(no subject)
happy birthday to clay and to me for friday
had japanese for dindin in sydney with a bunch of delicious folk, and then went to purple sneakers after a few bottle of wine and a bottle of tequila.
needless to say the night was complete madness. soph was there, so it was just off the hook and we both lost our shit completely.
NOBODY could supply us with illicit substances so we had to make do with no doze and tequila all night, which always ends in madness anyway.
definitely feeling less than human now. massive shift in depths of soul, movment towards a dank sphere of otherwordly, self-perpetuated tragedy. feel like i've been on a massive speedball binge for the past week as i've been reading anthony kiedis' autobiography. definite urges to hit up some seedy backstreets and cop, even though the book never really romanticises his addiction, it merely advertises it relentlessly, since his life was so full of drug-use. seems like a logical thing to do whilst reading it, like going for maccas after watching tv for a few hours.
the book is great though.
as i said, feeling really weird. soph is here. which is fantastic, but it is weird.
when we were out on friday night, cliff was there, and i (after downing close to a bottle of tequila and 2 bottles of wine over the past few hours), got insanely paranoid. i started going crazy and arguing with both cliff and soph about how they wanted to fuck each other and how i know they wont act on it, but i can tell they are thinking it all the time. and no, i cant remember any sort of logic for those thoughts, and i cant even actually remember doing this paranoid routine, but soph assures me i had well and truly lost the plot. i definitely believe her.
i dont know what cliff thought, but i felt really bad and weird about it the next day and didnt get a chance to talk to him about it because i had to sign out of college by 9.30 am and left him in his bed.
i dont want to be a crazy jealous paranoid freak, but i know i get a bit like that when i'm off-chops. it was really bizarre. especially becauase i still have these weird niggling feelings about soph from that evening. based on nothing.
basically, i think i need to detox atleast for a few days, because my body and brain are just doing crazy slow-motion backflips about everything and anyone.
i've been holed up all day and started watching lolita, a stanley kubrick movie that isn't helping my disabled mind at the moment. such a strange movie. are they fucking? are they wanting to fuck? isnt she like 14 anyway? very trippy, and it doesn't help that peter sellers is retardedly funny and just playing a million characters. i have no idea what this movie means most of the time, not in terms of plot, but in terms of everything else - genre, motivation, comedy/tragedy. no idea.
this entry is weird.
being in newcastle is weird and 'moving home' for the holidays is even weirded. so strange. i really feel like i've moved out, and dont like coming back as if i have two homes. i dunno.
as i've said already, and in my inarticulate state will repeat again for full emphasis. it's all a bit weird.
had japanese for dindin in sydney with a bunch of delicious folk, and then went to purple sneakers after a few bottle of wine and a bottle of tequila.
needless to say the night was complete madness. soph was there, so it was just off the hook and we both lost our shit completely.
NOBODY could supply us with illicit substances so we had to make do with no doze and tequila all night, which always ends in madness anyway.
definitely feeling less than human now. massive shift in depths of soul, movment towards a dank sphere of otherwordly, self-perpetuated tragedy. feel like i've been on a massive speedball binge for the past week as i've been reading anthony kiedis' autobiography. definite urges to hit up some seedy backstreets and cop, even though the book never really romanticises his addiction, it merely advertises it relentlessly, since his life was so full of drug-use. seems like a logical thing to do whilst reading it, like going for maccas after watching tv for a few hours.
the book is great though.
as i said, feeling really weird. soph is here. which is fantastic, but it is weird.
when we were out on friday night, cliff was there, and i (after downing close to a bottle of tequila and 2 bottles of wine over the past few hours), got insanely paranoid. i started going crazy and arguing with both cliff and soph about how they wanted to fuck each other and how i know they wont act on it, but i can tell they are thinking it all the time. and no, i cant remember any sort of logic for those thoughts, and i cant even actually remember doing this paranoid routine, but soph assures me i had well and truly lost the plot. i definitely believe her.
i dont know what cliff thought, but i felt really bad and weird about it the next day and didnt get a chance to talk to him about it because i had to sign out of college by 9.30 am and left him in his bed.
i dont want to be a crazy jealous paranoid freak, but i know i get a bit like that when i'm off-chops. it was really bizarre. especially becauase i still have these weird niggling feelings about soph from that evening. based on nothing.
basically, i think i need to detox atleast for a few days, because my body and brain are just doing crazy slow-motion backflips about everything and anyone.
i've been holed up all day and started watching lolita, a stanley kubrick movie that isn't helping my disabled mind at the moment. such a strange movie. are they fucking? are they wanting to fuck? isnt she like 14 anyway? very trippy, and it doesn't help that peter sellers is retardedly funny and just playing a million characters. i have no idea what this movie means most of the time, not in terms of plot, but in terms of everything else - genre, motivation, comedy/tragedy. no idea.
this entry is weird.
being in newcastle is weird and 'moving home' for the holidays is even weirded. so strange. i really feel like i've moved out, and dont like coming back as if i have two homes. i dunno.
as i've said already, and in my inarticulate state will repeat again for full emphasis. it's all a bit weird.