Let it not to be
This alley again. Leaves are growing yellow, blue sky overhead, warmth and joy cause I have strength but at the same time some vacuum as usually.
As it's sang by Grebenschikov - "there're no fortuities". Don't remember the name of that song. Is he right or wrong - whatever. I believe in his creation until it's still playing. Afterwards...
Not about that now.
I had hair cut for 13:30. I should have gotten church in about an hour. I've invented that if I didn't go there, something bad would exactly happen.
- Do you still believe that everything happens because of his wish?
- I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.
I've noticed sign-board "church closed till 13.30". Perhaps, there also were apologizes.
You go to the god but he closes doors and apologizes.
Well... I was crippling away. I wanted so much to ride on longboard along this alley but my leg reminded me about herself all the time.
Finally, most of my mop has fallen on the floor because of my wish and will. Looked like Beatles, now look like Kaiser Chiefs.
I love September sunny days. They kinda contain more than all the rest times. Days of fading, transition from the time about which you'll regret that you had done so little. Days of romantic melancholy, joy from trees and fields and empty roads in villages. Dreams, dreams about boyhood, about something that seemed to happen but turned out to be just crazy dream.
And the best band for this daydreaming - Amy McDonald. She does believe in what she's singing. So that's easier for me to believe too. Her songs so clear and innocent that I want to sing them too.
My dreams are always crazy, stupid, absurd, strange but very interesting. They don't look like the Hell and the Paradise. It's just rave, hallucinations. So I conclude that it's not some things from not material world.