well it's over
Jamie and i broke up today. It was basically all my fault like always. I donno, i'm just so heartbroken it's crazy. I was just really upset when i found out he took a cleaning shift thursday morning at 7 when we had plans for him to sleep over wednesday night cause it was our 7 month and we both agreed to do something together on the 10th of every month. Since we both work he was gonna come over that night once i got off at 12. we would either sleep in and i was gonna make him breakfast or if i wasn't up to it then just go out for breakfast. all of this was gonna be a surprise cause i like surprises and i wanted to do something special for him. But since his shift was at 7 clearly everything i had planned went down the drain.
So i got upset and we argued and i said it's over i'm done. Well as soon as i hung up the phone i realized what i did was a huge mistake and i didn't mean it cause he means everything in the world to me. So i went to the theatre and we talked, but then he had to go back to work. I just kinna left him alone for the rest of the night let him think about what we talked about and stuff.
After work he was in the staff room cleaning so we sat down and talked and he said how he wanted some time to think but then got called away. So i stuck around until he was off of work. He said how he didn't really want a relationship right now and wanted time to think about things so basically we broke up. I told him how i know he has a lot going on and i just wanted to help, and how i'm sorry for always getting upset and how it's the only thing i've ever known and it will take me awhile to stop doing it but it will happen.
So i gave him back the necklace he gave me for christmas and he told me to keep it, but i really don't want something that i love so much and everytime i wear it, it reminds me of him. So then we talked some more. I told him how no matter what i want to support him in everything he does it the military, and i know one of the reasons for this is because he will be gone alot and i know that upsets him. and it upsets me too but if it's what he wants to do then i support him.
But what i did tell him is that i can't be his friend. He didn't know what that meant. Like if i would never speek to him again or what. I just told him that i have been with him for 7 months, we've been though so much and i just can't put that away. I said how i can't be your friend cause i still love you and those feeling are gonna be there. I said how i won't avoid him and will still talk to him just not hang out with him. and he understood. Then we talked some more and he said how he just needs time to figure out what he's doing and figure things out. I told him how i can't garntee that i will still be here waiting for him and he said he knew.
He then tried to give me back the necklace and i said no keep it, if you decide that you want to be with me then give it back, and if you don't keep it and give me back the keys. I said and that's how i will know if you still wanna be with me or not.
I just love him so much and it is killing me inside knowing that were not together, i just can't piture my life without him, he means everything to me, and i just wanna mean everything to him again.
~*steph*~ xoxo
So i got upset and we argued and i said it's over i'm done. Well as soon as i hung up the phone i realized what i did was a huge mistake and i didn't mean it cause he means everything in the world to me. So i went to the theatre and we talked, but then he had to go back to work. I just kinna left him alone for the rest of the night let him think about what we talked about and stuff.
After work he was in the staff room cleaning so we sat down and talked and he said how he wanted some time to think but then got called away. So i stuck around until he was off of work. He said how he didn't really want a relationship right now and wanted time to think about things so basically we broke up. I told him how i know he has a lot going on and i just wanted to help, and how i'm sorry for always getting upset and how it's the only thing i've ever known and it will take me awhile to stop doing it but it will happen.
So i gave him back the necklace he gave me for christmas and he told me to keep it, but i really don't want something that i love so much and everytime i wear it, it reminds me of him. So then we talked some more. I told him how no matter what i want to support him in everything he does it the military, and i know one of the reasons for this is because he will be gone alot and i know that upsets him. and it upsets me too but if it's what he wants to do then i support him.
But what i did tell him is that i can't be his friend. He didn't know what that meant. Like if i would never speek to him again or what. I just told him that i have been with him for 7 months, we've been though so much and i just can't put that away. I said how i can't be your friend cause i still love you and those feeling are gonna be there. I said how i won't avoid him and will still talk to him just not hang out with him. and he understood. Then we talked some more and he said how he just needs time to figure out what he's doing and figure things out. I told him how i can't garntee that i will still be here waiting for him and he said he knew.
He then tried to give me back the necklace and i said no keep it, if you decide that you want to be with me then give it back, and if you don't keep it and give me back the keys. I said and that's how i will know if you still wanna be with me or not.
I just love him so much and it is killing me inside knowing that were not together, i just can't piture my life without him, he means everything to me, and i just wanna mean everything to him again.
~*steph*~ xoxo