Sporking of a Nazi text
Sporking of a text linked to in a comm about food in fiction (http://community.livejournal.com/food_in_fiction/). Written in the 1940s, of course. It's about 'lemons are bad because they're not native'. Well, I didn't know the stupid reached this far.
Original text here: http://ratmmjess.livejournal.com/213384.html
Parting from a mistress of many years' standing--she can go and need not come back again
Lemons are so last week!
We Germans do not think now as we did during the years of our love affair with thee.
Note: Germans sucked lemons (see further).
We have grasped the meaning of "blood and soil,"
Not. Er, well, I'm a tall ship. I can't understand.
and know that our people can survive the life struggle between the nations only if they do not squander their wealth on foreign mistresses,
Stop fucking around, guys. Inbreeding is in this week. BTW, why does it have to be all about sex? Ah, those humans...
and preserve the type bestowed on them by the Creator.
and their inbred parents
Type, character, and accomplishments are determined by the constitution of the blood,
Genes. You already knew that.
and the blood, in turn, is determined by the soil.
I laugh at your statement and inquire as to what it means.
Only the fruits of the German earth-clod can create German blood. Through them only are transmitted to the blood, and thence to the body and the soul, those delicate
Not.
vibrations which determine the German type. That type is unique the whole world over, because there is but one German soil on the earth.
You never went out, did you? Everybody is unique.
Farewell lemon, we need thee not! Our German rhubarb will take thy place fully and entirely.
Rhubarb is from Asia. Kthnxbai.
He is so unpretending that we overlooked and despised him, busy with infatuation for foreign things.
Oops you did it again.
In all our shires we can have him in masses, the whole year round. We get him almost for nothing; his tartness will season our salads and vegetable dishes. Slightly sweetened he provides us with delicious refreshment, and, what is more, he is a blood-purifying and medicinal agent true to German type. Let us make good with German rhubarb the sins we have committed with the alien lemon.
May I point out that cannabis is illegal in most countries, including yours. Stop smoking. There's nothing like a panacea. And aliens are not going to abduct you.
So, out with thee, ingrate daughter of the South;
WTF, South has nothing to do with this shit. Who's next, Krisprolls?
out with thee from our German shires and homes! We will not see thee more, thou wanton creature. After all the catastrophes and sufferings into which our dealings with the alien spirit and its products have driven us,
Note: Klingons are on the loose trying to sell gagh.
let us fashion new German offspring out of the only material which can make them marrowy, true to type, and German--out of the fruits of our German Mother Earth.
Try potatoes, next time. Not. And... Mother Earth? Did you convert to Native American religions?