See me comin' to town with my soul, Straight down out of the world with my fingers

[revengeisbitter]

Day: 30
Characters: Sasuke Uchiha [revengeisbitter] and Hige [apathywolf]
Summary: Time to find out what the fuck is wrong and fix it, once and for all.
DAY/NIGHT & Time: evening
Status: closed, incomplete

Comments

[apathywolf]

Hige didn't know what to do anymore for Sasuke. It had been days since he'd even seen Sasuke, let alone gotten to touch him again, hold him and protect him like the wolf knew that he was supposed to be doing the whole time, but had failed to do so. He had failed as a mate, and now Sasuke was crying and it just... The pain he felt being sick was nothing compared to how bad it was to see Sasuke like this.

He couldn't do anything other than pull Sasuke closer to him, holding him securely against the wolf's chest, rubbing his back reassuringly, wanting to somehow convey that this was real now, and that he wasn't going to push the ninja away, or let anything like before ever happen again.

Hige wanted nothing more than to just kiss Sasuke, make things like they had been just before he had been taken to therapy, before Suchong had done something to his collar that made him hate Sasuke, even though Hige couldn't fully bring himself to be angry at the doctor.

However, even thought he wanted to kiss the ninja, Hige was surprisingly aware that he'd been sick, and vomiting, and he didn't want to be disgusting for Sasuke. It was something that normally the wolf wouldn't have thought about usually, but he had been slowly being more self-conscious because of the other.

So he settled on just keeping Sasuke close, burying his face in the other's hair and taking in the scent that he'd missed for so long, that he was so familiar with.

"I won't..." He whispered softly, hoping that somehow it was making Sasuke feel better. "It's okay now. Everything is back to normal, and..." He wanted to say nothing bad would happen anymore, but he knew it would just be a lie in this place. "And I love you. So stop crying, okay?"

[revengeisbitter]

The hand massaging Sasuke's back was soothing, easing away some of the tension that had built up, freezing the muscles of his spine in place. He wanted to stop crying, stop being so weak, but--something wasn't letting him. Something was screaming from within him, telling him to let up, to release all the ugliness that had congealed around his heart and lungs and stomach--spit it out, in the only way he could.

It was that same thing, probably, that pulled him back, so he could really see Hige, and--god, the other boy looked--terrible. His face was pale, eyes sunken, cheeks hollow... His normally full, thick hair was drooping around his face limply, and his clothes looked even baggier than usual, and--he smelled. Like vomit, like sweat, like dirt--and Sasuke, who was normally relentlessly stubborn about hygiene, should have recoiled, hitting his friend with a pillow and swearing not to touch him until he'd at least brushed his teeth--

Instead, he remembered that he probably looked worse, and that he hadn't seen Hige's face for three days. Therefore, he leaned forward, and kissed Hige enthusiastically.

After a few moments, he pulled back, ignoring the taste in his mouth and the tears on his cheeks and the snot on his face and smiling weakly.

"...been wanting to do that for days..." he muttered, scrubbing at his eyes and flushing in embarrassment.

[apathywolf]

Hige didn't care that Sasuke seemed so weak at this moment, like he had broken finally under all the pressure that had just been lifted off of them. No, the wolf was okay with the other's tears, because he knew that it was something good, out of relief, and that he'd been crying for the wolf, something that Hige had never expected from anyone, and there was no way that he could ever fault or think less of his mate for that, for anything that could ever happen.

He loved Sasuke more than anything, and it bothered Hige immensely that the boy was so hurt by everything that happened, something that was the wolf's fault entirely. It hurt Hige to see Sasuke look so broken, so fragile in his arms, but he couldn't let himself show how weak he still felt, how powerless even though the collar had been torn off, he just needed to know that Sasuke was going to be okay.

The wolf was about to ask, about to try and soothe the ninja once again, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Sasuke had leaned forward and kissed him, the wolf's eyes going wide for a moment, tempted to recoil at first, but stayed put, shocked and overjoyed, and eventually kissed Sasuke back in a chaste fashion, still agonizingly aware of just how dirty he was compared to Sasuke.

Hige's head fell in embarrassment, stuttering a little after Sasuke muttered his words embarrassedly, and it pulled the wolf out of whatever guilty place he'd been lost in, a small smile tugging at his lips as he lightly nuzzled his cheek against Sasuke's.

"I missed you... I couldn't stop thinking about you, even when it hurt..." He flushed and lowered his head a little, before looking back up at Sasuke with a short laugh. "I should probably take a shower. That couldn't have tasted good. I can even smell me on you now, and it's not good."

[revengeisbitter]

Hige looked...different. Less lively, that was certain, but--it wasn't so much his face or hair rather than how strange it seemed now that his collar had been removed. There hadn't been a single moment in their time together in which Sasuke hadn't seen that collar on him, and now that it was off, it seemed--well, he looked different, and...

Better.

Sasuke's eyes were no longer drawn to that loop of leather, its metal plate...but rather the lines of Hige's throat and collarbone, and his shoulders, which looked stronger. Somehow, it seemed like a weight had been pulled off and ripped away from him, something the wolf boy had been carrying his whole life--revealing flesh and a skeleton and a body that could now grow in a direction it chose.

