(no subject)
i hate when i purge my breakfast.
now i am going to feel awfu for the rest of the day.
i always convince myself after meals that i am *just* going to go pee. and then i am sitting there, thinking that maybe i just want the feeling. so i stick my finger d own my throat, i tell myself i don't want to vomit but i just want to feel that wretch. i do it once and my stomach turns.
but i can't stop, and i tell myself i will only purge a little bit of it, just enough to ease my stomach.
but we all know it all c o mes out.
and i've done this for the past week.
i am living in a fantasy world that i like to pretend i can control.ÕP‹!
now i am going to feel awfu for the rest of the day.
i always convince myself after meals that i am *just* going to go pee. and then i am sitting there, thinking that maybe i just want the feeling. so i stick my finger d own my throat, i tell myself i don't want to vomit but i just want to feel that wretch. i do it once and my stomach turns.
but i can't stop, and i tell myself i will only purge a little bit of it, just enough to ease my stomach.
but we all know it all c o mes out.
and i've done this for the past week.
i am living in a fantasy world that i like to pretend i can control.ÕP‹!