The spiral
Day 3 of Prozac and I have stomach upset. Not sure if it’s just related to my panic attack this morning. I felt overwhelmed with tasks immediately. First day of school for kids. I forgot their folders. Haven’t been home in 3 days to clean, so I want to do that, but I’m feeling jittery and nauseous. I am deep breathing at times. Listening to music and moving my body. And now I’m trying to journal. I know I need to eat but I’ve barely had 200 cals today. My car is fucking up and I have an appointment at 4p before kids get home. Panicked I won’t make it home in time. All of the anxiety and my down mood makes me feel like everyone should avoid me. I need Katie today and I feel so bad that she has to deal with me. I am trying to give myself grace to get through today. I do tend to isolate when I know I’m not acting appropriately. But really it’s just unmasking and I don’t do that in front of anyone, so it could be just that I’m alone for the first time in weeks. Just working stuff out in my head takes so much time with the squirrels falling off the wheels.