Bring out your dead!
Thank you, once again, Team Merlin Party.
Merlin Party: It's like having a hobby where you punch yourself in the face.
Merlin opens (after reminding you of the premise of the series) with a sexy lady doing mysterious things in a cave involving water and mud and an egg inscribed with runes. The ominous music tells us she's evil, and the episode title tells us that this is Nimue, so we will, eventually, and hopefully, get to see another character of Arthurian legend utterly bastardized.
A young peasant schmuck in Camelot takes a drink from a pump and Nimue mutters some cryptic Latin-y stuff - could it be that she has done something /evil to the water/?
Judging by the dead peasant Gayus and Merlin are inspecting after the opening screen, I would say yes. The very blue corpse means that Gayus is going to have ample opportunity to play CSI: Camelot this episode.
There follows a not-at-all ominously foreshadowing of Gwen and her father hugging and parting for the day, with Gwen having lovingly made her father a sandwich. I'm sure Gwen's father will become not-at-all ill in the course of this episode. (It is also worth noting that Gwen, who is black, has a black father. Who is the blacksmith. He is, indeed, a /black/ smith, and you can discuss amongst yourselves what the BBC deserves for that.) Gwen proceeds on her way with a bouquet of flowers and stops to either horribly flirt with Merlin or accuse him of homosexuality by specifically offering him a purple flower ("Purple suits you") and going on to report to Morgana.
I still don't know why none of these servants live near the people they're supposed to be serving.
When Gwen gets to Morgana's rooms, it is TOTAL LESBIANS, with Gwen giving Morgana the flowers, and Morgana telling Gwen that she makes Morgana feel better after a long, sleepless night.
Sadly, we must leave the lesbians and suffer through a lot of CSI: Camelot. Gayus tells us that they can't use magic to solve this (totally magic) disease, but they must use SCIENCE. The majority of Gayus' lines for the rest of the episode can be summed up as: SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE. Because, as you know, in the Middle Ages, there was a /huge/ difference between science and magic. Gayus drags Merlin away from a dying man in the street and goes on a long talk about how they must not use magic, even to save lives, and only rely on SCIENCE. SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE. Because magic is evil. Depending on how you use it. But if you use it, you'll eventually go evil. Luckily, Gayus is interrupted by Arthur breaking in to search through all the houses in town for the source of the magical plague.
SHIT HAS MERLIN HIDDEN HIS MAGIC BOOK?
No. No he hasn't.
Luckily, Arthur is more interested in critiquing how tidy Merlin keeps his rooms, and doesn't notice the magic book under all the clothes scattered around Merlin's room.
As soon as Arthur and his soldiers leave, Merlin's once again on about how he wants to use his magic to save the people in this totally safe and not-at-all paranoid environment. No magic, only science. WE GET IT.
We also get our first glimpse of the monster lurking in the water supply. It's terrible and cheesey and kind of bad CGI Clayface.
There is a brief interlude where Giles tells Arthur how hard it is to be an evil, paranoid Dictator.
OH GOD MORE CSI: CAMELOT.
AND WHO THE HELL JUST DRINKS STRAIGHT WATER IN THE MIDDLE AGES?
Ahem.
Oh my goodness, Gwen (who is dressed like Little Red Riding Hood) has found her ill father in bed! She runs to Gayus, begging for his aid. In this episode, Gwen is playing the part of Helpless Victim and Devoted Daughter. Merlin is, of course, incensed that the father of someone he knows has the plague, and that is all the excuse he needs to go and rebelliously break into Gwen's house and save her father's life (once he has assaulted and avoided the guards - specifically, the black guard).
Man, when an episode goes from one day to the next, there are always these great scenes of all these covered corpses in the castle courtyard.
Gayus goes to explain to Giles and Arthur about the source of the plague and Giles, in a shocking and out of character display, sends Arthur off to work even harder to find the damn dirty witch in the city who's pissing in the water.
Meanwhile, Merlin shows his /sheer genius/ by poking in on Gwen and asking if her father's better. He is! Gwen is baffled as to how Merlin knew, since /every other person/ who was sick /died/ within the day.
