Entry # 95- Magnificent
Click to viewI wrote my pastor another letter. I think I'm gonna send this one...I think.
This entry is for strict christians only- or those who are considering becoming one....if you aren't a christian, you are welcome to read it, though you will be deeply offended. If you are a christian and you believe in freewill, this is your warning. You won't like this either, though I feel it necessary to write.
I chose this song, because christianity is on my mind. As most of us know, Bono, of U2 is a christian, and I believe that he is singing this song to God. I don't feel this kind of joy- not because christianity is untrue, but because I don't belong to it. With that being said, I would call myself a christian because I believe that Christ is the only way to the father. I believe in the bible as it testifies to that. I just want to make it clear, I am human. I could be wrong. I could be decieved, but I don't believe so.
I believe the bible when it says that many will seek the kingdom of heaven, but only a few will find it. Who are those people? the bible calls those people God's elect or the sheep. The sheep KNOW Christ. They may be mislead for a while, but overtime, the father reveals himself and his son to them, so they won't be decieved or mislead. The truth is, God's children are some of the most despicable people of the earth, but they have to repent and become like Christ. Who was Christ? He was the only begotten son of the father. He was the one who died on the cross for the sake of his elect. He paid for their sin. He spoke the truth in the bible. He said that he chose his elect and that his elect didn't choose him. Many people walked away from him on that day when they heard that.
I don't believe in free will. I believe in a doctrine called predestination. I understand that just because I know these things, doesn't mean I'm on my way to heaven. The will is bound in sin and can do no better. The only one good is God, that's what Christ said in the Bible. Christ birth's his children, through the holyspirit, which blows where it wills, not as we choose. Then and only then can we do good. Without Christ, everything we do is a sin, because it's all for selfpreservation. If Christ is in us, then our sins are covered, and the father only sees the good that is Christ in his elect.
It's complicated. This just scratches the surface and is the basics of christianity. According to the Bible, the world is apostate, which means without a death to self. Everything is self and serving self. Worshipping your own ideas of christ is self. Christ has a character and an authority on this earth, and that is never changing because he is perfect. He's coming back, soon and he will reveal his elect then. That is the mystery of the Bible in Revelations. The mystery is who the elect are. We won't know until the end of time, though there are a few earmarks to watch them by, though it's not my place to judge anyone. I am not elect. I am merely a vessel of wrath, fitted for destruction, and if I could I would live my life as sinfully as possible. I'm going to hell anyway. But I can't. So here I am typing this, uncaring of the consequences, knowing full well, that I have no reward.
God's elect speak the truth about God, no matter the consequences. They are expected to die for their beliefs and a lot of them have and do. God's elect seek peace, though they believe that God's wrath is coming upon this earth for the sin in it. All of this, all of it, is for them. The scourge of evil men make God's elect pure and without false doctrine. I AM a scourge. I AM the hand of God. I was created just for the purpose of spreading evil and serving myself. I did that and now I must face the consequences. What I believe is disturbing, I know. To believe that I have no choice in the matter, seems unfair, but God does it for his own glory, something we can't really understand. Well, I understand. He created us, he can do whatever he wants with us.
If someone calls themselves a christian, I believe them. And if someone doesn't call themselves a christian, I don't judge. I don't know that persons heart. Only God does. On the outside, I seem like a righteous person, but I am not. I am unmotivated, nonrepenting, nonfeeling, a child of hell. The bible says that the more we know the more accoutable we are. All of those children, dying of starvation in Africa, I believe are God's elect children. They don't know a thing and that keeps them safe. Yet, many people are decieved and that doesn't lead to God. Still, I am not Christ or the holyspirit, so I don't know who his elect are and I won't until the end. I may be surprised. And to think that I only know one out of hundred things that there are to know.
My only hope is that I don't know as much as I think I do, and God will forgive me for my ignorance. Or he willl damn me because of it. I'll have to wait and see, just like everyone else. My pastor used to say he could be a vessel of wrath, fitted for destruction, speaking the truth, despite it. I understand now what he means. A vessel of wrath fitted for destruction, isn't an elect. They spend their entire lives living for self and never repenting. They can't repent. God must supply it, through Christ. Repentance is changing from a sinful human being, to one that devotes themselves to the truth- The message of the mystery of the Bible, the story of God's elect.
Am I your child?
Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I ponder;
Without the gifts
I'm worthless
Peace and love and kindness-
Speaking the truth
To the elect who live in blindness.
My heart is hardened
Just like the pharoahs
And yet I don't worry
Just like the sparrows;
It is your choice
It is your voice
I live and die
Telling lies
About how I feel-
No more feelings
Just the truth.
This is deep I know and controversial, but it needs to be said. I don't know when and if I will ever post something like this again. I don't know if I can take the heat and for what purpose? To wake up in hell one day and to have more people reject it then believe in it? I wanted to be a part of the world and I was, briefly. I must admit, it was fun. No more fun for me.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comment area.
I am NOT judging anyone. That is NOT my place. I am merely speaking what I've studied in the bible and what I have learned to be true through experience.