much NEEDED update!
oh wow so much has happened in the last couple of days. spiritually at least.
i guess ill start with where i i got home from sarah's house.
i came home...went on the computer..and read a little bit of genesis (in the bible) before konking out. i fell asleep holding the bible in my hands...
and then the dream came...
i shouldve posted this earler cause ive forgotten most of it...
there were a lot of strange elements in it that didnt make sense to me...like being outside of my ex-best friend's girlfriend's ex-stepfather's apartment (or was it her mothers...they live so close?) and being inside a tree.
but heres the part that did...
at one point in the dream...im approached/attacked by either a demon or a demon possessed man. i forget if they grabbed for me or shot at me..
but either way i cried out for god to please protect me..and there was almost an invisible barrier between me and them..they couldnt get to me...couldnt touch me...and for some reason...i wasnt terrified...usually that sort of thing just scares me..but i felt...calm...
and then flashforward....im standing in front of a bunch of people that were killed...the man who did it...was ontop of a roof crying...and suddenly...im the man...begging for god's forgiveness.
then i wake up...
and the bible is MIRACULOUSLY opened up to the part where jesus is telling his disciples he will speak freely to them..but to everybody else he will speak only in parables. right after that,...it talks about how jesus freed a possessed man...
a man who called himself "legions" because so many demons were inside him. it talked about how the demons were scared of jesus and begged that they not be banned from the earth..instead that they might be alllowed to go and live inside a nearbu herd of pigs...jesus allowed this..and immideately the man was ok..and the herd of pigs now possessed..went and drowned themselves...all two thousand.
which really makes you think...because to have that dream..and then wake up to that page...? TOO much of a coincidence...
its almost like god was trying to tell me there's no need to be afraid...as he is more powerful than any demon...and that now that im under his guidance...i cant be harmed.
flash-forward to sunday...i didnt really do very much..BUT i DID ask god to help give me the strength to achieve the things i want to achieve...and all of a sudden sunday i had no desire to eat anything but oatmeal and the fajita things my mom made for dinner...ive been eating really healthy...with god's help
then sunday night me and sarah went to axis i belive its called?? over in simi valley...
they had a really great band...(christian band..hehe...) and really cool worship songs......
then they had a speaker and he taught us about how its important to reach out to people and tell them of god's love...to tell them of god of his miracles..and ask them if they wish to be in christ...actually he said usually it takes more like begging than just asking...but...most people dont want it.
which makes me kind of sad...god IS REAL! in the past two days...(or has it been three??) god has done so much for me...all i or anyoone has to do is reach out for god's help...sarah explained it as...god wants to be needed....he wants us to turn to him
which frnakly shouldnt be that difficult....i know some VERY needy people...daddy give me this...daddy give me that...
but yet...its hard for some reason for people to understand how amazing and real god is..
i THOROUGHLY enjoy talking to sarah about things...she helps to clear up my doubts about stuff...and its nice to just talk about god with someone...cause most people either dont want to hear it...or just dont care...which again..makes me really sad.
again tonight..i was talking with sarah over things...and again...i looked up at the sky and jsut got OVERWHELMED! god is bigger than all that! all of it..as far as the eye can see..more pwerful tan anything you can imagine...stronger too...
its hard for me to just get over that...everytime i look up at that huge sky...that sky that in no way was created by man..i realize it mustve been created by SOMEONE...that someone of course being our lord GOD!
that HUGE sky..as big as it is to us...its probably tiny to him.
i guess ill start with where i i got home from sarah's house.
i came home...went on the computer..and read a little bit of genesis (in the bible) before konking out. i fell asleep holding the bible in my hands...
and then the dream came...
i shouldve posted this earler cause ive forgotten most of it...
there were a lot of strange elements in it that didnt make sense to me...like being outside of my ex-best friend's girlfriend's ex-stepfather's apartment (or was it her mothers...they live so close?) and being inside a tree.
but heres the part that did...
at one point in the dream...im approached/attacked by either a demon or a demon possessed man. i forget if they grabbed for me or shot at me..
but either way i cried out for god to please protect me..and there was almost an invisible barrier between me and them..they couldnt get to me...couldnt touch me...and for some reason...i wasnt terrified...usually that sort of thing just scares me..but i felt...calm...
and then flashforward....im standing in front of a bunch of people that were killed...the man who did it...was ontop of a roof crying...and suddenly...im the man...begging for god's forgiveness.
then i wake up...
and the bible is MIRACULOUSLY opened up to the part where jesus is telling his disciples he will speak freely to them..but to everybody else he will speak only in parables. right after that,...it talks about how jesus freed a possessed man...
a man who called himself "legions" because so many demons were inside him. it talked about how the demons were scared of jesus and begged that they not be banned from the earth..instead that they might be alllowed to go and live inside a nearbu herd of pigs...jesus allowed this..and immideately the man was ok..and the herd of pigs now possessed..went and drowned themselves...all two thousand.
which really makes you think...because to have that dream..and then wake up to that page...? TOO much of a coincidence...
its almost like god was trying to tell me there's no need to be afraid...as he is more powerful than any demon...and that now that im under his guidance...i cant be harmed.
flash-forward to sunday...i didnt really do very much..BUT i DID ask god to help give me the strength to achieve the things i want to achieve...and all of a sudden sunday i had no desire to eat anything but oatmeal and the fajita things my mom made for dinner...ive been eating really healthy...with god's help
then sunday night me and sarah went to axis i belive its called?? over in simi valley...
they had a really great band...(christian band..hehe...) and really cool worship songs......
then they had a speaker and he taught us about how its important to reach out to people and tell them of god's love...to tell them of god of his miracles..and ask them if they wish to be in christ...actually he said usually it takes more like begging than just asking...but...most people dont want it.
which makes me kind of sad...god IS REAL! in the past two days...(or has it been three??) god has done so much for me...all i or anyoone has to do is reach out for god's help...sarah explained it as...god wants to be needed....he wants us to turn to him
which frnakly shouldnt be that difficult....i know some VERY needy people...daddy give me this...daddy give me that...
but yet...its hard for some reason for people to understand how amazing and real god is..
i THOROUGHLY enjoy talking to sarah about things...she helps to clear up my doubts about stuff...and its nice to just talk about god with someone...cause most people either dont want to hear it...or just dont care...which again..makes me really sad.
again tonight..i was talking with sarah over things...and again...i looked up at the sky and jsut got OVERWHELMED! god is bigger than all that! all of it..as far as the eye can see..more pwerful tan anything you can imagine...stronger too...
its hard for me to just get over that...everytime i look up at that huge sky...that sky that in no way was created by man..i realize it mustve been created by SOMEONE...that someone of course being our lord GOD!
that HUGE sky..as big as it is to us...its probably tiny to him.