Aug 18, 2005 18:46
Maddie's gone and Taffy's back, and it was one of the most horrible nights of my life. I didn't expect it to be like that. Like she was bein' ripped out of the fabric of the world, torn away, and Taf was bein' ripped out of the place where she was to replace her. They were both screamin'.
I'm just numb right now, I think. Maddie's someplace where I can't reach her, and Taf doesn't wanna be reached. She looked at me last night like I was a stranger, went into her room and closed the door. I left. What else was I gonna do? That made it pretty clear she had zero interest in talkin' to me.
I'm tryin' to understand. I mean, she found out some heavy shit about me and Jordan while she was in the spirit world, and it was obviously terrible how she got back here. Not like a nice plane ride or anything. She was upset and maybe in pain and scared. But, God, there's a part of me that just wants my best friend, now. I'm gonna have to be patient, hard as that is to do. Jor deserves the chance to get things straight with her first before I try to talk to her. This has gotta be killin' him.
So I'll wait.
I thought about goin' to Astra's, but I just, I dunno. I'd have to tell her Taffy's back and Maddie's gone, and I can't face tellin' the whole story right now. I think I'll just wander around, sit on a few park benches and try not to think. I'm prob'ly not fit company for anyone right now.