i am really not a confident as i seem. i am actually not confident at all.. u took that from me
Yea so when people are there for me... i like majorly think about it and appreciate it.
i feel so lucky and so thankful for having such good friends.
i use to care what people thought of me.
i use to care about my pride being taken away.
but i truely dont any more.
i am not afraid to show my pain. cause we all have pain some of us just hide it
i use to think it made me a stronger person to hide my pain. but it really dosent. it makes u a stronger person to show that ur in pain.
so i meet this guy. and to me hes incredable. cause i always see this like good side of people. and i alwasy want to believe that deep down they dont mean to do/ say the things they do.
this always ALWAYS ends up hurting me. because actions speak louder then words.. much louder. and u should watch peoples actions cause thats who they are.
anyone can lie, but trust me no one can keep up an act.
if u care about someone show them that u care, dont tell them. its much more powerful and true.
anyways i started thinking about this whole situation. and talking to my friends. the people who are there for me every day. the people i love so much.
and i realised he really makes me feel like shit about who i am
i talked to my dad about my whole situation and he told me that i should find a guy that makes me feel like i am the only one on his mind.
he told me to find a guy that looks at me like i am the only person in the room.
i talked to some of my friends. and they actually wanted to talk to him to tell him how much he is losing by losing me.
i wouldnt let them.
but i thought about it
and i am still there. i am still by his side.
so what is he losing? nothing.
so for once i am gonna follow the real facts.
and u know what i am really not hurt. because hes not what i am looking for. not even what i am looking for in a friend.
i feel like i am being a little bit of a drama queen.
but this isnt like i am crazy heart broken. cause i dont even think i am.
but its about how someone can make u lose who u r.
its about how soon u start believeing what people around u say.
and i started believeing i was worthless.
because even if he didnt mean to, thats how he made me feel.
i just wanna say i love all my friends who actually believe in me, who actually believe i have worth. who actually believe that i deserve someone who will treat me right when even i myself dont believe it.
sometimes i try to blame myself for peoples mistakes because i think its easier to believe its all my fault then to believe that some people are really the people they are. especially people i care alot about.
i was talking to vicky last nigth on the phone about some of my old best friends.. and how they still turn to me.. yet i feel like i can never turn to them.
it upset me for the longest time cause i felt like they just used me when they needed someone there.
but then i started to blame myself and i was like maybe their not there for me because i dont turn to them.
but then i thought about it even more. and my close friends/ family is always there for me... i dont really have to turn to them though. their just there.. and i think thats what a true friend is.. someone u dont have to turn to because their always there... their always going through it with u and holding ur hand...
thank u to all my true friend i love u guys soo much
i feel so lucky and so thankful for having such good friends.
i use to care what people thought of me.
i use to care about my pride being taken away.
but i truely dont any more.
i am not afraid to show my pain. cause we all have pain some of us just hide it
i use to think it made me a stronger person to hide my pain. but it really dosent. it makes u a stronger person to show that ur in pain.
so i meet this guy. and to me hes incredable. cause i always see this like good side of people. and i alwasy want to believe that deep down they dont mean to do/ say the things they do.
this always ALWAYS ends up hurting me. because actions speak louder then words.. much louder. and u should watch peoples actions cause thats who they are.
anyone can lie, but trust me no one can keep up an act.
if u care about someone show them that u care, dont tell them. its much more powerful and true.
anyways i started thinking about this whole situation. and talking to my friends. the people who are there for me every day. the people i love so much.
and i realised he really makes me feel like shit about who i am
i talked to my dad about my whole situation and he told me that i should find a guy that makes me feel like i am the only one on his mind.
he told me to find a guy that looks at me like i am the only person in the room.
i talked to some of my friends. and they actually wanted to talk to him to tell him how much he is losing by losing me.
i wouldnt let them.
but i thought about it
and i am still there. i am still by his side.
so what is he losing? nothing.
so for once i am gonna follow the real facts.
and u know what i am really not hurt. because hes not what i am looking for. not even what i am looking for in a friend.
i feel like i am being a little bit of a drama queen.
but this isnt like i am crazy heart broken. cause i dont even think i am.
but its about how someone can make u lose who u r.
its about how soon u start believeing what people around u say.
and i started believeing i was worthless.
because even if he didnt mean to, thats how he made me feel.
i just wanna say i love all my friends who actually believe in me, who actually believe i have worth. who actually believe that i deserve someone who will treat me right when even i myself dont believe it.
sometimes i try to blame myself for peoples mistakes because i think its easier to believe its all my fault then to believe that some people are really the people they are. especially people i care alot about.
i was talking to vicky last nigth on the phone about some of my old best friends.. and how they still turn to me.. yet i feel like i can never turn to them.
it upset me for the longest time cause i felt like they just used me when they needed someone there.
but then i started to blame myself and i was like maybe their not there for me because i dont turn to them.
but then i thought about it even more. and my close friends/ family is always there for me... i dont really have to turn to them though. their just there.. and i think thats what a true friend is.. someone u dont have to turn to because their always there... their always going through it with u and holding ur hand...
thank u to all my true friend i love u guys soo much