Entry # 91- Bother
Click to viewWell, unfortunately, I had to start this entry over. For some reason, my poem and pic wasn't posting. So...I'll start again. Bummer.
It's Friday, so I treated Eric today to Cracker Barrel and EB games. Didn't do much else. I'm gonna try to have a good weekend, getting housework done and cooking. I got the cooking part down pat. I just need to add regular housekeeping to that. I do what I have to do! lol.
I thought about writing my old pastor a letter, just describing to him what it is that I have been going through these past few years. I would do it anonymously, cuz we didn't leave on good terms, even though I don't harbor any hard feelings. He is one of the only preachers I know that is really telling it like it is. He is full of blind pride though and he refuses to take instruction from others. I guess no one is perfect. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I will keep you updated.
I feel sick
Things I can't describe
It feels like his hand
Grips my heart like a glove.
Look at the gray skies above
What do you see?
Will you find my soul?
Will you see me?
It's cloudy and rainy
But my heart is stone
Clasped in his fist
Never to be his own.
I cannot cross
I cannot change
I cannot feel
I am the same.
Come and rescue me
But no one will
And no one can
It's not a part of God's plan.
Earth's little angels
I see them everywhere
But they can't touch me
Can't feel they care
And it doesn't matter
That they will get sadder-
Their tears mean nothing to me.
Nothing can save me
Nothing to enrage me;
I wish I was human
I was sane.
I can't be normal
I always feel the same.
I am the undead
Can you guess my name?
oh well. Another lame poem. If I had emotions, my poems would rock. I've read some of my poems when I still had feelings, and I was blown away by them. I don't mean to brag, but it's the truth. Now they suck. I can tell the difference between my poems then and my poems now. I don't even know why I bother. sigh.