(no subject)
Im kinda freaked out about the fact that Im not freaked out more.
Like I am just picking up like it's another day, another step in my life, another person come and gone.
The person that has been glued to my side for the last eight months is gone.
and never will be there again.
so weird....
and friends that I spent so much time caring about, gone
I should be sad.
but I have no feelings one way or another
but the visual of them together does make me nauseous, so I do know that it affects me somehow.
And he acts like I am being crazy.
I am just ready for it to be over.
I have been for awhile.
I guess you stay, lured by the hope that things will change. but that's just stupid.
and I feel so relieved.
They deserve one another. They deserve their own backstabbings, shit talking, and secret hate for anyone other than themself.
I am ready to be around genuine people.
leave the divas alone.
and the ones that are true will be there.
time will tell.
I am not into playing the games that he is.
I am not going to campaign for my cause.
The people that want to see will, without me whispering in their ear.
And he thinks he will break me by bragging how everyone hates me.
he's reaching.
looking for any way he has left to hurt me.
He acts like he is so wronged.
why?
I didnt sleep with your friend.
I didnt say you didnt matter
I did not say the last year was a waste.
I just left.
after you pushed me out the door.
then you sit there and say "I dont understand"
I do not want to stay around somewhere haunted with so many memories.
Where everything reeks with the smell of you, where I get to worry about chance encounters and see the loathe in your eyes.
I want to be happy. My children need to be happy.
I am acting on that. If that makes you hate me then fine, so be it.
I am fixing my life NOW I dont see why I should have to wait another day, hour, minute.
you are so angry.
always
and being around you makes me into an angry person that I dont want to be.
I want to be happy.
why wont you let me?
just let me fix what you broke.
I am happy, let me stay that way.
Like I am just picking up like it's another day, another step in my life, another person come and gone.
The person that has been glued to my side for the last eight months is gone.
and never will be there again.
so weird....
and friends that I spent so much time caring about, gone
I should be sad.
but I have no feelings one way or another
but the visual of them together does make me nauseous, so I do know that it affects me somehow.
And he acts like I am being crazy.
I am just ready for it to be over.
I have been for awhile.
I guess you stay, lured by the hope that things will change. but that's just stupid.
and I feel so relieved.
They deserve one another. They deserve their own backstabbings, shit talking, and secret hate for anyone other than themself.
I am ready to be around genuine people.
leave the divas alone.
and the ones that are true will be there.
time will tell.
I am not into playing the games that he is.
I am not going to campaign for my cause.
The people that want to see will, without me whispering in their ear.
And he thinks he will break me by bragging how everyone hates me.
he's reaching.
looking for any way he has left to hurt me.
He acts like he is so wronged.
why?
I didnt sleep with your friend.
I didnt say you didnt matter
I did not say the last year was a waste.
I just left.
after you pushed me out the door.
then you sit there and say "I dont understand"
I do not want to stay around somewhere haunted with so many memories.
Where everything reeks with the smell of you, where I get to worry about chance encounters and see the loathe in your eyes.
I want to be happy. My children need to be happy.
I am acting on that. If that makes you hate me then fine, so be it.
I am fixing my life NOW I dont see why I should have to wait another day, hour, minute.
you are so angry.
always
and being around you makes me into an angry person that I dont want to be.
I want to be happy.
why wont you let me?
just let me fix what you broke.
I am happy, let me stay that way.