stuff
yeah, so in the past week, since i haven't been able to go out and do anything, i've had a lot of time to think about a lot of stuff. i'll put all the philosophical shit behind a cut so you don't have to read it if you don't want to, assuming anyone is even reading this. anyways, one of the things that i've been doing is messing around with facebook, looking up people that i know and friending them. in the past week, i think i've added at least 30 people, maybe even more, but the thing that is interesting is that i ran into a few facebook profiles of people that i knew in middle school, and haven't talked to since then. i think it's neat that its possible to find people like that and have the opportunity to catch up with them or whatever and know what they're up to now. so i'm up to 180 friends now, and am debating whether or not i should stop at 187 and just leave it at that.
another thing i've learned is that i probably shouldn't watch sports with other people around. i tend to get into the games, especially if i'm a big fan of one of the teams. this evening, it was the US vs. Guatemala soccer game for world cup qualifying. despite the fact that the US team kicked ass and won 2-0, the officiating was horrible. and me being who i am, whenever there was a bad call, i tended to yell. for the big ones, i yelled quite a bit. to the point where i'm sure i was really annoying my roommate.
so one of the things that i've been thinking about recently, i'm really not sure why, but for some reason i have been, is love. this isn't something i've been thinking about recently, it's been since around the semester break, maybe earlier, that i started thinking about it. more recently, because i haven't been able to go out and do anything, i've spent a lot of time thinking. what is love? is love and emotion, like anger or joy. is it something you feel, like those emotions? or is it something more? being happy, sad, angry, all of those things are fleeting, temporary. a person is sad because they lost a game, or get a bad grade on an assignment. but then you go back home or to your room and have a snack and watch tv and feel happy. is love like that, one moment you love someone and another you don't? or is it something deeper, something permanent? often times people use love as a synonym for like, such as loving a tv show or food or something. this is a common use for the word, but is that really love? or again, is it something deeper, something with more of a commitment to it. can you love a thing? or can you only love a person? i've been thinking, trying to answer these questions. to me, love is something deeper. you can't love a thing, you like things. and again, love is not an emotion in the same context as joy or anger; it is more permanent than those. which leads into another question, is there a difference between "love" and being "in love?" is it possible to love someone but not be in love with them? or are they one and the same? society tends to lean towards the latter, saying that loving someone means being in love with him/her. but is this really true? i don't think so, but then what is the difference? to me, i guess, love is a deep caring, to the point where this other person is more important, to an extent, than you are. you are willing to make sacrifices for this person, whether it is time or something else, to the point where the ultimate sacrifice, one's life, could be made for a person. it does take work, though, to love someone. it isn't as simple as just liking something, such as a video game. it requires sacrifices constantly. what does one get out of love, though? is there some reward for the effort? there isn't anything tangible, that's definite. loving people doesn't give you more money or a better job. it doesn't result in a fancy car. but at the same time, there are rewards. the one thing that i have learned is that if you are there for someone when they need you, when the time comes that you need someone, they will be there for you. if you support someone in need, more often than not, they will turn around and support you when you need it. i have experienced this first-hand many times. love, therefore, is something that can be given to all; looking briefly at my buddy list on AIM (172 names), and my friends list on facebook(180 names), i'd say i love at least 90% of them, perhaps more. but am i in love with any of them? what is being in love? what does it involve that love does not; how much farther does it go? there is some connection, some bond, between two people, that exists when they are in love, that does not exist otherwise. and how can you describe this bond? can you? i'll use liz as an example for this. throughout high school, we became very close. we developed a bond that i don't have with anyone else, there are things that i can't go to anyone else with, because of this bond. do i love her? yes, i can say for sure that i love her. am i in love with her? i don't know. probably not, but is there any way to be sure? the same goes for other relationships with other people. i love a lot of other people, i can say that for sure, but am i in love with any of them? i don't know. is it like obscenity to justice potter stewart, where i don't know what it is, but i'll know it when i see it? or is it possible that it will pass me by, that i'll fail to recognize it when it appears? not that this is a concern of mine, i'm just wondering. the other question is, does love have to go both ways? if i love a person, does that mean that they love me back? or is it possible for me to love someone who is indifferent, or who dislikes or hates me? since love is simply my caring for them, i guess it is possible. is it possible to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you? or is it necessary for the feelings to go both ways. if being in love does, indeed, require a bond of some sort, then it has to go both ways; you cannot be in love with someone who is not in love with you as well.
