(no subject)
Well I guess I can say my life is never uninteresting. I "talked" to Nicole today. Wrote her a check for $100 and explained to her that the only way to rectify us "stealing her money and keeping food from her" is by no longer charging her for food, giving her half the kitchen space for herself, and of course giving her money back from the last time she paid. She said she had just planned on not giving us money this morning anyways. Also told her that I felt like I owed her an apology. Said I didn't realize that I had "nitpicked" at her, and "made her feel unwelcome in her own home", and that "I had been a bad friend for a long time." She just stared at me, said nothing. So I went and played with Sam in his room. Just baffles me is all, that I'm the bad guy. I'm the one who's been ignored. I'm the one that's been left out of the loop or activities. I'm the one that put in the middle of the animosity between my husband and her. I'm the one that has bent over backwards to make her feel welcome in this home and to do nice stuff for her. But I'm the bad guy. So I'm done. It's painfully obvious that the girl I've called my sister and best friend for the last ten years no longer wants anything to do with me. So I'm done.
I don't deserve to be treated this way. By her or her friends. I don't need the stress especially while pregnant. I have enough to worry about that I don't need to be made to feel guilty every time I want to eat something or get something for my son to eat. I don't like feeling like I shouldn't be able to watch TV or a movie with my son. I don't like that I have to keep hushing Jeromi when he plays with our son. What kind of life am I forced to be living?
I know darn well that apologizing to her means nothing to her when she can't even say anything to me. I know that explaining myself to her friend in response to his message to me will change nothing about how I'm viewed by them. Why do I keep trying? Better yet, why am I the only one who IS trying?
Sigh. Jeromi told me he wanted me to wake him up and warn him about how the "talk" went with Nicole. So I'm gonna sign off of here and go wake him up. I'll tell him what happened and then I'll tell him that I'm going to the office tomorrow to break our lease. Guess this means I should start looking tonight for a new place to live.
The way I see it, if I'm such the bad guy and living with me is just too terrible for anyone to handle, I guess I should just move out then. Too bad it screws her over as well, but then... That's just the type of person I guess I am, right?
I don't deserve to be treated this way. By her or her friends. I don't need the stress especially while pregnant. I have enough to worry about that I don't need to be made to feel guilty every time I want to eat something or get something for my son to eat. I don't like feeling like I shouldn't be able to watch TV or a movie with my son. I don't like that I have to keep hushing Jeromi when he plays with our son. What kind of life am I forced to be living?
I know darn well that apologizing to her means nothing to her when she can't even say anything to me. I know that explaining myself to her friend in response to his message to me will change nothing about how I'm viewed by them. Why do I keep trying? Better yet, why am I the only one who IS trying?
Sigh. Jeromi told me he wanted me to wake him up and warn him about how the "talk" went with Nicole. So I'm gonna sign off of here and go wake him up. I'll tell him what happened and then I'll tell him that I'm going to the office tomorrow to break our lease. Guess this means I should start looking tonight for a new place to live.
The way I see it, if I'm such the bad guy and living with me is just too terrible for anyone to handle, I guess I should just move out then. Too bad it screws her over as well, but then... That's just the type of person I guess I am, right?