Entry # 111- Bleeding Love
Wow, the weather is awesome. Up in the mid 60's. Spring is here. Yay! I want to celebrate, but I can't, so won't ya'll celebrate for me? Jump up and down and laugh outloud for me. I wish I could. Maybe in the next life? I hope. Otherwise, I'm looking at an eternity of hell. Not funny, but oh so true. I would laugh if I could. I used to know of someone that made going to hell seem really funny. I used to laugh my tail off because of the things that he said. 'I'm going to hell and see many others coming after me.' It doesn't seem funny now, but the way that he described it was hilarious. And how I can relate. Especially to the one preacher that said no one's going to heaven. Everyone's going to hell. Women used to swoon when listening to him. He was so blunt about hell and damnation.
Ah, when you accept it, the thought of it isn't too duanting. What can one do, but accept it, if that is their fate? Believe it or not, there are some people who don't want to go to heaven. They hate Christ. I've met 'em before. Someone had an upside down cross tatooed on their forehead. It's not that he didn't believe in God. No, the contrary was true. His life had just been such crap and he thought it unfair that Christ would give some peace but not him. I must admit, I've felt the same.
And then you've got those people that genuinely don't believe in God. They think he is a myth. I can understand their thinking, though I could never believe that way. There is something inherent in me that believes in God, that will never change. I don't think we need proof. Look outside, damn it! Who created such beauty? The birds and the trees and the flowers? Who created it? How can it be an accident? A watch doesn't accidently come together. There is a watch maker. Just like there is a creation maker; the creator.
I have to believe
I do
I do
I do
Believe in you-
Heaven or hell
Don't know which way I'm bound
I only know it's you
It's you I've found.
Such grace
Such wrath
What will come in the aftermath
Are the rumors true
having to do with you?
I want to believe
Yes I do I do I do.
I used to feel it
But my emotions weren't true
So empty angry and confused
I just wanted answers
Answers from you.
And in my prayers
You were always there
I just need to trust
You'd take me anywhere
Up high
Down low
Where I'm going
I do not know
I only know
The truth.
Is that enough?
Is that enough for you?
And everyday I see the proof
The trees the birds the flowers-
Everything you made is ours
It rains
Yes it rains
On the just and the unjust.
Such beauty and magnificence
I hope someday I can relive it
Hope someday you'll give it
That joy I so desperately seek.
I will take you as you are
Near or far
And even though I can't see you
I know where you are
Everywhere
Yes, everywhere.
And I don't care what people say
You're gonna show yourself one day
In the form of your only begotten son
He is the only one-
The way
The truth
The light.
Didn't do much today. Took Eric to cracker barrel. I love cracker barrel. It must be my favorite restaurant. There is so much to choose from. Yeah, I'm still fat and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Bummer. I guess I'm stuck at 220. sigh. That really sux. Maybe in a few weeks or days I'll feel motivated to get serious about the atkins again. I hope so. For now, I'm just trying to maintain. As I've said before, my weight doesn't bother me, but it's not healthy. My blood isn't healthy. I am a stroke or a heartattack waiting to happen. Can't have that.. A life long struggle with heart disease? How fun is that? Not.
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. Thanks for all of the lovely comments, btw. <3