thoughts on love's mishaps, part 3.

[starsxscars]

Me: mom put things into perspective last night when she said all the guys i'm interested in already have girlfriends. and she's right. it's not that no one interests me, they're just in relationships

Comments

[paperlibrarian]

Generally, when women dig on guys who are taken, it means one of three things. I'm pretty sure yours is the one where you find it difficult to trust, so you look for certain qualities, but you can't see those in action without that person being a relationship. So it's like...argh!

[starsxscars]

wow that's...amazingly accurate actually!

[paperlibrarian]

IDK why people continue to be surprised by this stuff...

[starsxscars]

because not a lot of people care enough to sit back and analyze their feelings/actions

[paperlibrarian]

I don't think it's a lack of care so much as a terrible fear that they won't like what they see.

People assume that things "are"--that is, "I am ___" and "I am ___" not realizing that our make-up isn't static like that. That's why I hate when people say things like "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Cheating is a behavior, often a repeated, compulsive behavior, but still a behavior. I'm not even crazy about people being labeled alcoholics all of their lives. If it's been twenty years, and you're not tempted at all anymore, are you still "an alcoholic"? That's partially a semantic debate though, and WAY off-topic. :D

Point is, anything we think we "are" is pretty much changeable behavior (er, that relates to personality; sexual orientation obviously doesn't count). But the person has to realize it, admit it, and WORK to change it. Not everyone is willing to take those steps. And I find that sad, but unfortunately all too common.