Don't Push Me 'Cause I'm Close to the Edge...
Hey everyone!
I know it has been a while... I'm really going through a lot (but who isn't) Alot of ups and downs... Alot of pressure... I just don't know how I'm going to make it right now.
...And I get so tired of people telling me how strong I am or how strong they thought I was. I mean sometimes I just want a hug and someone to hear me out. Or better yet, I just want to get out and move as far away as I can. I don't feel close to anyone here (in my city/school/home) anymore...and those that try or once were will never get too close because I am tired of getting hurt. Talking behind my back or saying hurtful things to my face...I just don't get it because I'm not like that at all. Then once I've had enough and I stand up for myself then I get labeled "crazy black woman" or "jelous" etc. I'm human...I hurt too...and I don't know what to do. I've tried everything to distract me from death...but all my attempts are hopeless. I feel stuck. I'm so frustrated. I mean if life is survival of the fittest then I am out of shape.
And I am very spiritual...I read the Bible and go to church. But it's hard to change when the other's around you aren't changing. The only thing keeping me sane is mucic. Isn't that crazy? I've discovered so many new artists...I've even started writing a few lyrics. I also wrote a poem thats real interesting...
We'll see...we'll see... I'll be a senior this summer and when I finish I'm moving. I just hope I can make it...ya'll pray for me.
What do you all do when you are at your boiling points?
