maybe i don't miss him.
maybe i just miss how it felt.
he made me nervous. people rarely do that anymore.
i think it was the feeling of being wanted that made something as simple as driving around with him exhilarating. not wanted in a sexual sense. though, there was that too...just wanted as company. as a friend. someone to trust.
it's so strange to think back and remember how i felt. because in a way, it doesn't seem real, yet i can see us. late nights and stupid fights. every time we said goodbye or didn't bother to, knowing it would be a year before one of us contacted the other again. every time we reunited after those long months and knew that nothing had changed. it sounds silly, but i'm almost positive all of those days were warm and sunny.
it's always the same. i do really well for a while, and he isn't even a thought in the back of my mind. then i hear one of his songs being played in a williamsburg consignment shop. then i remember something funny we did. then he's in one of my dreams. and i start wishing again.
i wish i said yes the first time. i wish he said yes the second time. i wish the third time was that day, over and over.
it's almost been a year. and i'm almost positive i won't ever hear from him again.
he made me nervous. people rarely do that anymore.
i think it was the feeling of being wanted that made something as simple as driving around with him exhilarating. not wanted in a sexual sense. though, there was that too...just wanted as company. as a friend. someone to trust.
it's so strange to think back and remember how i felt. because in a way, it doesn't seem real, yet i can see us. late nights and stupid fights. every time we said goodbye or didn't bother to, knowing it would be a year before one of us contacted the other again. every time we reunited after those long months and knew that nothing had changed. it sounds silly, but i'm almost positive all of those days were warm and sunny.
it's always the same. i do really well for a while, and he isn't even a thought in the back of my mind. then i hear one of his songs being played in a williamsburg consignment shop. then i remember something funny we did. then he's in one of my dreams. and i start wishing again.
i wish i said yes the first time. i wish he said yes the second time. i wish the third time was that day, over and over.
it's almost been a year. and i'm almost positive i won't ever hear from him again.