(no subject)
tell me what you really think about me. you know you want to....
I put that in my journal a while back, but i figured i'd throw it again just for kicks. or shits and giggles as kap puts it. anyway... haven't been keeping up with my posts, there just isn't enough time to do the things i enjoy anymore. i got my PSAT scores back-- they didn't lose them after all.... well i won't post my total score but i will say how annoyed i am about my score for the writing section. i got a 780. which is great right? 99th percentile and all... but does it count for anything- NOOOO! ARGGGHHYLPLLLLGGGGRAAAAP!!!! the sound of aggravation, and the realization that Murphy's Law always wins out
venting over. anyway, i'm talking to the infamous Danny Landau- just back from a trip to Israel, and he asked me, and i copy paste:
pt Z at Z a1000 (4:52:59 PM): hows life?
and i answered:
Starzz133 (4:53:11 PM): life is.... mediocre.
and that was really the best word i could think of to describe it. and i thought about it a little harder, and more and more that word seemed to be appropriate. mediocre. and i mean mediocre in the worst sense of the word, with all the negative connotation that is usually associted with it.
life isn't horrible. i'm not legless and living on the street, i'm not terminally ill or manic depressed or living under oppression in a third world country. i would say i've got it pretty good. typical upper-middle class family, get good grades, i don't want for food or clothing, go on vacation pretty regularly, go to camp, etc etc. i know that i've got it better than most, and i appreciate what i've got. I won't go off on the pathetic rant of a jaded rich girl. but despite all these things, i still find my life to be mediocre. unfulfilling. blah.
theres nothing right now that i get sooo insanely hyper-excited about, nothing that i can tell people to the reaction of "wow thats so amazing!" i don't want to settle for blah. i want to do something exciting, life changing, worth-while. something that will leave in imprint, because as the days pass now they just all seem to mesh into one long span of... mediocrity.
on a high note. i'm sleeping better now. no more anxiety attacks. it was the chemistry test that was doing it, and only one more day until i find out if my massive amounts of studying did any good.
so now's the time to shovel some food in my mouth and go to play practice for three hours of... loveliness? an by that i mean hell. and by that i mean eleven. reunion is on saturday :)
lynda*asterisk
I put that in my journal a while back, but i figured i'd throw it again just for kicks. or shits and giggles as kap puts it. anyway... haven't been keeping up with my posts, there just isn't enough time to do the things i enjoy anymore. i got my PSAT scores back-- they didn't lose them after all.... well i won't post my total score but i will say how annoyed i am about my score for the writing section. i got a 780. which is great right? 99th percentile and all... but does it count for anything- NOOOO! ARGGGHHYLPLLLLGGGGRAAAAP!!!! the sound of aggravation, and the realization that Murphy's Law always wins out
venting over. anyway, i'm talking to the infamous Danny Landau- just back from a trip to Israel, and he asked me, and i copy paste:
pt Z at Z a1000 (4:52:59 PM): hows life?
and i answered:
Starzz133 (4:53:11 PM): life is.... mediocre.
and that was really the best word i could think of to describe it. and i thought about it a little harder, and more and more that word seemed to be appropriate. mediocre. and i mean mediocre in the worst sense of the word, with all the negative connotation that is usually associted with it.
life isn't horrible. i'm not legless and living on the street, i'm not terminally ill or manic depressed or living under oppression in a third world country. i would say i've got it pretty good. typical upper-middle class family, get good grades, i don't want for food or clothing, go on vacation pretty regularly, go to camp, etc etc. i know that i've got it better than most, and i appreciate what i've got. I won't go off on the pathetic rant of a jaded rich girl. but despite all these things, i still find my life to be mediocre. unfulfilling. blah.
theres nothing right now that i get sooo insanely hyper-excited about, nothing that i can tell people to the reaction of "wow thats so amazing!" i don't want to settle for blah. i want to do something exciting, life changing, worth-while. something that will leave in imprint, because as the days pass now they just all seem to mesh into one long span of... mediocrity.
on a high note. i'm sleeping better now. no more anxiety attacks. it was the chemistry test that was doing it, and only one more day until i find out if my massive amounts of studying did any good.
so now's the time to shovel some food in my mouth and go to play practice for three hours of... loveliness? an by that i mean hell. and by that i mean eleven. reunion is on saturday :)
lynda*asterisk