Several things:
I know that my life is not age-appropriate. I wonder if I'm just ... indulging myself? Or seriously crazy? As opposed to my preferred explanation that I'm doing this to get my life back on track, and then I can be normal-ish again. But maybe not. Maybe I'm just defective in emotional makeup, or in character.
I wonder if therapy is doing me any good. It does help me survive and gives me some much-needed perspective. Sometimes I think that I should just cut myself off from it and scrape by on my own, if I could. Because it appears that I'll most often be miserable anyway... why waste money trying not to be?
Maybe the sleep deprivation threw me into a major depression, somehow?
I seriously need a different job. I HATE it that I ever have to choose between giving it my all and having a back that functions. Yeah, when it comes down to it, I have to choose my back over working as fast as I need to there or whatever, but I need a place with less solo lifting of 300lb people and better equipment and more time. As much as I adore Paula and so many of the residents, I hate not being really, really good at my job sometimes, and this one certainly isn't doing my (already messed up) back any good.
Damn discs.
I wonder if therapy is doing me any good. It does help me survive and gives me some much-needed perspective. Sometimes I think that I should just cut myself off from it and scrape by on my own, if I could. Because it appears that I'll most often be miserable anyway... why waste money trying not to be?
Maybe the sleep deprivation threw me into a major depression, somehow?
I seriously need a different job. I HATE it that I ever have to choose between giving it my all and having a back that functions. Yeah, when it comes down to it, I have to choose my back over working as fast as I need to there or whatever, but I need a place with less solo lifting of 300lb people and better equipment and more time. As much as I adore Paula and so many of the residents, I hate not being really, really good at my job sometimes, and this one certainly isn't doing my (already messed up) back any good.
Damn discs.