You know who else is baffled by this development? Arthur! Who finds Gwen's dad happy, healthy, and blacksmithing. Gwen's dad does absolutely nothing to make Arthur less suspicious and, indeed, points out that the only one who was there for Black the Smith's miraculous recovery was Gwen. Arthur and his soldiers break into the blacksmith's hut and find the collection of herbs Merlin stuck in the pillow, and, in the blink of an eye, Arthur is arresting Gwen and his soldiers are dragging Gwen off.
Morgana thinks this is bullshit, because in this episode, she has spun the female character stereotype of being the one who is always right and sees the truth, while Giles and his hot-headed son are thinking with their penises (and desire to chop off some heads).
Merlin is, of course, shocked by this development, and runs off to save Gwen (who is getting lots of scenes to dramatic music as she's dragged around by the guards and treated like shit). Morgana interrupts Gwen's not-trial to try and defend her girlfriend, but, man, Giles has a hard-on for potential beheadings, and logic will not sway him. Giving Gwen a chance to cry and beg for her life to the sound of /swelling violins/. When she's gone, Morgana tries to argue that Gwen is a filthy, hard-done-by servant, and if she could do magic, she'd be cleaner and wouldn't suffer. Even Arthur tries to join in the logic party, but Giles demands death.
Merlin bemoans the consequences of his stupid actions to Gayus, and runs off to see Gwen in prison (I guess that even in crazy Dictator-state Camelot, that's allowed). There is a dramatic and teary scene between them, according to the music and the tears on Gwen's face. Gwen begs Merlin "not to forget her" (gag), and Merlin vows to save Gwen's life ...
By breaking in on a meeting of Giles' and claiming he's the evil sorcerer. Gayus tries to save Merlin by pointing out that he's an idiot. When Giles decides it's time for Merlin's episodic arrest, Arthur throws himself between Merlin and Giles, pointing out that Merlin couldn't have done it because he has a grave mental disease (this is the best part of the episode) and he's trying to save Gwen's life because he's in love with her. Everyone has a good laugh at Merlin's expense, Arthur beats his idiot head a bit, and Merlin's saved from an execution.
Gayus is still on his CSI: Camelot kick, and drags Merlin down to some caves (without dragons in) to find proof of the mud monster. Merlin runs down to tell Gwen she's totally going to be saved, but Gwen ignores him, sensibly. And, since it's not so far from the dungeons, Merlin also goes to see John Hurt the Last Bad CGI Dragon.
The Last Bad CGI Dragon talks like a fortune cookie about the elements and Merlin's fate with Arthur, but there are whole /seconds/ of previous unseen dragon CGI. It's almost like we haven't seen this before! Almost.
Back at Gayus', Merlin gets a lecture on the elements. And THE SCIENTIFIC PROCESS.
The important thing is that Merlin, and Arthur, have to go light some shit on fire. And Morgana invites herself along, with some of her "feminist" sniping at Arthur. This would be as annoying as all of the other "feminist" bits with Morgana, but she delivers the totally random and hilarious line that Merlin is "a lover", unlike Arthur, and that's why he's willing to save Gwen.
Morgana makes a bit deal out of being included on the quest to destroy Clayface, so of course when the monster is finally found, she spends a lot of time screaming and being in the way. Merlin has to use his magic to make the fire strong enough to destroy Clayface, but luckily Arthur is selectively blind when it comes to magic. Morgana, who comes to have a talk about Merlin's "secret" and what she "Saw", turns out to have seen nothing, and is, in fact, referring to Merlin's deep, passionate love for Gwen.
Because she is a girl and it is all about boys and relationships for girls, as she's misplaced her time-travelling feminist card once more by the end of the episode.
Oh, and Gayus explains about the source of the plague to Giles, so Gwen can go free, and Giles can be ominous about the events in his past that made him so gosh darn keen about killing witches.
Next time: Arthur has to risk his life to save Merlin, or Merlin MIGHT DIE. Either this episode will be delightfully gay, or Merlin will die, so it's win-win.
