Text used to be enough
LJ is theoretically up and kind of working now, but that does not include the ability to upload images to Scrapbook (never a particularly fun experience at the best of times). In theory I could host the next n rock, cat, and stuffed toy photos in Dropbox and link to them from within a post, but I actually want to have my rock pictures in one easily scannable spot. So in lieu of pictures, here are some words.
Sitting on the coffee table is a rental DVD copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I have not yet seen. I found the book immensely dull so was never terribly keen to see the film, but I thought I should do a push through all the HP films for the sake of completeness. For this reason I watched the second half of Goblet of Fire last night so I'd be all up to speed on the Ministry of Magic characters, my main source of don't give a flying f%$k disinterest-based confusion in the latter books. And I was stoned out of my head on amitriptyline and couldn't escape from the tv.
Speaking of being stoned, this was for the very sensible reason that I was in rather a lot of fibro pain. 5mg of amitriptyline gets me 24 hours of relief, most of which is spent unconscious or otherwise too zombied to notice. I don't like it, but it was a useful illustration of the difference between sundry antidepressants and the current drug trial of agomelatine.
Agomelatine helps you to sleep by reinforcing the melatonin-driven bits of one's circadian rhythm. If that sentence made you snort milk out of your nose, I apologise; I'm not aiming for scientific veracity here. If that sentence made you curious about how it actually works, I encourage you to seek information elsewhere. Anyway, I take this stuff now (37.5mg for those playing at home) in lieu of Stilnox for my chronic and really top-shelf quality insomnia. One doesn't necessarily sleep *much* on the ago, but by golly you sleep *well*. This in contrast to the amitrip (and Stilnox) which knocked me deeply unconscious for many hours at a go, but really didn't feel restful.
The other really nice thing about the ago is that when I'm awake, I am much more awake and clear-headed than I've been in general for a while, but especially so in comparison to today's amitrip fog. This has allowed me to do a little (not a lot, but some) work from home in the past month or so which has done wonders for my self esteem.
It's hard to identify which are chickens and which are eggs, but life on ago does seem just generally better. It's possible all the benefits I'm seeing are flowing on from proper sleep - sleep that actually heals and generates spoons! (I've woken up from naps feeling better!) Or it could be that other antidepressant factors are at play. I don't really care. I've joined an online group of people using the ago and it's been very helpful, particularly as one of the main selling points of the drug appears to be untrue. The product info says it works much faster than other ADs, but the overwhelming advice from the actual consumers is to give the ago just as much time (4-6 weeks) as you would other meds. They say the improvement is subtle until BANG you wake up one morning and you've hit therapeutic levels.
It was not quite like that for me. I had my BANG moment quite quickly within the first week, and then a similar sized crash. I gave it another week and then increased the dose (as permitted by my doc). Since then things have been improving slowly again, rather more like the common experience of the group.
The subtlety of the improvement is something that's particularly nice about this drug. I've tried other ADs that have got me on my feet and moving around, but like a puppet. Sometimes like a fizzy electrified puppet, sometimes like a coldly efficient robot. The former physically exhausted me; the latter brought me frighteningly close to suicide. Both made me feel as though I was wearing a mask, as though I wasn't me and was frightened by the loss of identity that brought. On the ago I feel like me. I'm not perfect, but I've grown accustomed to being me.
Sitting on the coffee table is a rental DVD copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I have not yet seen. I found the book immensely dull so was never terribly keen to see the film, but I thought I should do a push through all the HP films for the sake of completeness. For this reason I watched the second half of Goblet of Fire last night so I'd be all up to speed on the Ministry of Magic characters, my main source of don't give a flying f%$k disinterest-based confusion in the latter books. And I was stoned out of my head on amitriptyline and couldn't escape from the tv.
Speaking of being stoned, this was for the very sensible reason that I was in rather a lot of fibro pain. 5mg of amitriptyline gets me 24 hours of relief, most of which is spent unconscious or otherwise too zombied to notice. I don't like it, but it was a useful illustration of the difference between sundry antidepressants and the current drug trial of agomelatine.
Agomelatine helps you to sleep by reinforcing the melatonin-driven bits of one's circadian rhythm. If that sentence made you snort milk out of your nose, I apologise; I'm not aiming for scientific veracity here. If that sentence made you curious about how it actually works, I encourage you to seek information elsewhere. Anyway, I take this stuff now (37.5mg for those playing at home) in lieu of Stilnox for my chronic and really top-shelf quality insomnia. One doesn't necessarily sleep *much* on the ago, but by golly you sleep *well*. This in contrast to the amitrip (and Stilnox) which knocked me deeply unconscious for many hours at a go, but really didn't feel restful.
The other really nice thing about the ago is that when I'm awake, I am much more awake and clear-headed than I've been in general for a while, but especially so in comparison to today's amitrip fog. This has allowed me to do a little (not a lot, but some) work from home in the past month or so which has done wonders for my self esteem.
It's hard to identify which are chickens and which are eggs, but life on ago does seem just generally better. It's possible all the benefits I'm seeing are flowing on from proper sleep - sleep that actually heals and generates spoons! (I've woken up from naps feeling better!) Or it could be that other antidepressant factors are at play. I don't really care. I've joined an online group of people using the ago and it's been very helpful, particularly as one of the main selling points of the drug appears to be untrue. The product info says it works much faster than other ADs, but the overwhelming advice from the actual consumers is to give the ago just as much time (4-6 weeks) as you would other meds. They say the improvement is subtle until BANG you wake up one morning and you've hit therapeutic levels.
It was not quite like that for me. I had my BANG moment quite quickly within the first week, and then a similar sized crash. I gave it another week and then increased the dose (as permitted by my doc). Since then things have been improving slowly again, rather more like the common experience of the group.
The subtlety of the improvement is something that's particularly nice about this drug. I've tried other ADs that have got me on my feet and moving around, but like a puppet. Sometimes like a fizzy electrified puppet, sometimes like a coldly efficient robot. The former physically exhausted me; the latter brought me frighteningly close to suicide. Both made me feel as though I was wearing a mask, as though I wasn't me and was frightened by the loss of identity that brought. On the ago I feel like me. I'm not perfect, but I've grown accustomed to being me.