so yeah, that's what's been going on in my life. in other news, i'm going to field training this summer at Ellsworth AFB in south dakota. i leave 22 june and get back 21 july, so i'll be home for my birthday.
another thing i've learned is that i probably shouldn't watch sports with other people around. i tend to get into the games, especially if i'm a big fan of one of the teams. this evening, it was the US vs. Guatemala soccer game for world cup qualifying. despite the fact that the US team kicked ass and won 2-0, the officiating was horrible. and me being who i am, whenever there was a bad call, i tended to yell. for the big ones, i yelled quite a bit. to the point where i'm sure i was really annoying my roommate.
so one of the things that i've been thinking about recently, i'm really not sure why, but for some reason i have been, is love. this isn't something i've been thinking about recently, it's been since around the semester break, maybe earlier, that i started thinking about it. more recently, because i haven't been able to go out and do anything, i've spent a lot of time thinking. what is love? is love and emotion, like anger or joy. is it something you feel, like those emotions? or is it something more? being happy, sad, angry, all of those things are fleeting, temporary. a person is sad because they lost a game, or get a bad grade on an assignment. but then you go back home or to your room and have a snack and watch tv and feel happy. is love like that, one moment you love someone and another you don't? or is it something deeper, something permanent? often times people use love as a synonym for like, such as loving a tv show or food or something. this is a common use for the word, but is that really love? or again, is it something deeper, something with more of a commitment to it. can you love a thing? or can you only love a person? i've been thinking, trying to answer these questions. to me, love is something deeper. you can't love a thing, you like things. and again, love is not an emotion in the same context as joy or anger; it is more permanent than those. which leads into another question, is there a difference between "love" and being "in love?" is it possible to love someone but not be in love with them? or are they one and the same? society tends to lean towards the latter, saying that loving someone means being in love with him/her. but is this really true? i don't think so, but then what is the difference? to me, i guess, love is a deep caring, to the point where this other person is more important, to an extent, than you are. you are willing to make sacrifices for this person, whether it is time or something else, to the point where the ultimate sacrifice, one's life, could be made for a person. it does take work, though, to love someone. it isn't as simple as just liking something, such as a video game. it requires sacrifices constantly. what does one get out of love, though? is there some reward for the effort? there isn't anything tangible, that's definite. loving people doesn't give you more money or a better job. it doesn't result in a fancy car. but at the same time, there are rewards. the one thing that i have learned is that if you are there for someone when they need you, when the time comes that you need someone, they will be there for you. if you support someone in need, more often than not, they will turn around and support you when you need it. i have experienced this first-hand many times. love, therefore, is something that can be given to all; looking briefly at my buddy list on AIM (172 names), and my friends list on facebook(180 names), i'd say i love at least 90% of them, perhaps more. but am i in love with any of them? what is being in love? what does it involve that love does not; how much farther does it go? there is some connection, some bond, between two people, that exists when they are in love, that does not exist otherwise. and how can you describe this bond? can you? i'll use liz as an example for this. throughout high school, we became very close. we developed a bond that i don't have with anyone else, there are things that i can't go to anyone else with, because of this bond. do i love her? yes, i can say for sure that i love her. am i in love with her? i don't know. probably not, but is there any way to be sure? the same goes for other relationships with other people. i love a lot of other people, i can say that for sure, but am i in love with any of them? i don't know. is it like obscenity to justice potter stewart, where i don't know what it is, but i'll know it when i see it? or is it possible that it will pass me by, that i'll fail to recognize it when it appears? not that this is a concern of mine, i'm just wondering. the other question is, does love have to go both ways? if i love a person, does that mean that they love me back? or is it possible for me to love someone who is indifferent, or who dislikes or hates me? since love is simply my caring for them, i guess it is possible. is it possible to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you? or is it necessary for the feelings to go both ways. if being in love does, indeed, require a bond of some sort, then it has to go both ways; you cannot be in love with someone who is not in love with you as well.
so yeah, that's what's been going on in my life. in other news, i'm going to field training this summer at Ellsworth AFB in south dakota. i leave 22 june and get back 21 july, so i'll be home for my birthday.