untitled folder (censored)
I worried if I looked away he'd be gone...What Do I Want? Not quite sure. Still trying to figure out this fate shit. Like why things happen? Yes if you think back I have said this before. I have. But now i refer to it in a difference sense. Being mentally shoved in a corner and have your thoughts race to the point of overload is crazy. I mean, I always know what I want but my thoughts and feelings were just all tangled. I said everything i wanted to. this is to refresh myself: Dating... seeing someone... exclusive if you will... no bullshit... and common courtesy apply. God I really hope I dont lose a great friend because of this, we can go far career wise....I don't want relationship crap to ruin what could have been. I need to let things aside, put away jelousy and just live. I think things should be okay but this time its going to be different. It just has to be and I wont let things go the same way like before. My past still burdens me somewhat and takes away from who I used to be and streaks what I have become. I worry. I've always worried. i need to not worry. i worry before i drink that im going to get sick i worry before sex that im going to get pregnant. I worry that if I don't worry something will go wrong if no one is in control. I worry....I dont want to worry... I need to let control go. I just want to live and I hope that I can real soon. life is here for me now...time to break free..yep. its time.......