HAPPY
The things i said i would do i did. now im wondering if it was the right choice. i jumped the gun. i made it happen. that is what i beleive you are suppose to do make things happen. but i think it may be the wrong choice. i asked him not to go back home. and well of course he did. which didn't bother me. him leaving, again, didn't bother me. but this time i at least had the courage to ask him to stay. which means im growing.
i had it worked up in my mind soo much taht it all fell short of what i expected. and somehow i love him enough that it doesn't matter. I think your suppose to be able to just give in some. hopefully im right because im going to give in on this. its not what i expected, its not everything i wanted but hes what i want. so i mean i guess one thing that i don't absolutly love is ok because i love everything else.
somehow moving away from everyone i knew and love, everything that mattered to me. detaching myself and becoming more depressed than i thought that i could ever become again. was the best thing for me. it helped me become a more trusting person. i cut out everyone that kept hurting me over and over again. now i don't even keep them at arms length. i keep them as far away as possible. i now have room for people that i trust. i have room to trust. im willing to give a lil piece of myself up. and i did.
he noticed. and it was great for me. i didn't feel the need to run. i just wanted to be with him. its been sooooo long since i have let taht happen. and well im just happy. not a forced happy. not a fake happy. actually happy. i feel almost normal. i haven't felt this good since before my dad died. i have all the emotions including a real happy...
i had it worked up in my mind soo much taht it all fell short of what i expected. and somehow i love him enough that it doesn't matter. I think your suppose to be able to just give in some. hopefully im right because im going to give in on this. its not what i expected, its not everything i wanted but hes what i want. so i mean i guess one thing that i don't absolutly love is ok because i love everything else.
somehow moving away from everyone i knew and love, everything that mattered to me. detaching myself and becoming more depressed than i thought that i could ever become again. was the best thing for me. it helped me become a more trusting person. i cut out everyone that kept hurting me over and over again. now i don't even keep them at arms length. i keep them as far away as possible. i now have room for people that i trust. i have room to trust. im willing to give a lil piece of myself up. and i did.
he noticed. and it was great for me. i didn't feel the need to run. i just wanted to be with him. its been sooooo long since i have let taht happen. and well im just happy. not a forced happy. not a fake happy. actually happy. i feel almost normal. i haven't felt this good since before my dad died. i have all the emotions including a real happy...