(no subject)
i recently heard someone tell me that they were an insomniac and ive been thinking about it and im sitting here wondering if i could be half insomniac too.
its not that i cant sleep, its that im afraid to sleep.
im reluctlant to end my day, not because it was a good day, but because im afraid of what will happen during my sleep.
what if i have a bad dream.
what if i died in my sleep.
i wouldnt even know, i would have no control over it...not that i would if i were awake.
but the thought seems a lot scarier to me when i have no idea whats happend to me.
but im mainly afraid of a bad dream.
its the day that gets me like that.
i go to bed with my thoughts running with all the things that had just happened.
its the things that scared/freaked me out most in the day.
and im afraid the things that affected me during the day will get into my sleep.
this is so terrible, i want to have something to sigh about. but not a sad sigh, a happy one.
a sigh of relief...a sigh of love.
i want that.
i want to get through the day with my thoughts only on one person who i am so in love with that when i go to bed, theyre the only thing i see.
i want sweet dreams from someone who affected my day in a good way.
someone who can take all the things that freaked me out during the day and just push them to the side.
i want that more than anyone will ever know.
and i know theres someone out there which is what kills me.
theres gotta be.
and the sad part is, i care.
i think about him when im scared and stressed.
and the sad part is, he helps me to go on sometimes.
im the definition of pathetic.
love controls me in every way possible.
its not that i cant sleep, its that im afraid to sleep.
im reluctlant to end my day, not because it was a good day, but because im afraid of what will happen during my sleep.
what if i have a bad dream.
what if i died in my sleep.
i wouldnt even know, i would have no control over it...not that i would if i were awake.
but the thought seems a lot scarier to me when i have no idea whats happend to me.
but im mainly afraid of a bad dream.
its the day that gets me like that.
i go to bed with my thoughts running with all the things that had just happened.
its the things that scared/freaked me out most in the day.
and im afraid the things that affected me during the day will get into my sleep.
this is so terrible, i want to have something to sigh about. but not a sad sigh, a happy one.
a sigh of relief...a sigh of love.
i want that.
i want to get through the day with my thoughts only on one person who i am so in love with that when i go to bed, theyre the only thing i see.
i want sweet dreams from someone who affected my day in a good way.
someone who can take all the things that freaked me out during the day and just push them to the side.
i want that more than anyone will ever know.
and i know theres someone out there which is what kills me.
theres gotta be.
and the sad part is, i care.
i think about him when im scared and stressed.
and the sad part is, he helps me to go on sometimes.
im the definition of pathetic.
love controls me in every way possible.