OOOOOHHH MY LIFE ROCKS!
YOU GUYS YOU GUYS!!
MY TICKETS CAME, YOU GUYS!!
THIS IS UNENDINGLY EXCITING!
*flails & melts into a squee-puddle*
Mum & I were singing & dancing around to "Message to Myself" making dinner (mostly I was just dancing, she did a couple shimmy things "from her youth", though). XD She's excited too... not as excited as I am, perhaps, but I don't think you could be more excited than I am without exploding something vital in your internal organs.
Now on to Sterling's patented Amusing Conversations(tm)!
Dad: "Your tickets came for that singer."
Me: "AHHH!" *rips open envelope* "AHHH! Melissa Etheridge tickets!! AAAHHHH!"
Dad: "Did you get screwed?"
Me: *calm again* "Uhh, I think the seats are OK, actually. Holy christ on a cracker they mark 'em up, though. But yeah. I got screwed a little bit on the money, which I kinda expected. Not too bad on the seats. I got screwed, but they gave me back my pants at the end of the night, you know?"
Dad: "Well that's good - now you'll just have to make sure you're not behind a post."
Me: "It's a rock n roll show, though, so everyone's going to be standing anyways... It's not the Oakridge Boys."
Dad: "That'll be the thing you'll have to worry about - everybody starts jumping around on that balcony, it's liable to give out on ya."
Mum: *completely sure of herself* "I'll just ask them all to sit down if it starts to get shaky."
Me: "............ Uh, mum? Do you really think you're going to be able to get a thousand, maybe two thousand people at a rock concert to sit down by asking them nicely?"
Mum: "Oh. Well, umm... Maybe your dad should come, you know, to protect us."
Dad: "There's not going to be anyone there to protect you from. If I went, I'd just get a bunch of women in short hair and leather telling me to bugger off all night."
Me: "Maybe you'd *better* come, then - to protect Mum's honour. Hordes of horny lesbians at a Melissa Etheridge show! Mum might be overcome! She'll get picked up by some Toronto sugar mama! And then WHO WILL COOK YOU DINNER?"
Dad: "Oh, shut up."
Mum: "I could still cook him dinner."
Me: *cracks up*
(Later on.)
Mum: "This is going to sound like a stupid question, but... umm... How are we going to tell which ones are the lesbians? I mean, like, I know how to tell the REAL lesbians, like the old fashioned kind, but it seems like there's all kinds of new lesbians. I don't want to insult anyone."
Me: *boggles at the concept of the "old fashioned kind" of lesbian, finally recovers enough to answer the question* "Don't worry, Mum. The recruiters all have t-shirts."
Mum: *still looks confused* "Oh, umm.. OK."
*few minutes later*
Mum: "What would the t-shirts say, exactly? Like, "Sign Up Now, Free magazine subscription," like at the horse shows?"
Me: *can no longer control laughter and loses ability to breathe*
She's really quite sweet. Always *SO* afraid of offending someone that she tries too hard and inadvertently ends up offending *EVERYBODY*. You oughta see her in a multi-racial crowd. Poor little old white lady. She tries so hard. XD
I have fewer & fewer acts on my "Singers I Need To See Live Before I Kick The Bucket" list every year. This is a very good thing. Ms. Midler, you are still tops! I demand that you continue to tour until I get tickets someday. I am a very persistent little fangirl, I wouldn't cross me if I were you! /silly
So, CJ/Abbey fans: the porn ninja fic. Yes? Even if it has no plausibility or plot? Is it still a go? Or should I scrap it and attempt to start something else? Whaddaya think?
WINTERGREENS. STOP.
WE HAZ NONE. STOP.
ARE EMERGENCY. STOP.
SEND WINTERGREENS!! STOP.
Hoo boy. I need to keep the windows open next time I'm working with cleaning supplies in a small room, methinkys.
Now who's got their definition of old fashioned lesbian ready? XD
MY TICKETS CAME, YOU GUYS!!
THIS IS UNENDINGLY EXCITING!
*flails & melts into a squee-puddle*
Mum & I were singing & dancing around to "Message to Myself" making dinner (mostly I was just dancing, she did a couple shimmy things "from her youth", though). XD She's excited too... not as excited as I am, perhaps, but I don't think you could be more excited than I am without exploding something vital in your internal organs.
Now on to Sterling's patented Amusing Conversations(tm)!
Dad: "Your tickets came for that singer."
Me: "AHHH!" *rips open envelope* "AHHH! Melissa Etheridge tickets!! AAAHHHH!"
Dad: "Did you get screwed?"
Me: *calm again* "Uhh, I think the seats are OK, actually. Holy christ on a cracker they mark 'em up, though. But yeah. I got screwed a little bit on the money, which I kinda expected. Not too bad on the seats. I got screwed, but they gave me back my pants at the end of the night, you know?"
Dad: "Well that's good - now you'll just have to make sure you're not behind a post."
Me: "It's a rock n roll show, though, so everyone's going to be standing anyways... It's not the Oakridge Boys."
Dad: "That'll be the thing you'll have to worry about - everybody starts jumping around on that balcony, it's liable to give out on ya."
Mum: *completely sure of herself* "I'll just ask them all to sit down if it starts to get shaky."
Me: "............ Uh, mum? Do you really think you're going to be able to get a thousand, maybe two thousand people at a rock concert to sit down by asking them nicely?"
Mum: "Oh. Well, umm... Maybe your dad should come, you know, to protect us."
Dad: "There's not going to be anyone there to protect you from. If I went, I'd just get a bunch of women in short hair and leather telling me to bugger off all night."
Me: "Maybe you'd *better* come, then - to protect Mum's honour. Hordes of horny lesbians at a Melissa Etheridge show! Mum might be overcome! She'll get picked up by some Toronto sugar mama! And then WHO WILL COOK YOU DINNER?"
Dad: "Oh, shut up."
Mum: "I could still cook him dinner."
Me: *cracks up*
(Later on.)
Mum: "This is going to sound like a stupid question, but... umm... How are we going to tell which ones are the lesbians? I mean, like, I know how to tell the REAL lesbians, like the old fashioned kind, but it seems like there's all kinds of new lesbians. I don't want to insult anyone."
Me: *boggles at the concept of the "old fashioned kind" of lesbian, finally recovers enough to answer the question* "Don't worry, Mum. The recruiters all have t-shirts."
Mum: *still looks confused* "Oh, umm.. OK."
*few minutes later*
Mum: "What would the t-shirts say, exactly? Like, "Sign Up Now, Free magazine subscription," like at the horse shows?"
Me: *can no longer control laughter and loses ability to breathe*
She's really quite sweet. Always *SO* afraid of offending someone that she tries too hard and inadvertently ends up offending *EVERYBODY*. You oughta see her in a multi-racial crowd. Poor little old white lady. She tries so hard. XD
I have fewer & fewer acts on my "Singers I Need To See Live Before I Kick The Bucket" list every year. This is a very good thing. Ms. Midler, you are still tops! I demand that you continue to tour until I get tickets someday. I am a very persistent little fangirl, I wouldn't cross me if I were you! /silly
So, CJ/Abbey fans: the porn ninja fic. Yes? Even if it has no plausibility or plot? Is it still a go? Or should I scrap it and attempt to start something else? Whaddaya think?
WINTERGREENS. STOP.
WE HAZ NONE. STOP.
ARE EMERGENCY. STOP.
SEND WINTERGREENS!! STOP.
Hoo boy. I need to keep the windows open next time I'm working with cleaning supplies in a small room, methinkys.
Now who's got their definition of old fashioned lesbian ready? XD