Merlin Party: It's like having a hobby where you punch yourself in the face.
Merlin opens (after reminding you of the premise of the series) with a sexy lady doing mysterious things in a cave involving water and mud and an egg inscribed with runes. The ominous music tells us she's evil, and the episode title tells us that this is Nimue, so we will, eventually, and hopefully, get to see another character of Arthurian legend utterly bastardized.
A young peasant schmuck in Camelot takes a drink from a pump and Nimue mutters some cryptic Latin-y stuff - could it be that she has done something /evil to the water/?
Judging by the dead peasant Gayus and Merlin are inspecting after the opening screen, I would say yes. The very blue corpse means that Gayus is going to have ample opportunity to play CSI: Camelot this episode.
There follows a not-at-all ominously foreshadowing of Gwen and her father hugging and parting for the day, with Gwen having lovingly made her father a sandwich. I'm sure Gwen's father will become not-at-all ill in the course of this episode. (It is also worth noting that Gwen, who is black, has a black father. Who is the blacksmith. He is, indeed, a /black/ smith, and you can discuss amongst yourselves what the BBC deserves for that.) Gwen proceeds on her way with a bouquet of flowers and stops to either horribly flirt with Merlin or accuse him of homosexuality by specifically offering him a purple flower ("Purple suits you") and going on to report to Morgana.
I still don't know why none of these servants live near the people they're supposed to be serving.
When Gwen gets to Morgana's rooms, it is TOTAL LESBIANS, with Gwen giving Morgana the flowers, and Morgana telling Gwen that she makes Morgana feel better after a long, sleepless night.
Sadly, we must leave the lesbians and suffer through a lot of CSI: Camelot. Gayus tells us that they can't use magic to solve this (totally magic) disease, but they must use SCIENCE. The majority of Gayus' lines for the rest of the episode can be summed up as: SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE. Because, as you know, in the Middle Ages, there was a /huge/ difference between science and magic. Gayus drags Merlin away from a dying man in the street and goes on a long talk about how they must not use magic, even to save lives, and only rely on SCIENCE. SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE. Because magic is evil. Depending on how you use it. But if you use it, you'll eventually go evil. Luckily, Gayus is interrupted by Arthur breaking in to search through all the houses in town for the source of the magical plague.
SHIT HAS MERLIN HIDDEN HIS MAGIC BOOK?
No. No he hasn't.
Luckily, Arthur is more interested in critiquing how tidy Merlin keeps his rooms, and doesn't notice the magic book under all the clothes scattered around Merlin's room.
As soon as Arthur and his soldiers leave, Merlin's once again on about how he wants to use his magic to save the people in this totally safe and not-at-all paranoid environment. No magic, only science. WE GET IT.
We also get our first glimpse of the monster lurking in the water supply. It's terrible and cheesey and kind of bad CGI Clayface.
There is a brief interlude where Giles tells Arthur how hard it is to be an evil, paranoid Dictator.
OH GOD MORE CSI: CAMELOT.
AND WHO THE HELL JUST DRINKS STRAIGHT WATER IN THE MIDDLE AGES?
Ahem.
Oh my goodness, Gwen (who is dressed like Little Red Riding Hood) has found her ill father in bed! She runs to Gayus, begging for his aid. In this episode, Gwen is playing the part of Helpless Victim and Devoted Daughter. Merlin is, of course, incensed that the father of someone he knows has the plague, and that is all the excuse he needs to go and rebelliously break into Gwen's house and save her father's life (once he has assaulted and avoided the guards - specifically, the black guard).
Man, when an episode goes from one day to the next, there are always these great scenes of all these covered corpses in the castle courtyard.
Gayus goes to explain to Giles and Arthur about the source of the plague and Giles, in a shocking and out of character display, sends Arthur off to work even harder to find the damn dirty witch in the city who's pissing in the water.
Meanwhile, Merlin shows his /sheer genius/ by poking in on Gwen and asking if her father's better. He is! Gwen is baffled as to how Merlin knew, since /every other person/ who was sick /died/ within the day.
