Well

[stephensjournal]

I have been working hard the last couple of days. I would like to say these journals are a good way to learn about different people and their views. A lot of things don't get sugar coated in here. I feel we become so much closer having these journals and being about to express our love, anger, happiness, and concerns. I just got home not too long ago. Some reason here lately I am feeling smoothered maybe crowded or exposed. I don' t know if it is me being weird or what. I feel as if I am stuck in this cycle and that I can't get out of it. I love change in my life and no change is happening right now. I feel like everyone knows all my business and their is no mystery left. I want to make up secrets just so I can have something that no one knows about me. That is how out on the buffet I feel. I prolly need some sex! That will cure it all. hehe just joking. I think I need to date real soon. Prolly have a boyfriend this summer or something. I dunno....... Random thoughts in this next paragraph, really weird ones coming outta my head.

I want a purpose in life, I have no goals at the moment, that is my problem. I need to sit down and think about some goals. I want to be a strong person that no one can run over and be strong willed with my priorities in life. I feel it is time for change. I want to start gymnastics again. I think I will join United or something in a couple of weeks. I feel so distant from my family too. I just hope I figure out something real soon to do before I have a small pityful breakdown. I take that back no breakdowns over here. how can I have a breakdown when I can't figure out what I am feeling.
I need time, love, joy
I need space, love
I need... me
Action!