redeem July
fun money
my mood was low today, no reason, much, lately it's been slipping that way. but i don't work tomorrow, so things are good enough. been applying for new jobs elsewhere. met with no obvious success yet. and obvious success is the most immediately useful. been reading this book. i've always been susceptible to speech rhythms. also, weed, not very much, but enough, for the first time in some time. (very bricky, very cheap, but beggars, you know, also i think it was a gift, this little amount, so... this causes angst-- i am smoking Cartman's gift.) even so, better than the legal vices, i swear. my general bad mood, the now cyclically predictable thing, feels a bit more cheerful than it has as of lately. being stalled isn't so bad with something to make the time pass more kindly. not that my time is unkind, exactly.
okay okay, who cares.
i got really mad at the "Iowa Living" section of the "Des Moines Register" today. Mom said to me, where you got all mad, i just felt like crying. i prefer the crying to the anger. i really do. it's a lot more useful. but.
watching Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, sorta, now. not very well. but i don't think it expects to be watched very well, the first time, at the very least.
i think, i can't post in this thing if i'm not at least drunkish. like, liquid courage, they say, and they're right.
the nights i have been drunk, lately, i was in public, with people, and that was far more satisfying and useful for the interaction-urge than the internet. but, tonight, as the Des Moines-y schwag begins to run out, as work & death & activity become increasingly scary, booze again seems like a very plausible alternative. "demon rum," yeah. for now. "but i had to do it drunk"!
my mood was low today, no reason, much, lately it's been slipping that way. but i don't work tomorrow, so things are good enough. been applying for new jobs elsewhere. met with no obvious success yet. and obvious success is the most immediately useful. been reading this book. i've always been susceptible to speech rhythms. also, weed, not very much, but enough, for the first time in some time. (very bricky, very cheap, but beggars, you know, also i think it was a gift, this little amount, so... this causes angst-- i am smoking Cartman's gift.) even so, better than the legal vices, i swear. my general bad mood, the now cyclically predictable thing, feels a bit more cheerful than it has as of lately. being stalled isn't so bad with something to make the time pass more kindly. not that my time is unkind, exactly.
okay okay, who cares.
i got really mad at the "Iowa Living" section of the "Des Moines Register" today. Mom said to me, where you got all mad, i just felt like crying. i prefer the crying to the anger. i really do. it's a lot more useful. but.
watching Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, sorta, now. not very well. but i don't think it expects to be watched very well, the first time, at the very least.
i think, i can't post in this thing if i'm not at least drunkish. like, liquid courage, they say, and they're right.
the nights i have been drunk, lately, i was in public, with people, and that was far more satisfying and useful for the interaction-urge than the internet. but, tonight, as the Des Moines-y schwag begins to run out, as work & death & activity become increasingly scary, booze again seems like a very plausible alternative. "demon rum," yeah. for now. "but i had to do it drunk"!