Bad days
I had such a emotional day yesterday that I was really hoping today would be better because I was gonna do everything I could to make sure it was. I took my vitamins. I did not stop moving the entire 8hr work shift. I barely made it out of there. Right to having to do grocery pickup. To my car dying 3 times on the way home due to some sensor or fuse idk. To coming to home the car smeared shit. All over Sam’s carpet, a streak about 4 ft long. All over my shower floor. And needed a bath. Bathing the cat was a great time. I still have to make dinner. Do laundry. And instead all I wanna do now is cry. Cry because I’m overwhelmed with tasks. Tired from my work day. Mad at myself for not being able to handle a bad day. Now I have to find time to take my car back into the shop. Make eye doctor appointments that I forgot to do. Still manage to pack lunches and plan dinners so we eat healthy because I’m tired of gaining weight. Everytime I think I can get the tasks under control and start checking them off, more pile up. I’m not stressed about my relationship thankfully but I will be soon because I feel like I’m not doing enough there either. Everything I do is just barely enough to get by. I should find time for overtime because my bank account is getting low and car Insurance is due, but that means also, paying more child care. I wanna help Dena but don’t know how or where to help besides to stop needing her for the kids, but I so badly do. I want two days a week where I know my kids are cared for so I don’t feel like I have to work extra.