You know who else is baffled by this development? Arthur! Who finds Gwen's dad happy, healthy, and blacksmithing. Gwen's dad does absolutely nothing to make Arthur less suspicious and, indeed, points out that the only one who was there for Black the Smith's miraculous recovery was Gwen. Arthur and his soldiers break into the blacksmith's hut and find the collection of herbs Merlin stuck in the pillow, and, in the blink of an eye, Arthur is arresting Gwen and his soldiers are dragging Gwen off.
Morgana thinks this is bullshit, because in this episode, she has spun the female character stereotype of being the one who is always right and sees the truth, while Giles and his hot-headed son are thinking with their penises (and desire to chop off some heads).
Merlin is, of course, shocked by this development, and runs off to save Gwen (who is getting lots of scenes to dramatic music as she's dragged around by the guards and treated like shit). Morgana interrupts Gwen's not-trial to try and defend her girlfriend, but, man, Giles has a hard-on for potential beheadings, and logic will not sway him. Giving Gwen a chance to cry and beg for her life to the sound of /swelling violins/. When she's gone, Morgana tries to argue that Gwen is a filthy, hard-done-by servant, and if she could do magic, she'd be cleaner and wouldn't suffer. Even Arthur tries to join in the logic party, but Giles demands death.
Merlin bemoans the consequences of his stupid actions to Gayus, and runs off to see Gwen in prison (I guess that even in crazy Dictator-state Camelot, that's allowed). There is a dramatic and teary scene between them, according to the music and the tears on Gwen's face. Gwen begs Merlin "not to forget her" (gag), and Merlin vows to save Gwen's life ...
By breaking in on a meeting of Giles' and claiming he's the evil sorcerer. Gayus tries to save Merlin by pointing out that he's an idiot. When Giles decides it's time for Merlin's episodic arrest, Arthur throws himself between Merlin and Giles, pointing out that Merlin couldn't have done it because he has a grave mental disease (this is the best part of the episode) and he's trying to save Gwen's life because he's in love with her. Everyone has a good laugh at Merlin's expense, Arthur beats his idiot head a bit, and Merlin's saved from an execution.
Gayus is still on his CSI: Camelot kick, and drags Merlin down to some caves (without dragons in) to find proof of the mud monster. Merlin runs down to tell Gwen she's totally going to be saved, but Gwen ignores him, sensibly. And, since it's not so far from the dungeons, Merlin also goes to see John Hurt the Last Bad CGI Dragon.
The Last Bad CGI Dragon talks like a fortune cookie about the elements and Merlin's fate with Arthur, but there are whole /seconds/ of previous unseen dragon CGI. It's almost like we haven't seen this before! Almost.
Back at Gayus', Merlin gets a lecture on the elements. And THE SCIENTIFIC PROCESS.
The important thing is that Merlin, and Arthur, have to go light some shit on fire. And Morgana invites herself along, with some of her "feminist" sniping at Arthur. This would be as annoying as all of the other "feminist" bits with Morgana, but she delivers the totally random and hilarious line that Merlin is "a lover", unlike Arthur, and that's why he's willing to save Gwen.
Morgana makes a bit deal out of being included on the quest to destroy Clayface, so of course when the monster is finally found, she spends a lot of time screaming and being in the way. Merlin has to use his magic to make the fire strong enough to destroy Clayface, but luckily Arthur is selectively blind when it comes to magic. Morgana, who comes to have a talk about Merlin's "secret" and what she "Saw", turns out to have seen nothing, and is, in fact, referring to Merlin's deep, passionate love for Gwen.
Because she is a girl and it is all about boys and relationships for girls, as she's misplaced her time-travelling feminist card once more by the end of the episode.
Oh, and Gayus explains about the source of the plague to Giles, so Gwen can go free, and Giles can be ominous about the events in his past that made him so gosh darn keen about killing witches.
Next time: Arthur has to risk his life to save Merlin, or Merlin MIGHT DIE. Either this episode will be delightfully gay, or Merlin will die, so it's win-win.