A la Monologue
Everyone has someone. Everyone has what they need, but I, I dont have what I need . I need myself ( at least for a while). What I need is not others, but my own time, my own space, my own life. No one controls it. Am I acting selfish? Or is this the reality I all have to face? I can't wait to get out of this situation. Turn 18 or so and have that damn life. I cant wait to be indipendent despite the worries and the stress. I can't wait. But that doesnt mean that I can't make this life now the best. I thought about this once: BLOOMING.
When will I bloom? When will Rose grow? change? OR be different from what everybody knows or expects from her? But I thought about it this morning. why can't I do this now? NOW! NOW! NOW! If I die in this very minute and God would ask me what I have done so far, I would be totally speechless. What did I do? SHIT, I didn't do anything at all. Why do I feel that I don't have a use? People dont need me. THey need themselves, and their so full of it! I remember 'About a Boy'-Hugh Grant's character says that his life is like a afternoon tv show, there are special guests, other cast members, but usually, he was the regular. The lead. And What the Hell am I trying to connect this to? I have no idea, Cuz Im fucking mad at this person. OR AM I just really jealous of his situation? I hate him. No, I shouldn't hate him. I PITY HIM. YEs, that sounds sooo right. So, since I am in a very air-headed phase right now, I want to say that I dont need your freakin' presence (all the time- bugger off!). I just need The Lord God,myself and my real friends for at least a moment in time.So please, go away!
When will I bloom? When will Rose grow? change? OR be different from what everybody knows or expects from her? But I thought about it this morning. why can't I do this now? NOW! NOW! NOW! If I die in this very minute and God would ask me what I have done so far, I would be totally speechless. What did I do? SHIT, I didn't do anything at all. Why do I feel that I don't have a use? People dont need me. THey need themselves, and their so full of it! I remember 'About a Boy'-Hugh Grant's character says that his life is like a afternoon tv show, there are special guests, other cast members, but usually, he was the regular. The lead. And What the Hell am I trying to connect this to? I have no idea, Cuz Im fucking mad at this person. OR AM I just really jealous of his situation? I hate him. No, I shouldn't hate him. I PITY HIM. YEs, that sounds sooo right. So, since I am in a very air-headed phase right now, I want to say that I dont need your freakin' presence (all the time- bugger off!). I just need The Lord God,myself and my real friends for at least a moment in time.So please, go away!