It's never too late to be who you might have been.
I am proud to say that I am on the right path to successfully completing one of my New Year's Resolutions. Has this ever happened before? I think not... Therefore, I have bragging rights. Anyways, I sucked it up and asked my dad if he wanted to get together and do something with me. I know it doesn't sound like much, but this took every ounce of courage I had and the reasons are two fold: 1. I haven't done anything alone with my dad in close to 15 years. While we get along better now, there is always that awkward silence and I still always feel uncomfortable around him. 2. I have such a fear of rejection when it comes to my dad. When I was younger, he constantly rejected me in numerous ways, leaving me to feel inadequate and self-conscious. One of my biggest fears of asking him to do something with me was the fear that he would reject the idea... Making me feel like once again, my efforts went to waste.
Well, I took the plunge and I am happy to report that my suggestion was received very nicely. My dad and I are going to go see a movie this Saturday! He even went so far as to suggest that we do something like that, whether it be dinner, a movie, a ball game, etc. at least once a month so we can get more quality time together. I am still crazy nervous, but I am so excited to at least be giving this a shot with him.
In somewhat related news, I am 100 pages deep into a book called The Happiness Project. It's for my book club, but I am kind of reading it out of turn... I honestly just couldn't wait. This book has been on my reading list since the moment I heard about it and I've been itching to dive into it. So far, I am in love. Basically, it's the true story of a woman who decided to dedicate a year to making herself happier. She wasn't necessarily depressed, but she felt like she wasn't making the most out of her life and decided to do something about it. There are so many useful tips and suggestions that can be applied to almost anyone and I am finding her story to be so encouraging and thought provoking. It makes me crave a year to do exactly what she has done and start my own happiness project. While I might not have the option to take time off and do that at this point in my life, I am going to eventually start making a list of goals, etc. so that I can slowly begin working on things.
Taking that first step with my dad was just one of the many, many things I'd like to accomplish. Another one has been to get my anxiety under control. I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember and I have always been too proud to go on medication for it. After seeing myself getting worse and worse, I decided early this week to put aside my pride and go for it. One problem: Would you believe that I have yet to receive my medication? Apparently the pharmacy has to personally talk to my doctor (which, seeing as how great doctors are about returning calls, that could be weeks), find out exactly why I need to be on the medication, fax the information to my health insurance company, wait for them to decide whether or not they want to pay for it, and then call me to come pick it up (if I even get it). I am so frustrated that I finally had the guts to take this step and they are causing me more anxiety to even get it! The fact of the matter is that many of my clients are on that very medication. For the life of me, knowing that they are mostly unemployed, addicted, without insurance, etc. I do not understand how they are able to obtain it so easily when I can't. It is so frustrating.
With that said, I am going to shut up now before I get all worked up about it again. There are still three hours left of the work day/night and I am going to try and relax some so that I can fall right asleep when I get home. Ahh... wishful thinking.
XoXo,
Stefanie
Well, I took the plunge and I am happy to report that my suggestion was received very nicely. My dad and I are going to go see a movie this Saturday! He even went so far as to suggest that we do something like that, whether it be dinner, a movie, a ball game, etc. at least once a month so we can get more quality time together. I am still crazy nervous, but I am so excited to at least be giving this a shot with him.
In somewhat related news, I am 100 pages deep into a book called The Happiness Project. It's for my book club, but I am kind of reading it out of turn... I honestly just couldn't wait. This book has been on my reading list since the moment I heard about it and I've been itching to dive into it. So far, I am in love. Basically, it's the true story of a woman who decided to dedicate a year to making herself happier. She wasn't necessarily depressed, but she felt like she wasn't making the most out of her life and decided to do something about it. There are so many useful tips and suggestions that can be applied to almost anyone and I am finding her story to be so encouraging and thought provoking. It makes me crave a year to do exactly what she has done and start my own happiness project. While I might not have the option to take time off and do that at this point in my life, I am going to eventually start making a list of goals, etc. so that I can slowly begin working on things.
Taking that first step with my dad was just one of the many, many things I'd like to accomplish. Another one has been to get my anxiety under control. I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember and I have always been too proud to go on medication for it. After seeing myself getting worse and worse, I decided early this week to put aside my pride and go for it. One problem: Would you believe that I have yet to receive my medication? Apparently the pharmacy has to personally talk to my doctor (which, seeing as how great doctors are about returning calls, that could be weeks), find out exactly why I need to be on the medication, fax the information to my health insurance company, wait for them to decide whether or not they want to pay for it, and then call me to come pick it up (if I even get it). I am so frustrated that I finally had the guts to take this step and they are causing me more anxiety to even get it! The fact of the matter is that many of my clients are on that very medication. For the life of me, knowing that they are mostly unemployed, addicted, without insurance, etc. I do not understand how they are able to obtain it so easily when I can't. It is so frustrating.
With that said, I am going to shut up now before I get all worked up about it again. There are still three hours left of the work day/night and I am going to try and relax some so that I can fall right asleep when I get home. Ahh... wishful thinking.
XoXo,
Stefanie