I don't think he can see me
as more than a friend. I have never given him any hints that I like him. Ever. Because I'm so scared.
What does he care? With his wrinkled polos, and his ruffled hair, what does he care? what does he care about how I feel about him? Guys like him don't see people like me. Guys like him don't like guys like me. We exist to be his study partner in Meyer library, to get coffee with him every now and then at Moonbeans. I don't understand. He knows who I am. He knows the dynamic of our interaction. He enjoys the witty banter that my company provides, but does he not see the chemistry? He still doesn't see me. I might as well still be that high school nerd-socialite who floats effortlessly between groups, with spiky gelled hair and the unattractive glasses, the boy who don't get asked out on dates because it didn't occur to him to ask me. All those late night studying with him and joking with him and laughing with him and it never once occur to him that I may like him more than a friend.
It's okay.
What does he care? With his wrinkled polos, and his ruffled hair, what does he care? what does he care about how I feel about him? Guys like him don't see people like me. Guys like him don't like guys like me. We exist to be his study partner in Meyer library, to get coffee with him every now and then at Moonbeans. I don't understand. He knows who I am. He knows the dynamic of our interaction. He enjoys the witty banter that my company provides, but does he not see the chemistry? He still doesn't see me. I might as well still be that high school nerd-socialite who floats effortlessly between groups, with spiky gelled hair and the unattractive glasses, the boy who don't get asked out on dates because it didn't occur to him to ask me. All those late night studying with him and joking with him and laughing with him and it never once occur to him that I may like him more than a friend.
It's okay.