(no subject)

[steppingonboys]

so on tuesdays night i had a date with this bartender i met last saturday at the grafton street. i had been crushing on her for about a month. and i discussed this with mike. he told me was cool with me having "dates" (ahem) with her. and the more strongbow i consumed that night the better that sounded. so we talked all through the night. lucky me, she's bi too. so we met up at NTC on tuesday and somehow made our way over to the gay bar. we talked about our pasts and our sexuality. and learned about each other. many beers deep, we starting kissing. instantly, even though i was hammered, it just felt so cold and hallow. i used to be all about cheap make-outs. my plan the whole night was to take her home with me. but this kissing was just empty. i shut down. i didn't want her anymore. i didn't want anyone but mike. i didn't want her hands in my hair. i didn't want her mouth anywhere near mine. i walked her to her car. we kissed again. mechanical.

sooo....

the love i feel for mike is so powerful.
i've never ever felt like this before.
i just have to look at him and i feel like i'm floating in warm water.
when we spend the night together we are inseparable. always touching.
foreheads or hands or whole bodies.
he makes my heart feel like it's taking up my whole chest.
gosh i just can't express this right. (dummy)
if soul mates are for real, than this is it.
we don't fully get each other yet, but that will just take more time.
i feel like i won the lottery. the heart/love lottery.

i need nothing else.