Bleak
Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's that Sheryl's not entirely happy with me, maybe it's that I'm just bored, but life seems a bit bleak right now.
I've applied to Dick's sporting goods. I don't know how I feel about it. I'll take it if it works out, but I don't really want to do that kind of retail work at odd hours that take up my free time. I also filled out an application for "Mr. Tire". I think the fact that I have school and can't work until 3 each day negatively affects my chances of getting hired. But that's the only work I can see myself doing. Work with cars. And I still love the smell of tires.
I want to do work on learning stages but a job will cut into the time I have for that. Add ice all summer, and it's pretty tough ll around. On the bright side, I will have more money to make better use of my free time this summer. Then again, I have to save quite a bit for college.
And there it is. The big, looming, overwhelming fear. College. I don't know what to think. It is both exiting and terrifying. I'm going to Albright. My parents will barely be able to afford it. If they can at all. I'm seriously considering living in my truck during school if the first year is too hard on them. And it may be. But what about every other aspect of this new life? Will I be able to maintain the GPA that keeps my scholarship? If I can't, I simply have to drop out. What will it be like socially? Will I make a lot of friends and do everything or will I keep to myself with a few acquaintances, but never really solidifying friendships? What kind of depression would that bring upon me? I don't know. And the biggest, scariest question of all, what of Sheryl and I? What's going to happen to us? It won't be easy. Will we both be reduced to constant paranoia of what the other is doing while we're apart? Jealousy is certainly a factor that we already deal with. What's going to happen? I don't know.
I don't want to think about it, I don't know, and I'm terrified of it.
So that's my rant. I don't now what's going to happen in my life. But I want to grab everything I have right now and hold it as tightly as I can. I want to live out the end of my high school life to the absolute fullest.
Let's do it, everyone.
Shalom, bitches.
-Colin
I've applied to Dick's sporting goods. I don't know how I feel about it. I'll take it if it works out, but I don't really want to do that kind of retail work at odd hours that take up my free time. I also filled out an application for "Mr. Tire". I think the fact that I have school and can't work until 3 each day negatively affects my chances of getting hired. But that's the only work I can see myself doing. Work with cars. And I still love the smell of tires.
I want to do work on learning stages but a job will cut into the time I have for that. Add ice all summer, and it's pretty tough ll around. On the bright side, I will have more money to make better use of my free time this summer. Then again, I have to save quite a bit for college.
And there it is. The big, looming, overwhelming fear. College. I don't know what to think. It is both exiting and terrifying. I'm going to Albright. My parents will barely be able to afford it. If they can at all. I'm seriously considering living in my truck during school if the first year is too hard on them. And it may be. But what about every other aspect of this new life? Will I be able to maintain the GPA that keeps my scholarship? If I can't, I simply have to drop out. What will it be like socially? Will I make a lot of friends and do everything or will I keep to myself with a few acquaintances, but never really solidifying friendships? What kind of depression would that bring upon me? I don't know. And the biggest, scariest question of all, what of Sheryl and I? What's going to happen to us? It won't be easy. Will we both be reduced to constant paranoia of what the other is doing while we're apart? Jealousy is certainly a factor that we already deal with. What's going to happen? I don't know.
I don't want to think about it, I don't know, and I'm terrified of it.
So that's my rant. I don't now what's going to happen in my life. But I want to grab everything I have right now and hold it as tightly as I can. I want to live out the end of my high school life to the absolute fullest.
Let's do it, everyone.
Shalom, bitches.
-Colin