Hige was...free. Free of that fucking doctor, goddamnit, free of whoever had put that collar on his neck in the first place, free--to run wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, be his own person, once and for all.

Smiling gently--the widest smile he could manage--Sasuke shook his head, pressing another kiss to Hige's lips and holding it a moment longer. He sighed as be pulled away, wrapping his arms around his friend's neck again and pressing their bodies together. He'd never been so starved for physical contact in his life.

"I don't care about that for now," he muttered. "You're free now, you know? I--I hated that fucking collar. It meant you belong to someone else when you don't, you don't belong to anyone."

He pulled back slightly, scrubbing at his eyes again, cursing how bloated and sticky his face felt.

"Fuck... We should both shower... I must look like shit."

[apathywolf]

It had never even really occurred to Hige exactly what the loss of his collar had implied, but once Sasuke had mentioned it, the wolf finally realized that it really was gone, torn beyond repair. His shoulders didn't have the familiar weight anymore from the collar hanging loosely around his neck. When he was a wolf, it fit more snugly around his neck, but it had been so long since he'd been seen as a wolf, trapped in this human illusion that was now very real, that he almost had begun to wonder if he even truly was a wolf anymore at all.

Sasuke's words had even made him wonder if he'd ever been a wolf in the first place. Sure, he wasn't like Blue, who was half-wolf, or Toboe who was better suited as someone's pet than a wild and free canine, but he had been kept even worse that Toboe had, without even realizing it. He couldn't remember when he'd been given the collar, but it signified his ownership by Jagara, he could remember that much, and now that Suchong had used the collar to control him as well, Hige couldn't help but wonder if he'd probably been a pet since he was a pup, never really as free and Kiba or Tsume, or even Toboe had been.

He felt different without the collar on. It was better in a way, but he felt lost, and without any idea of who he was without it. He wasn't even sure he could even be called Hige anymore, since he didn't know who that really was. Was he still Hige, or was that just a poor wolf that had been born for a noble's purpose?

Sasuke gave him courage though, the ninja's words steeling his growing certainty that this was good, that as long as Sasuke was here, the wold could still be a wolf, even if he'd changed so much by being here. Sasuke was right, for the most part. Hige was free now, he wasn't a pet or a dog, in any sense now.

"That's not true, Sasuke," He whispered softly. "I still belong to you." He pulled the boy easily into his lap, the wolf's arms wrapping around the ninja's waist as he leaned in to kiss him again, instead going to Sasuke's neck, where the mark he'd made recently had already started to fade from them being apart so long, and kissing it lightly, choosing to spare Sasuke from the acrid taste that lingered still in the wolf's mouth.

"I don't belong to anyone anymore, but I gave myself to you willingly."

He smiled a little, his typical, carefree smile that had been a mask originally, but had over time gained true meaning, the wolf finally knowing what it meant to smile like he always had.

"You look perfect, Sasuke. Beautiful... And mine." He lightly lifted the other up a little, indicating it was time to get up. "I wouldn't mind some company though, especially yours."

[revengeisbitter]

It was curious, how steadily Sasuke's perceptions of things seemed to change, each part rolling over one another--transcending, changing. So many things had culminated here: reuniting with Naruto, facing off against Deidara, meeting Hige--and yet so many things had ended: nearly losing Naruto, nearly dying by Deidara's hand, being pulled away from Hige. He'd been so sure that somehow, the staff here would reach beyond the things that could heal and repair and find something in him that could never be replaced, taking it out and wrecking it forever.

He'd been so sure he'd lose Hige, just like he lost his family. He'd never imagined anything could induce the same fear, confusion and grief that night had inspired in him, but-- When he'd thought Hige would be taken away from him, after he'd revealed so much to the other boy, finally let himself out, let someone else in-- His throat had started to close, burning, his legs had shook, his eyes had prickled, and he'd just told himself over and over move, move, move...

He could count the times he'd felt fear like that on one hand, and... It surprised him, how similar the emotions had been. It surprised him, how easily he could slip into the guise of that frightened child, though this time--this time, he wasn't helpless.

He'd never let someone he loved die in front of him ever again.

A low purring sound rolled in his throat as he was pulled close, settling comfortably in Hige's lap and relishing the closeness. It was thrilling, how their hearts seemed to bounce back and forth again, striking each other somewhere between their bodies. Sasuke's jerked, twisted in midair at the sound of Hige's words, falling back into his chest, where it pumped blood vigorously straight to his face.

"I'd never treat you like--he did," he muttered, struggling to focus as Hige's lips trailed over the sensitive flesh of his throat. "You're free to make your own choices...though..."

He smirked at the other, shifting a little on his lap teasingly. "Except you aren't allowed to chase girls anymore. That's my only rule."

Blushing a little more at the compliment, and stood up reluctantly, tugging at Hige's hand and feeling like something had bubbled up in his chest, frothing merrily to the surface of himself. It took him a moment to realise it was happiness.

"You won't have any company but mine," he said simply. "Now come on... I'm spending all day with you, so you'd better not have any more plans. You're mine."