Sleepless Night
I spent another night with no sleep. No biggy. I'm not that tired because i got an energy drink to back me up. lol. There's just always something in my life.....that puts me on hold. It's really hard....
It's really hard when someone that you love looks you in the eyes and says "damn right i'm disappointed in you." Alot of people would always say "I'd rather someone be mad at me than disappointed" because disappointment from people you care about is a hard thing to deal with. People hate the feeling of failing the loved ones that they so deeply wish they had their approval. Tears ran down my face again, remember what she said to me....the truth about who I am and who I'm not. The most famous phrase has been "I ask for little things".....but even though that is true....the little things can be so,.....meaningful in another's eyes. I am who I am, and that isn't good enough. I can either run with that, or fight it. But i've been fighting it....and it hurts too much. It's the idea.....the idea of being someone that I'm not...for someone else.
But how can I be so offended....when I'm still on the road to figure me own in the first place. I can be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend...the perfect everything. But in order for me to be so generous to the world around me, I have paid a price for it over and over. I have given all my strength to this world, and left none for me. I am not self-centered, self-righteous, or selfish. Everyday, I think about everyone else, and some people don't realize it.
It's really hard when someone that you love looks you in the eyes and says "damn right i'm disappointed in you." Alot of people would always say "I'd rather someone be mad at me than disappointed" because disappointment from people you care about is a hard thing to deal with. People hate the feeling of failing the loved ones that they so deeply wish they had their approval. Tears ran down my face again, remember what she said to me....the truth about who I am and who I'm not. The most famous phrase has been "I ask for little things".....but even though that is true....the little things can be so,.....meaningful in another's eyes. I am who I am, and that isn't good enough. I can either run with that, or fight it. But i've been fighting it....and it hurts too much. It's the idea.....the idea of being someone that I'm not...for someone else.
But how can I be so offended....when I'm still on the road to figure me own in the first place. I can be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend...the perfect everything. But in order for me to be so generous to the world around me, I have paid a price for it over and over. I have given all my strength to this world, and left none for me. I am not self-centered, self-righteous, or selfish. Everyday, I think about everyone else, and some people don't realize it.