked her on the pool table.
Case Study 2.
Sitting curled up with (lets call her Kay) Kay on her couch watching TV one night, sort of doing a bit of the stroking thing, and I get 'You're wonderful, you're so cute, so good to talk to, and so gentle, I wish I had someone like you'. At this point my eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling, and it took all my restraint not to accuse her of being David Blunkett's blinder lovechild.. How 'You can have me' do you want me to be? Jesus Christ!'
Case Study 3.
Dropped a girl off the other night, she proceeds to keep me talking for ages, keeps touching me, hugging me, being incredibly 'friendly', and then asks me out. So I sort of go 'err, great yeah (As I wouldn't say no, she's seriously cute)' and we arrange to go out, and she leaves with the promise of ringing me to sort it out. Next day at 7, I get a text message off her mate telling me that she can't come out. A text message. Off her mate. Well thanks for that one... Why bother asking if you're going to pull shit like that?
Women.
I'll never understand 'em.
*DISCLAIMER*
Warning, grumpiness may be catching. Steve holds no liability for grumpiness caught by this post by any persons, living or dead, although the dead have a right to be grumpy. It must suck. Any confusion about the female gender, and whether you're included in my scathing definitions should be directed to georgewbush@whitehouse.gov. Dubya has the answers. And he's not grumpy. Just stupid.